Stay the Course; Follow Your Dreams
Author's Note and a Word of Caution:
Please be advised that the following article may discourage or encourage you to succeed or fail in life, like it or not. I may be supporting or arguing the fact that you should or should not follow your dreams however ridiculous or practical they may be. I can neither confirm nor deny the effectiveness of my own advice as I am my own guinea pig in the entire ordeal so results will vary (readers please be wary of this and take heed). I will not be responsible nor be held accountable for any or all successes or failures that you may or may not enjoy or worse, befall. However, I might just one day smile at you and say to you, "I told you so" whether it be in a negative or positive light. So, in the immortal words of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi, "May the Force be with you."
An Attempt to Murder My Dream
Just the other day, I got into a heated argument about my place in life and the direction I’m heading. The person in question will remain anonymous as this person married into my family. I’ve had arguments with this particular person before, but nothing nearly as serious or inflammatory and the reason being is because the subject was me and more importantly, my dreams. Coincidentally, Anonymous Person and the first and last name of this person’s initials are A.P. With that said, their initials will remain A.P. The following is a dramatization of what actually transpired:
A.P.: “So what are you doing with yourself?”
Me: “I’m editing my novel and am writing on the internet.”
A.P.: (Snorts) “Are you making any money doing this?”
Me: “No, not really.”
A.P.: “Then why are you doing it if it isn’t making any money?”
Me.: “Because I enjoy it and know that it’s something I need to try and do…I want to publish my novel someday. Besides, why do you have to be paid for something you enjoy?”
A.P.: “You know, people everywhere write thousands of books and never publish. They waste away their lives and go nowhere.”
Me: “Well, it’s my dream to get published.”
A.P.: “You are a dreamer. You’ll never get anywhere by dreaming.”
Me: (Visibly pissed) “I’ll remember you said that for when I do get published.”
When growing up, I was only told to follow my dreams and that I could accomplish anything, so long as I put my mind to it. I’m sure that you heard the very same thing when growing up as well. I was told that I could become an astronaut, a United States senator (being an immigrant from Laos, I couldn’t ever become President), a doctor, an artist, and that the world was my oyster as long as I was willing to dive head first and dive really deep. I was told by my father that, “America is the land of opportunity where hopes and dreams are realized.” And I as a gullible “dreamer” believed him wholeheartedly every step of the way while walking along that Yellow Brick Road.
What Did You Want to Be When You Grew Up?
In the Face of Failure
It takes a lot of fearlessness and courage to pursue your dream and attain your lifelong goals. I often think about how life would be like if I fail and fail while trying to achieve my goal of getting published. When I start forgetting more than I’m learning each and every day of my tired life, I’ll look into the bathroom mirror and see before me, a defeated old man staring back at me, in which I’ll ask myself honestly, “What have you done with your life?” And when my life begins to slip away while lying upon my ill-fated death bed while losing consciousness, I’ll say to myself, “Damn, I wish I made an effort to get published.” Alas, another life wasted and spent in futility, having spent my entire life living in the purgatory known as mediocrity. Surely, to die before ever reaching my goal would be the worst fate I could suffer. This is my biggest fear.
I don't ever want this to happen.
My Dream Car
Please click to enlarge
Giving It Your All
So what if you gave your all, having written your “Opus” of an unsolicited novel and placed it on an aluminum foil pie-dish (because you couldn’t afford a silver platter) or in other words, your “heart” and placed it in the awaiting white gloved hands of a literary agent or prominent publishing house and said to them, “This is all that I got; this is my everything—my all—my hopes and dreams and this is by far my best work…So please, please, please consider it for publication.” And so these same folks take your work and poked, prodded, and toiled with it: Maybe they read only the first three chapters. Maybe they read only the brief synopsis and leafed through a few of the pages while skimming your Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and consequently gave it their Stamp of Disapproval with a middle-finger and when finally they had enough of your laughable “work” they hand it back to you whilst pinching their noses shut to expel the odor that now emits from that same aluminum foil pie-dish. But now your work or heart isn’t what it was when first you submitted it for publication. Now that “heart” of yours has a damn meat cleaver jutting out of it and that aluminum foil pie-dish is no longer an aluminum foil pie-dish but a chopping block. The pain of rejection hurts that much—so much so that you want to just to give it all up and go back to that day job you despise. Who knows, maybe you’ll go home and set your novel on fire. Didn't your mother tell you that there would be days like this?
Sailing Takes Me Away
My Fear of Regret Outweighs My Fear of Rejection
Yes, so let me reiterate: My fear of regret outweighs my fear of rejection. In other words, I’d much rather die trying
than live a life filled with regret. Say it however you
want to, just say it out loud and dammit, say it proud! Having worked in several “real
jobs” after college graduation, I find that I was happiest during the time I
was barely getting by while working forty hours a week at a local supermarket
and writing my novel that I’m currently editing.
To many of you, this may sound pathetic or sad, but to me, I had much
less stress in comparison to working seventy-plus hours in a corporate office
barking orders at people who were old enough to be my parents. I really hated that. Maybe it was because I had too much
compassion for the people that worked so damn hard for me or for a company that
believed everyone who didn’t have their own office as being expendable. Sure, I was making good money, but I was
miserable whilst watching my dreams of getting published slip away each day. My family and I escaped death and Communist persecution 10,000 miles away to come over here to America. I'd like to see to it that they didn't make a mistake in doing so and that their efforts were not in vain.
A Backyard Retreat
What's Your Dream?
All of us have a dream, don't we? I don't care if your dream is to become the next American Idol, the next Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods or Joe Montana; we all have dreams, no matter how big or how small. Maybe you're a 300-hundred pound plumber who dreams of one day starring in the Russian Ballet, or maybe you're a malnourished rocket scientist who dreams of becoming a celebrity chef--whatever...We all have them and we shouldn't let ANYONE stand in the way of us reaching our goals. Doing so will discredit us for ever dreaming in the first place. All of us have dreams and the moment that we push aside our dreams is the moment we begin dying--when we allow naysayers, jealous friends, and skeptics alike kick us in the pants and tell us that we suck. Be better than that! Be who you always wanted to be and better! Be stronger than fear! Be stronger than doubt! But for the Love of Maria, be stronger and braver than what you already are, because you know the road your on and you probably know where that road will lead, otherwise you wouldn't have any dreams in the first place and so are living it already. My advice is for you to follow it to the ends of the earth. Chase after your rainbow. And even if you don't a find a pot of gold at the end, at least you'll get to run through a grassy knoll the entire way.
Thanks for reading me and don't ever give up on your dream!
© Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.
I would like to personally thank Mystique1957 for writing a hub in response to this hub titled "To dohn121 regarding 'Stay the Course; Follow Your Dreams.'
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Comments
It is key to surround yourselves with positive rather than negative people when working toward your dreams. It is discouraging when someone comments on your dream or puts it down. Friends should uplift each other, but sometimes we aren't in the same place in life and don't have the spirit to uplift each other.
While I'm rather confident that one day you will be published you said it best with this sentence "My fear of regret outweighs my fear of rejection."
I feel exactly the same way. There are many things I regret from my younger years and I believe I have learned from these mistakes as well.
I will keep trying to pursue my dream because if I don't then I am stuck with yet another "What If?" question that will drive me nuts. What could I have done if only I had tried harder? I don't want to have this question haunting me again. I would much rather fail than have to ask myself this question yet once again. Failure is much better than regret. Still nothing beats a hard earned success either. :)
Hi dohn, I've put a link here from my newest hub. Let me know if it's ok. :)
I added the link, thanks so much for your kind words. It will be hard to give you back all that you give to me. Thanks my friend.
dohn121-- thanks so mcuh for this hub, it's exactly what I needed. you will publish I knwo you will. keep up the great work here!
Hi Dohn,
I found this story because I read Mystique's tribute to you on a hub; everything he said is well deserved and as you know I much appreciate you as a writer.
I know for sure your novel will be published and you will make your family proud.
Wow, my friend...
What I want to say is so long that I`d rather publish a hub about it than post it as an answer.
Just know you have inspired me deeply!
Thank you for being here!
yoroshiku onegai shimasu, dohn121-san!
I found this very thought provoking and, more especially, timely. I've been having my own thoughts on why I write here and who I am. you can find this at https://hubpages.com/relationships/Why-do-we-publi... I'd be interested to hear what you think. Jeff
This hub is simply great. I agree 100% with you. Great piece. And Ole's version of somewhere over the rainbow is one of my very preferred songs ever. It makes my heart vibrating, so to speak.
For some of us, writing is almost as important as breathing. For the rest, they will never understand. If you ever need to find out how important writing is to you, just stop writing! If you can't handle life without, then your a writer! thanks for the hub. I enjoyed it.
Dohn.... Wonderful HUB. To paraphrase Mark Twain "In the end, it will be those things that we did NOT do that we will regret, not the things we did..." Or something like that, still TRUE non-the-less. As you know, I am living part of your dream now, and of course withstanding my share of "dream smashers" as well, but also like you the normal world did not treat me much better. Oh well... "Tally ho, and off we go", check my HUB "This Dream, It Seems"..... we may yet cross paths. Best JM
Love it, love it! Without dreams there would only be the reality of nothing. There's nothing more pleasant than having a vision and having that vision manifest itself into reality. Great Hub, Dohn!
Not only is your hub inspirational to all hubbers, but it is by far the very best thing you could do for your own desire to succeed. With this hub published and being commented on constantly, you have constant reminders of what your goals truly are and how far you are willing to go to reach them. In my hub I refer to this as a dream folder, and yours is absolutely perfect for renewing your strength to accomplish everything you desire. There is not a doubt in my mind that you will succeed Dohn, and it is a pleasure to be your fan and read your writings. Here's to the success that lies just around the corner for us all!
How beloved you are! Lord knows I chased my dreams for 20 years in the music business against much criticism in my family. And when I was done, I was flat broke and everything I owned fit in a car. But I was happy. At my class reunion, the guy who had become rich, and who was usually a bit snobbish, took me aside and told me he was envious of me. I was incredulous. He said, "You're the only person in this room who followed his dream. And we all had one."
Wow Dohn, I'm not gonna read the thousand comments on this thing, so sorry if I repeat. My guess is this un-named person trying to crush your dreams has been put in your path to give you moxy. So, kudos to him for a job well done. :) In reading this I really feel like I need to get myself a dream. Other than the one of paying my bills... yep. I gotta get me one of them dream things. ;)
Hello Dohn
I sent you an email regarding the book I had published. By the look of all of these amazing comments you've been busy replying, but I just wanted to make sure you received it OK.
The best advice anyone could ever get. Keep it up my friend. You are on your way!!
A heartfelt 'Thankyou' Dohn! - that is what I can say here.
yes, Thanks a lot, really.
Reading your hub and the following comments instills a strength to keep believing in one's self. As you can see/feel that you are an inspiration to many of us here...Dohn, all your hard work, aspirations and our wishes for you will not go in vain, I am sure you will be published.yes..you will. PERIOD! ;)
Yes we all need to dream that is what gives us our goals in life to continue on. I have also written 2 novels not published. In fact I stopped writing for ages as I was virtually laughed at like you I have been writing for about two years again now. We have to believe in ourselves sometimes and do what we enjoy. That is a part of life experience we all have to learn. Great and lots of comments too.
Anybody who says don't follow your dreams are completely idiotic. Your hub was amazing and very well written.
This is a beautiful hub, Dohn! Very inspirational as well. You are an amazing writer and it is lovely to here how your perseverance is riding high. I think it is when we stop giving to what we love to do everything else can become more trying and difficult to achieve. This was great for me to read to connect with your passion and fire for your dreams. Beautiful!
Cool dude. I like your dreams. I love adventuring and writing as well. There's nothing like it. I'm glad you didn't give in to the negativity. Keep truckin!!
So far I've just only looked over this hub. I like it. I particularly like the pictures (photos) I'm going to start reading now. I already know it is for me. Thanks a lot. I can truely sit back and enjoy. You are my type of writer.
Read, enjoyed and agree with every word of this hub. You go! I command a publishing deal for you and it will come forth in the next six months! Like you, I have finally given up on dead end jobs and glamorous careers that I hated and gone back to writing, which is what I was orginally supposed to do. My dream of earning a decent living while inspiring others with a God given gift lives and you've inspired me this day to keep going after it. Thank You.
I am so glad you mentioned this hub to me! I wrote one where I share how I encourage others to follow their dreams. You are a very good writer and you need to follow your dreams, absolutely. I too think that the day I meet my death, I hope, I don't have any regrets of things left undone. Following one's heart is the highest honor you can give yourself, how can it not be, its the highest part of yourself. I remember reading from one of Wayne Dyer's book, that is important to surround oneself with positive people, they are probably also following their own dreams so most likely will not would feel threatened by another's success.
So glad to finally getting a chance to read your work!
You are not only an excellent writer but also a good son who wants to honor his parents. You have already honored them with what you have said about them and when you can help them financially it will be frosting on the cake. Please put me down for one of those autographed copies of your book!
dohn, your hub was touching. Truly heartfelt and wonderfully clear. Better yet was reading all of the support you have received from your fans here at HubPages. You are truly blessed. But you completely deserve it, for you give nothing less than your best, especially when encouraging other writers.
I'm glad to hear that you are going for the gold! Here's to seeing as much success as you can handle graciously.
Dohn, you just made me shed some tears and I haven't really cried that much these past two years! I told my husband by hook or by crook we'll make the decision next year. Right now, I just want to ask for help from Up There on the right decision for us. It's not that easy. Thanks, thanks, thanks! :)
Hey dohn, thanks for this hub. I could have sworn you made this hub especially for me. LOL :)
Seriously, you just took the (written) words out of my mouth (or my fingers). I've written a hub about making up my mind and I guess it all boils down to one thing - am I really doing what I want to do? Right now, I'm all about obligation - to my father, his practice and my people. But the time is coming when I will really have to make up my mind and decide what I really want and follow it.
I salute you for doing what your heart desires and don't ever give it up. You're a great writer and you will get published one day. Who knows, that one day may happen next year? :) Maybe instead of predicting how many fans you'll get, I should predict when you'll get published :). Hang in there and keep on writing. We're all rooting for you.
Dohn, what an honest and heartfelt hub! Be who you have to be and don't ever give up hope! It pains me to no end to realize that my life is full of regrets, one of which is giving up on being a writer at such an early age because of something or someone that I let define me. Don't let that happen to you. Keep writing and keep developing as a writer...that's the journey that writers embrace. I do want to tell you that Amazon has "Create a Space" where you work with them on publishing your work. There are no upfront fees that I am aware of and they charge some type of royalty fee, but they take care of it all for you. Check it out and keep on pursuing your dreams!
Sup DOHN,I have a couple of A.P.s in my life too.they are my immeadiate family members,and the funny thing about it is I have acheived and seen more things in my life than they have!I settled once for the 9 to five life and was content with working til retirement,until a couple of years back I lost my job and have been going from job to job ever since working a year or two here being laid off and working a year or two there and being laid off...so I don't care what the A.P.s in my life have to say about anything anymore because I tried the run down with the 9 to 5 played the safe route only to have the rug snatched out from under my feet!the dreamer in me has been reawakened because of the plant closings and jobs moving off shore and a failed economy,people with dreams are the people that change the world,look at thomas edison how wild a dream could that have been for a man of his time?look at the wright brothers inventing the air-plane,they was treated like morons until they made it happen,and all the A.P.s had to shut their mouths and fade to black while the wright brothers made history!!I'm a dreamer and dreamers can't stop dreaming they can only stop chasing their dreams,they can only give up trying to make it real,but a dreamer will never be able to stop thinking about his/her dream they will always wonder what if? its better to chase your dreams and fail than to wake up ninety years old one day still wondering what if you would have just tried a little bit harder?
Dohn let me tell you something that might help you stand where you are. People in society live in a shackled ground; they only see the world through a narrow view and entrap themselves with this thing called 'reality'. Their 'reality' is actually their five senses at work, so we can never be sure if that reality truly does exist.
What we do know that exists is ourselves and our dreams and that is far more real than by their definition of reality. You don't live on the ground, you live amongst the sky and the world is your playground. People work to live and live to work; they are both bullshit. You don't need to work to live, all you need to do is simply live.
Writing keeps me alive and I'm sure it is as so to you. Keep dreaming and keep living. Pity the others who don't see the world as you do, because they can get all the money and power they want, but what they will never have done is lived a life.
Money makes some people very happy, and writing makes you very happy. Isn't that a human being's ultimate universal goal? So if you achieve your goals through easier means than more power to you.
They say that the best things in life are free. And to dream is free. But what you actually do about realizing it is what makes it exciting. The challenges are there to excite, to drive and fuel us not to deter.
A great hub! You're like a one-man support group my friend. A positive presence on HP. I should listen to you more. Two thumbs up! Way waaaaaay up! :D
Dohn,
This is a fantastic post! I couldn't agree more with you on every point you make. Yours is a tremendous story and I would love to see you succeed in getting published. It's funny because most of the people who scoff at our dreams, inside regret what they are doing and that they DIDN'T chase theirs!
My only issue with your hub is that I wish it was longer. I want to hear more. I am definately a fan of yours now, and I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts on chasing your dreams.
Keep standing tall and aiming high,
Dan
Dohn, don't give up your dream. You have a lot of passion for it.
I had a dream to set up a small IT Business in 2001. I was bored stiff of 9-5 and wanted to work less hours, earning even more money. (ha! have my cake and eat it)
My Job in 2001 was An Administrator with the Police £18,000 - very good pay. Well, I quit. My colleagues said I was crazy and thought I'd gone cuckoo. Long story short, got a list of about 50 IT Software Training centres, did a mail shot, got contracts with two of them which led me down another career in life and paid much more than the Admin.
Here's the thing - years later, looking back. I thought "how did I do that"? and I remember so clearly in my heart I was 110 % sure that it would be a successful venture and I had 0% doubt in my head. I hope this encourages you. Good Luck.
Loving your dream car above and the wheels "ding dong"! :)
I enjoyed reading this because far too often we sell out our dreams for "reality"...and where does this lead to? Empty? Full of regrets? Angry? Sad? Lonely? Hmmmm....I say live and dream! :)
Hello Dohn
This is powerful writing. You are so RIGHT to keep following your dreams but you already know that. There are too many knockers and no one person can tell another how to live their life. I would like to share a wee story about me - my dream of getting published seemed unreachable and then suddenly (almost out of the blue!) I was offered a book deal! It was one of those precious moments in life. It happens and sometimes it happens when you are not expecting it. Keep those dreams!
I beleive in everything that you are saying here! It is important to keep your eyes on your dreams. Sometimes, it might be difficult during tough times. Due to the naysayers, and jealous friends one should push past those things and not listen to them.
dohn - you never regret what you have done but what you have not done or attempted. Just don't feel alone. I think the hubpages are full of similar folks. Someday, we'll meet at the Tavern on the Green while lunching with our editors!
Another great hub, Dohn. You know I'm one of your biggest fans. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you're going to successfully publish your book(s). I'm excited already. :) You've renewed my desire to finish one of a couple I've started.
In reading this hub it was so inspirational, and also displayed your very real talent for writing. I have no doub that you'll meet your goals!
Dohn,
Don't let anyone stop you from dreaming. I believe your dreams will all come true for you. Why? Because you are such a talented writer and you write with passion. I also am following my dream. I am working on my CD today. We are laying down the vocal tracks.
This was a wonderful, heartfult hub. Thanks for the inspiratin!
Dohn, I agree editing is so much more difficult. If you ever need a second pair of eyes, let me know--I've a writing degree too--though it's more non-creative--articles, memoirs...such.
Also, I want to share a great writer's magazine--simply called The Writer--you will find lots of encouragement and lots of writing tricks/tips from established writers. It's the best magazine I've subscribed!
Good luck on your venture.
dohn --
You write hubs from the heart. (Sounds like a Hallmark card series.) I think that's why your material is always such a nice read. Your determination will get you where you want to go, I'm sure. Go get that dream!
im trying to write and get published myself im not sure if I should try with an agent or not.
anyway I liked the skyline, but I loved the point you made in the article.
Thanks
dohn, this is truly a great piece and coming from an Asian family myself, I understand the value they place on getting monetary returns for work. The conversation with AP resonated with similarity in my family. Writing does seem like an idle profession(if only they knew), very much like the starving artist, but if you think you have found your calling (your work is your testament), I think you definitely have--then plod on. You'll get there and stand tall. We're all rooting for u.
I'm glad you're enjoying the work you're doing now. Keep up the good work and on days, when I'm down and wondering why I can't keep away from writing (even though I'm not making much), I'll remember your advice--even if I don't find the pot of gold, I would have the enjoyment of running through the grassy knoll--and the view has been worth every step I take.
Dohn you have 500+ fans saying we'll be proud to say "I knew him when." We love how you lay it on the line in every hub you write. I'm glad to be a fan and will demand you send me a signed copy of your book when you get it published. :D
Familial criticism can be the hardest to ignore, but your dreams are yours. People who are busy criticizing others' choices are usually not fully engaged or focused on their own dreams, or are merely trying to escape from their own problems. I was inspired by this hub and its personal nature. I've been there.
Yes dohn, follow your dreams, never give up. Keep at it and all power to you.
Since you are able to live frugally now, that is a big plus. It is the time needed to spend at work (whatever you need to do now to earn money) in order to put bread on the table and a roof over the head/s that seem to hinder most dreamers but that is reality. You seem to be well balanced in that respect. That is a good sign.
Mike.
You are a wonderful person and an excellent writer! All of us have dreams and I certainly know that you are going to achieve yours, if I can you can. My downfall on HP is that I read so much and forget to comment (lazy) but I love reading your hubs and this one is all about you I really truly enjoyed that. :)
Dohn--I had to come back and read this once more--it has become my daily affirmation of sorts! I cannot wait till you can show them that dreams do come true! I was told before that people can just hate you for just being happy--isn't that just the saddest thing, Dohn? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
I am happy for you Dohn--you show them!!! I will always be a fan and a good friend to you--in the good times when you are winning Oscars for your work, and in the bad times when you may be drunk from all the excitement of it all, and may pee your pants--shucks, I'd pee my pants too just so you would not be embarrassed alone--ok wait...peeing your pants may not be a cool thing to do...but I hope you understood what I meant. umm...yeah?
When you are dealing with people who think that your life should be in a corporate box all you have to do is go and speak with some retired people, especially older men. Ask them if they have any regrets. I absolutely guarantee that not one of them will say "I wish I'd spent more time at the office". Go for your dreams. As for dealing with rejection check out this guy's life. He seemed to go pretty well in the end
http://www.historyplace.com/lincoln/index.html
It's failure of an event that leads to rejection not failure of a person.
I once read that Jack London hung his Christmas tree with his rejection slips...rejection should be a motivator, a means to push harder, a challenge to your inner strength...success is going from failure to failure without losing one's enthusiasm...Thomas Edison has said " I have never failed at anything; I discovered 10,000 ways that don't work "....It all comes down to your own personal perspective ...Thanks for sharing your thoughts ( and dreams )... you have a beautiful heart and a beautiful way with words...both will sustain you in your quest to be published ... Larry
There is a name for these people, Dream Killers and they are.
They do it under the guise of I am trying to help you or the one I love the best, I'm your friend or I wouldn't tell you the truth..NOT! Your dreams are of course inside of you follow your heart always not people. I have been following your revenge series, it's great.
Dohn121, I read your warning, then I read your hub. I am sorry that your family member is not being supportive. I had a friend who went through a similar situation. He was an artist and his dream was to open a successful t-shirt line. Everyone he told either made fun of him or said he was wasting his life.
So he stopped telling people. He had 2-3 friends that believed in him and helped him (glad to say I was one of them), and he eventually was able to sell his shirts in 3-4 shops around his town and is now looking into internet sales in the next couple years.
Whether this will end up a big flop - I don't know... but I do know that he told me one of the best decisions he made was to pick and choose who he told so that he would not become discouraged... and it looks like his dream is coming true.
I agree with you... my fear of regret outweighs rejection... my problem is that I still REALLY fear rejection... and sometimes it overwhelms me (not going to lie) Good for you on working that out and writing an excellent hub :)
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