- HubPages»
- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing
Revenge, Inc. Part 4: A Short Story
Author's Note:
Hello, everyone and welcome back. Here is yet another installment or serial (however you would like to put it) to my Revenge, Inc. series. You'll find that I gave a bit of depth into the inner workings of Valhalla and abroad in this addition (which I am not quite sure how many more there will be). Much more will be revealed just as soon as it materializes for me, so please be patient and enjoy. Please fee free to leave comments as I'm curious to hear what you think of this story so far. Thank you for reading.
-ODP
If you haven't already, please click on the corresponding links to be redirected to the preceding installments of Revenge, Inc.
Now, Highway 4 used to be a long stretch of rolling suburban homes of pastels meant to liven up the neighborhood. It wasn’t Jimmy that came to pick me up that day, but some other young deputy who was wet behind the ears. I think he told me his name was Randy. Just as soon as I got in, he took off onto Highway 4 and hit the flashers doing a burnout during takeoff.
Mayor Sylvestri proposed this bill that got owners on Highway 4 to paint their houses “favorable colors” in effort to spruce up the town, free of charge or in other words, tax payer's money. But the residents ate it up and entire families came out and painted their houses with pinks, purples, and yellows and had a fun time doing so. They made it a big smorgasbord, as families cooked and shared meals and refreshments with one another. But the upcoming years would prove to be somewhat of a joke and the proposed bill turned out to be a long-term failure with the stock market crashing and the bandits got away in their private jets to their off-shore accounts in Macau and the Caymans. You might have read all about this in the papers—just not the ones you normally read—but I read it in The Sentinel and believed it word for word. It all made sense to me and the sources were credible enough, as some of the minions of these fat cats had no problem pleading their innocence and crucifying their ex-higher-ups. Someone must have silenced those singing canaries because they were never heard from ever again.
It was during this time when all of the houses everywhere just about went to shit. Suddenly no one could afford their mortgages and so were forced into foreclosure and in many cases, poverty. Middle-class families were suddenly living in their cars with expired registrations and were keeping warm by burning trash as the homeless shelters were over maximum capacity. Letters to congress for help came back unopened and ignored. Then came the pushers and prostitutes turning the once trick-or-treat friendly houses into brothels and crystal methamphetamine factories geared to kill whatever the economy missed. Gangs of rogues began to form. They pillaged from those who were barely getting by during the Crisis. Think this can’t happen to your neighborhood? Think again. If it can happen to mine, it could definitely happen to yours. Everything just turned to instant shit.
While my mind was racing, Randy power-slides around the corner just enough to get the cruiser’s ass to barely miss a telephone poll. I damn near slid over on top of his lap, because I wasn’t wearing my seat belt.
“Where we going?” I asked him when I regained my seating. The station was right down Highway 4. We weren’t supposed to turn.
“Felix and company are over at the Lake,” Randy said.
I thought to say something but then kept my mouth shut. Already, my heart dropped like a stone and fell all the way down to my abdomen. I felt sick and felt the blood rushing out of my face and my extremities, making me shiver. I didn’t like that we were headed to the Lake. I didn’t like this punk cop driving and I of course didn’t like how things were becoming blurry as the image of Haley was already a fading photograph in my mind.
At the gated entrance of Willow Lake, a cruiser was stationed at the path with another newbie cop who stood waiting. As soon as he saw us, he waved us in. When we got inside, I saw Felix’s cruiser, two dark gray unmarked detective cruisers, an ambulance, and a few other cars I didn’t recognize. Felix, who was squatting when I arrived, stood up and looked at me. Before Randy could come to a complete stop, I hopped out of the cruiser and hit the ground running. Felix put both his hands up to try and slow me down, or so I thought.
“Now Cody,” Felix said. “I want you to…Hey! Look at me!” But my eyes were trying desperately and without success to see around Felix’s large frame. Everyone at the lake was huddled around something that was ground-level. And just as I was about to walk past Felix, I felt that death-grip upon my shoulder again just like the other night. It was Felix’s bear paws on both my shoulders. He stopped me in my tracks. He had my attention. “Okay, are you with me now?” Felix had fixed his gaze upon me. I nodded my head. “We found Haley, but not the way you had hoped…I’m so sorry, Cody. Haley's gone.” All the air left my body. I felt as if I got punched in the stomach by a fucking cinder-block.
Suddenly, the huddled mass around the object on the ground that lay atop a black tarp all got up and took a step back. Now all eyes were on me. There was Haley lying still. Her eyes were closed and her face pointed towards the river. She had no shoes or socks and was still wearing the same clothes I saw her in when last I saw her four days prior, which were jeans and a pink short-cropped blouse. The way she was lying there, I swear, it was like she was sleeping on her own bed back at the house on a late Saturday morning just like so many other Saturdays when I'd walk into her bedroom and find her asleep...But it was different this time. There was no rising or falling of her chest. There was no air being pulled in through her nostrils and no air escaping through the small opening of her mouth. Her skin was pale—it was almost a non-color. Haley looked like she was cold so I reach for her and find she’s like ice. Next thing, I’m rubbing her arms and hands to no avail and then lifting her up and off that black tarp that I discover isn’t a black tarp at all but an unzipped body bag.
“Jesus Christ, what the hell is he doing?” Felix says in the distance. “Cody! You can’t move her body!”
“She’s not a goddamn 'body,’ Felix! She’s my daughter.” I’m walking with Haley in my arms and didn’t know where I thought I was going. But wherever it was, Felix was in my way. “Step aside, Felix.”
“Listen to me Cody. Forensics has to investigate...They have to do their jobs.” I laugh.
“You know, captain. If you did your FUCKING job, we wouldn’t be having this conversation! You let my daughter get kidnapped and killed and now you want me to let you cut her up and probe her? Are you FUCKING NUTS?!”
“You're hysterical right now. Put her down, Cody. Now, you understand that I’m not asking you?”
"No, she's coming home with me, Felix, where she belongs. You can't stop me from taking my own daughter home."
He then motions for someone out of my view and gives them the nod. Next thing a black leather arm hooks me from underneath my chin and a firm hand covers the entire back of my neck. The world then slowly fades out of view as I begin to lose the strength to keep Haley from falling.
© Copyright, 2009. All Rights Reserved.
My Short Story Hubs
- Revenge, Inc: A Short Story
There are many factors in which inspired me to write this story and I owe much to some of the current events of the world, certain movies, with its wide range of characters, books, graphic novels, and... - Revenge, Inc. Part 2: A Short Story
Author's Note: I really was pleasantly surprised by the responses the very first installment of Revenge, Inc.garnered and did not think it as the first in a series as I intended it to be a stand-alone short... - Revenge, Inc. Part 3: A Short Story
I'd like to first thank you all for coming to read the next installment of Revenge, Inc. as I'm doing my best to bring to you this series just as soon as it unfolds. Please feel free to comment here as am... - Nancy : A Short Story
It was a voice hed heard long before calling his name that he faintly heard while working. Customers frequented the grocery store he worked en masseso much that he grew accustomed to filtering out the... - First Crush: Reba Ashkar: A Short Story
Its five-thirty on a Friday night in late June at the Westchester Yacht Club and everyone in Dohns graduating class is already there. Dinner will be served at precisely six. Outside, at the bottom of... - If I Had Wings: A Short Story
My family and I came to America right after Jimmy Carter left office. My first American memory arrived at John F. Kennedy airport, where we landed. It was cold in America, I remembered that very... - See You in the Bahamas: A Short Story
Victor sits across from me at their dining room table wearing his linen napkin as bib. A few times, I sat on that same chair. Between us is a carved pork roast atop a wood slab accompanied by very large... - For the Love of Buddhism: A Short Story
Thinking back, I can still see her now. Shes imperfect but clear in my mind. Shes as clear as the crystal orb that my clouded mind endeavored to envision back then when trying so desperately...
My Travel Hubs
- Visit Walt Disney World: Magic Kingdom
Cinderella's Castle at Magic Kindom If you are planning to visit Walt Disney World, I suggest that you go to Magic Kingdom first. To me and my family, it was the best way to start our tour of all four parks:... - Visit Walt Disney World: Hollywood Studios
Formerly known as, - Visit Walt Disney World: Animal Kingdom
If you are indeed planning a trip to Walt Disney World, Animal Kingdom should not be missed. The Kilimanjaro Safari alone is reason enough to go to Animal Kingdom, as it's a fun and exciting attraction with... - Visit Walt Disney World: Epcot Center
Spaceship Earth I always wanted to go to Disney World when I was a kid, but coming from a working class family with two brothers and two sisters, I wasn't ever able to go. When I reached adulthood, I lost... - Viva Las Vegas Vacation
Embarrassing as it may be, my flight to Vegas in October of 2005 was the first time I flew on an airplane since the age of four. The only thing I remember from my flight then was that I had to use one of... - Autumn In New Paltz, New York
Several years ago when first I transferred from Plattsburgh to New Paltz, New York, I didnt know what to expect. My emotions were an equal mix of excitement and fear as I began a new chapter in my life.... - Visit Luang Prabang Laos
Wat Haw Pha Bang in Luang Prabang Laos Steeped in history and tradition, Luang Prabang is Laos' Crown Jewel. Inducted into the United Nations Educational, Scientific, Cultural Organization (UNESCO) in 1995... - The Grand Canyon's West Rim
The West Rim of the Grand Canyon In October of 2006, I was asked by my sister and her husband to go to Las Vegas for ten days. Aside from the fact that my job was killing me and that I needed a break, Vegas...
Hubs On Writing and Other Works
- Write a 55-Word Story
The widely popular literary journal Roanoke Review is holding a short-story contest this month! The first place prize is $1,000 and the second place prize is $500 for a story up to 6,000 words which means a... - Escape: A True Story
Escape By Khamfone Paditsone Tr. dohn121 Author's Note: To eliminate some confusion, my father is narrating this story not me In the summer of 1945 during the end of the World War II, my father Dohn was... - Remembering Nine Eleven
I remember the day clearly. It was a picture-perfect day that day. There were no clouds in the sky against a pane of unblemished blue. The temperature was somewhere between high-sixties and low-seventies... - Unrequited Love: The One That Got Away
Author's Note: I want to thank my friend and confidante, Fierycj for inspiring me to write this hub. After reading First Crush: Reba Ashkar: A Short Story, he insisted that I contact her and find out her... - How to Write a Novel and Find the Voice Within
How I know I'm a Writer Hello. My name is Dohn and I am a writer. No one ever told me that I was a writer (thank God) and no one ever had to. How I became a writer was a conscious decision I made on my... - Cloudbursts In a Small Island Village
Korean author Hwang Sun-Won's stories, Cloudburst and In a Small Island Village examines the degree of social deterioration within Korean society, due to the Japanese occupation. Both storieshave... - Why I Write: A Reflection
Having reached my 49th Hub and completing the 30/30 Hubchallenge, I thought about maybe taking a week off or so, basking in the satisfaction of a job well done and just laying myself off on...
My Lao Hubs
- Lao Folktales : The Magic White Swan
Once there was a lonely farmer who decided to go fishing one day. He wore a shawl around his head to save from being bitten by mosquitoes and other bugs and carried a long fishing net. When he reached... - Lao Folktales : The Crescent Moon Comb
Author's Note: A word about mia noi or minor wives For married men to have minor wives is a common practice in both Thai and Lao societies. A minor wife is a mistress in which a married man will have in... - Lao Folktales : The Mango Tree
A real mango tree! There once a beautiful mango tree that grew in the jungle near a village. Each and every year when its fruit was in season, the children from the village would run into the jungle... - An Introduction To Sticky Rice
Before even diving into a hot basket of steaming sticky rice, make sure you do a temperature test much the same way you stick your big toe in a lake before jumping in (although I don't recommend you trying... - Beer Lao
As I recall, I first learned about Beer Lao from a T-Shirt. While walking around one day at my Buddhist Temple fair grounds during a festival, I spotted a Lao guy not much younger than me walking around... - Alexandra Bounxouei: The Lao Princess of Pop
Courtesy AlexandraBounxouei.com Chances are, unless you are Lao (like me) or Bulgarian, you've never heard of Alexandra Bounxouei (pronounced boon-soo). As her title indicates, Alexandra or Sandra for short,... - Visit Luang Prabang Laos
Wat Haw Pha Bang in Luang Prabang Laos Steeped in history and tradition, Luang Prabang is Laos' Crown Jewel. Inducted into the United Nations Educational, Scientific, Cultural Organization (UNESCO) in 1995... - Khene: The Mouth Organ of Laos
One Lao poem has stated that:
Comments
- Author
Wow. Thank you, thanglynn07. All that I imagined in writing this series was put forth in my writing and it's exactly as I saw this story "move." Can you tell that I enjoy watching movies just as much as I like reading books? How can I respond to such a flattering comment from you? Thank you!
Your words are like sharp daggers that pierce the hearts of readers to really FEEL every word...As if they were there, at the scene, clear as day, living every moment, feeling every emotion, taste, smell, the pungent smell of death and despair. As if I myself am living through the eyes of Cody through your words you bring your characters to life!
- Author
Thank you, Valerie. Like I said before, something can certainly be said for those that take the time out of their busy lives to read my work. It truly is a blessing and I appreciate it. Thank you so much for the compliment. I look forward to hearing more of your comments.
I have so much work to do today, housecleaning, weedwhacking, writing my own stuff, but I had to do my pilgrimage to this story to see what happened to Haly. This is intense, but thought provoking, and you get some political truths in too. I try to never write a noval that does not have some important statement to make, and that is true even if the book is erotica. LOL. Good story; love it. Will read chapter five tomorrow. (: V
- Author
Thank you again! I sure do hope that you continue reading!
I am impressed, a pleasure to read.
- Author
Haha! This is easily one of the best comments I've heard yet. I'm sorry I distracted you, but they'll be time for your hubs, don't worry.
No, I don't think your author score will suffer from reading hubs (at least I don't think you will). How could it? This is a social website and you're being social by reading hubs and leaving comments! I couldn't ask any more for anyone who reads and comments.
Geez. I really don't know what to say tho that, my friend. Thank you. I have been writing for a long time (over twenty years) and used to make up stories on the fly as a kid.
I'm off to your next comment.
It sucks you Haley had to die and all. I expect much violence is yet to come.
I really should be working on my own hub, but this is rather hard to stop reading. At least I can blame you if my author score takes a huge plunge. It's all Dohn's fault for hooking me on Revenge! :)
You sure have a way with words Dohn, I wish I had half of the talent you have. Maybe a bit will rub off on me as I read more of this excellent series.
- Author
Hi, loveofnight! Hope is never ever a bad thing! When after writing this installment/chapter, I wondered if my readers would think that exact same thing. Unfortunately, Haley is dead :( But of course her death is the catalyst to this entire story.
Thanks as always!
you can't believe how long i held on in the hopes that she was still alive......@###@@@...4 down and ready for the next chapter.....as stupid as it may say my mind is still telling me mistaken identity
- Author
I really hope that I'll have such an opportunity, apricot. I see my stories in that exact fashion. The truth is that I've watched many movies, maybe too much, but not nearly as much as I read! Don't you go fainting by the way! Thank you so much for continuing to read this.
ok, I'm taking deep breaths here..yes, I can see this becoming a film (I would faint at it of course but that's nothing new) Ah, my stomach's still churning! Great read!
- Author
Great to hear! Thanks, Freya!
T.T will read more!
- Author
That was the plan ;) I'm so glad that you're reading this! I hope that it wasn't too much of a chore! I hope to hear from you again soon, RM.
Woo Hoooo, look at me! I'm now ahead of schedule- 4 installments in 1 day! Guess you could say you got yourself 'a page turner'!
- Author
Thank you again, Al! I'm happy to see that you're following this story now. It's always a pleasure to hear from you, bro. Thank you again!
Dohn
Excellent delivery, Dohn!
Man, I nearly jumped and punched darn Felix right on his nose, hehe! Great morass of feelings and emotions! You did it again! I almost continued non-stop, but as I said before, I`d rather read it slowly and re-read it to savor it well!
Two thumbs up, my brother!
warm regards,
Al
- Author
Wow, thanks for the compliment, G Miah! I wrote this exactly how I envisioned it. I guess it helps that I love photography and am a huge movie buff. Some say I read too many books but I don't think I read nearly as much as I'd like. Thank you.
I can feel the emotions going through Cody when he sees his daughter lying there. This is gripping stuff, i'm enjoying word of it. The descriptions are visible in my mind, great work, you are a natural writer.
- Author
Thank you, TFT! I sounds like I did my job in telling this story to you :D You'll be caught up in no time flat!
Great work Dohn, I am back on track and I love the way the story is unfolding. I can really understand how empty and cold he feels, from the story you have told.
- Author
Thanks, Duchess. I can't say just how flattered I would be it this would turn into a movie. I really do like all my characters and the subplot of the story entirely. But as many writers would say, the story is king...I'm having a great time just creating. Thank you.
Watching closely the development, not only of your story, but of your readers. You are getting some excellent advise and ideas! Good job. Next
- Author
:D Thank you, cosette. That would be an amazing feat. I'm no screenplay writer, but I sure wouldn't mind selling it to someone! Part 5 comes out later today!
dude....DUDE!!! this would make an excellent movie! you blow me away.
- Author
Thank you, Enelle ;) That means a lot coming from you. I was always taught to not waste words and that is how I try to write (first and foremost). I'll also try my best at everything I do. I really could not ask for a better comment/compliment, so thank you! Part 5 will be ready by tomorrow, as I already wrote its first draft :D
Holy cow dohn! I can see by all the great comments that others feel very much like I do when I say "Awesome job!" You really do have a talent for writing. The flow of the story, the way you have the characters 'doing' instead of 'saying' and a whole lot more that would take up way too much space here.
Again - Awesome job! I will be searching my mail box for the next segment!
- Author
That's great to hear, Cris A. There's still much more that needs to be revealed before I reach the final conclusion. Stay tuned!
Just read the first four parts. What can I say, can't wait for revenge to be finally served cold. I would like to say well done, but you're not through yet. So will "you have a killer" do? :D
- Author
Ha! Thank you, UH. I'll hold you to that ;)
Waiting for Friday now! :)
- Author
Thank you, Pretty. I'm so happy that you're enjoying this story so far. I think that I'm enjoy writing this story as much as others enjoy reading it (I hope). Like I said, Friday is Part 5, so I hope I see you then ;)
hi Dohn, glad to read this part, finally it came down to what I am expecting, Haleys body, seems like I am reading through every line and just waiting for the next sentence, touching and deeply emotional, have always soft spot for children, specially little girls!
- Author
Thank you Luciendasky, for that. It's good to see you're back and hope everything is okay. I hope to see you around ;)
Hey dohn, I have been off of hubpages for a while, but I did happen to notice that you were interviewed for hubpages and I wanted to say "Congrats!" That is incredible :D
- Author
I'm glad to hear it :D
I'll wait....with bated breath!! :)
- Author
Thank you so much, Shalini! You read this all in one fell swoop! I wish Part 5 was reading for you to read, but it's still on slow-bake at the moment! It'll be ready on Friday at the latest :D
Dohn - you're one talented writer!
- Author
Hey, Charles. Thanks for commenting. I'm not sure where this work will take me, but I do already know how I will bring some closure to it! Cross your fingers!
Dohn, I read this the other day not signed in, dint comment. I forgot about it until just now. It's a great start on a good novel, good luck with it and great writing.
- Author
Hello, Flightkeeper. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I guess that I did my job as a writer if I was able to extract such an emotion! I hope you'll do the latter!
Oh this is so sad. I don't want to read the next part but I do want to read the next part.
- Author
Shame about the cable, Justine--maybe you should look into getting a digital tuner, as they are pretty affordable and don't have a monthly cost. You know, if I had to choose, I'd take internet over TV too. Yes, I'll send it to you ASAP. Go Yankees!!!
Thank you!! I would really like to read the interview.
PS Go Yankees!! I saw the news this am and was soooo excited! (I dont have cable)
- Author
Hello, Linda. Thank you for the wonderful comment. I don't spend time on anything that I don't care about and so I care a great deal about my Revenge, Inc. series. I'm going to make a push to see to it that the series does go forward and that I complete it or bring some closure to the story entire. I guess I do have some sort of cyber-library right here at HubPages (loved that comment!). So long as people such as yourself keep visiting, it will stay open! Thank you, Linda. I hope to hear from you again soon.
Hey, Justine. Thank you for the comment. I'm not sure why you didn't receive your weekly update, but I can send you my interview to you so you can view it. I'm glad that you enjoyed the Watchmen and hope that you will someday find the opportunity to read it as well (I'd recommend that you just buy the graphic novel, by the way. You won't regret it). Halloween was fun!
Greetings, HT! Yeah, it's gonna be tough for the Phillies to make a comeback (well, damn-near impossible). Cliff Lee just plain scares me tonight, but if you look at the Phillies dugout after A-Rod hit that double last night, they looked emotionally drained. Tonight, if the Yankees can get a two-run lead early (up until the 5th inning) we will win! Talk you soon, my friend. Great new avatar by the way :D
Wednesday update? I think I did something wrong with my account, as I have not gotten updates?
I hugged the kids extra, they are all sick of me now. :)
Hope you had a good halloween.
PS, I got to see Watchmen, and boy, was that ever a good movie!! Maybe someday I'll be watching Revenge,Inc. and Ill be able to say...I read the original sotry!!
Hi Dohn. This is exactly the genre that I read, and it is more than comparable. In a well written story, like this one, the reader, can pick up any installment (without first reading the previous ones) and be completely at ease with the characters because they are so well developed, as is the plot. I didn't have to read the other installments (although, believe me, I will) in order to know this character, or that of Felix. If I could find a way to read my computer in bed like a book, I wouldn't have to single-handedly support the local Barnes and Noble anymore. You've practically got your own bookstore here! Anyway, great story.
- Author
Wow, twalker74. Thank you for the compliment. That's certainly an idea. I did originally imagine Marak as a comic book hero, yet I wanted others to take the work (including of course his character) seriously--many people don't, unfortunately, especially intellectuals.
I thought about employing the help of Cris A a number of times (I had no idea that you knew him, by the way). I also have a friend who I lost touch with that's an amazing artist (he drew me a conceptualized book cover for one of my short stories which I have framed--The Absence of Aurora). Hopefully he could help me as well.
Thank you so much for the advice, twalker74! I really appreciate your suggestions.
Okay Dohn, I think you really hit your stride with this installment. I believe you were correct in pushing the idea of comic books. Added images would do wonders and the breaks between each installment make me imagine I am desperately trying to turn pages.
Just an idea, but maybe you can employ Cris A to do some Photoshop images to go with this, just another facet that can add to an already exciting story.
- Author
Hello, Lynn. Thank for clearing that up. My origal plan was to make this into a novella. Besides, I just don't see it practical to post a full-length novel here as I want to bring closure to this story. Thank you for the comment!
I see the potential for it to go into a full novel here. Not sure how many words you are at now but there just seems to be so much you could do with this character to carry it to a full novel length.
- Author
That's wonderful to hear, keira7. I'm glad that you do! There's definitely more to come!
Hi Dohn, I am really enjoying the instalements please keep them coming. Thanks my friend.
- Author
Yes, I certainly hope so, Lynne. Thanks for taking my up on my suggestion. When you asked me if I think its gonna end in a novella length, did you mean that it might be too short or too long? LOL Just wondering. Thanks for reading.
Hey dohn you are doing great. I read all the way through the installments. You sure this is gonna end in a novella length? Good going.
- Author
Thanks for reading it, Lady_E. I'm glad that you liked it. It's good to hear from you again!
Interesting Read - Just had to dig out my Kleenex box - bit of a sad ending. Make it happy again Dohn. lol. Thanks.
- Author
Hey, Paradise7. Yes, unfortunately, Haley did have to die in order to create an impetus for Cody to become Marak. As far as the next installment goes, it'll be ready in a few days, as I'm working on editing/rewriting my novel (please be patient). Thank you so much for reading. I hope more readers will join in.
Dohn, this is a real cliff-hanger. Everybody's GOT to read the next installment. Still, did you have to kill Haley? I didn't expect that, not really, and now am in shock. That poor girl. His OWN DAUGHTER!!! Please write quick. We have to find out what happens next.
- Author
Thank you so much for that, Kartika. I went back and fixed those typos. I hope I didn't leave any rocks go unturned. Thanks for the vote of confidence. More to come!
Thanks, Juneaukid. I'm glad that I did get you hooked! That's the plan!
Thanks, Leop. I really am into this story. I'm just sorry I can't crank out more sooner, as I am up to my eyeballs in other obligations. Rest assured that I will continue forward and publish more installments as soon as possible. Thanks for the compliment!
Hey, Arthur. Thanks, bro. I'm running with this story as long as I see it fit. I'm not sure if I'm ready to make it into a novel--maybe a novella or a graphic novel. I like my main character so far and would like to do him "justice." Thank you so much for the boost.
Thank you, UK! I'll try not to let you down in oncoming chapters/serials. I have a lot of ideas in which I want to implement in this story. I just have to piece it all together. A movie??? That would be pretty amazing :D
Hahaha! Thanks, lancelonie! Time will tell :D
It gets exciting... What will happen next? Jan-ja-rannn!!!
Dohn,
I really like the detail of this. All I can say is..BRAVO!!! I can't wait to see the movie.
Dohn man I can't get enough of your writing. The pace of the story just seems perfect and the overall flow just right — you hardly see qualities like that in today's literature. I'm glad you have the story-teller talent man; it's great to finally read an actual story and not a bunch of information mashed together and labeled 'novel'.
Amazing. You really put it together, words after words. Great story. This is something you have here. Excellent story, I can't wait for more. You got my attention with your revenge Stories. You can not stop now, you have to keep going. Well done Dohn121.
You got us hooked, now! Good writing.
WOW! You got me hooked here! Just re-read for a few typos here and there - but, you are a writer and of course, those are just those little details we all have to endure! Great job! Kartika
- Author
Thanks for that Scott. That means a lot coming from you. That would be something else, wouldn't it?
This would be a great book my friend or even a movie. You have a real talent.
- Author
Hey, Dave. Thanks. I wish I could get each of the serials published sooner! I appreciate your interest in it.
Hello, myownworld. Thank you for the compliment! I'll be sure to post just as soon as I can.
Wow, AIDY. I'm just floored by the compliment. I would like to find a really good comic book artist to make this into a graphic novel, IDK. A novella would work too...Time will tell ;) Thank you.
Yes, that was my favorite line too :D Thanks so much Justine! Please do give them a hug from me too. Happay Halloween and as far as the interview, you should've received it on Wednesday along with your weekly update from HP admin. Let me know if you didn't...
this KILLS me....as I begin to loose the strength to keep her from falling.....oh, that says so much!!!! I have 3 daughters, I need to hug them now....
great job Dohn. Oh, have a good halloween. Wher can I find this interview?
Dohn--what more can I say than just awesome. I always love how you end your stories. Tell you this Dohn--this is like 'best seller' material.
Just fyi =D
....told like the perfect story teller that u are! can't wait for the next part now. (btw. I read your interview and loved it!) keep on posting..
Wow. That is all I can say after reading all four of you Revenge, Inc. stories. I am excited to see what happens next.
75