If your child blew their $90k college fund would you use your retirement money to help?
Recently a 22 year old young lady called into a radio station looking for advice. Her grandparents had set aside a college fund of $90k for her. She's now in her senior year and has no money left. (She blames her parents for not teaching her how to budget.) She admitted to spending money to take a trip to Europe, other spring breaks, along with clothes..etc The remaining tuition bill is for $22k. She said she'd be too embarrassed to work in the cafeteria and besides (working would affect her grades). She thinks her parents should use money from their retirement account. Would you?
Oh HELL no! If she knew she had $90k for school, she could have easily divided that amount by 4, and figured out how much she had each year. She's been overspending for three years to get to zero for her final year, so this is on her. I'd tell her to get a job, apply for grants and loans, and find her own way to finance her final year, or take a year off to work and save up.
THANK YOU, you have indeed SPOKEN. AGREE with you to the multillionth degree!
Lisa, You're so right. No one's parents should have tell a grown child to divide the money by 4. Not only would I not dip into my retirement I wouldn't co-sign a loan either. In the article she said: "I know my parents can afford it." Entitled!
She is to work for the college money. That will teach her the VALUE of money which she will take with her for LIFE. Hard knocks are the BEST teacher by far!
Even if her parents can afford it, perhaps their refusal to dip into their retirement is putting their foot down, and finally teaching their entitled brat that money doesn't grow on mom and dad.
Exactly, she committed the crime so she, not her parents, must do the time. There are consequences for every action and it is time that she face up to the responsibility at hand.
I would say "Hell to the Naw!". If HP allowed that few words then that is all I would have written and I think that would have stood alone.
I would never in a million years pay for her college. If she thinks it is the parents fault that they didn't teach her about money then this is the time to give the ultimate lesson; DON'T GIVE HER ANY MORE MONEY! Make her work in a cafeteria and learn the value of money. This will be the only lesson she needs and she would remember it for the rest of her life.
My first year of college, I did awful and my parents stopped paying. They told me their money didn't go to F's. I learned to work, save, and pay for it myself. It took me a while, but I did it. I learned the value of money and I also learned how much I wanted that education. It has stuck with me ever since. I cannot even stomach the thought of paying someone to cut my grass, paint my house, or clean my pool.
"Hell to the Naw!" LOL!
I wish someone had given me $90k to go to school. There seems to be a lot of spoiled brats and entitled youth today. I'd be curious to know what her major is. The trip to Europe and spring breaks? Crazy!
So am I. This attitude is beyond ridiculous. I came from a middle class background and I feel that her attitude is brattish. My parents paid for my tuition in full for 4 years. 90K for college, I would have budgeted very wisely -monies LEFT over!
Even after I started getting good grades I still had to keep paying for the next 4 years. When my parents made a decision, they stuck by it and there were no do overs. Plus I think they liked having that extra money! lol
If anyone is to "blame" it is the primary and secondary school system itself, for "teaching to tests" instead of teaching life skills such as using a checking account, budgeting, and so forth.
Nonetheless, she should suck it up: tough love!
Mslizzy, u hit the nail on the head! For years I have been saying that more money and life skills should be taught you n secondary
My son went to a very fine and very expensive school. He had a very large and well deserved scholarship that did not cover every expense. He worked multiple jobs to pay for school. He is now a PhD with one GREAT job.
I like how she blames her parents for not teaching her how to budget. Now i'ts the parents turn to teach their daughter how to make her own money and pay for things on her own. I would burst into wild laughter if my daughter blew 90K and wanted my retirement money for college. I'd say that is some great comedy kid. You may have a future as a comedian. Their daughter needs to learn the value of money and the rewards of honest work.
As far as I'm concerned, she's little better than a thief, stealing $90K from her grandparents. And not very remorseful at that-- blaming her parents and being too good to work in a cafeteria. And now she wants her parents to raid their retirement. Stick a fork in her-- she's done. But if the parents agree to fund her lifestyle, they deserve the grief this spawn will create.
I find this situation beyond unreasonable if you ask me.
She's probably the type of child who would attempt to get her inheritance now. "Don't you want to be alive to see me enjoy it?' LOL!
Yes and there ARE stories about such and such children will do ANYTHING to get that inheritance. We ALL know what happens to such children -hmmm, Melendez brothers and Dana Ewell.
Dashing......Wow! Before I say anything ...this young lady needs a good kick in the _______! Spoiled, entitled, assuming little BRAT.
However, I'm going to back way up. We don't really KNOW how this was set up, but it doesn't sound very good.
Grandma and Grandpa should have set this $90,000 account up in the parent's name "in TRUST for the young lady." Let's face it, young adults normally graduate HS at 17 or 18. No one that young should be HANDED a huge sum of money for any reason. They cannot and should not be expected to handle it wisely.
Had the parents been in charge of portioning this money out per year and keeping track of expenses, I believe they'd have been proactive and sensible. The college education could have been easily covered and their daughter may have learned a few valuable lessons throughout the process.
The dilemma would not likely be what it is now. Since it IS an existing dilemma, caused by irresponsibility and lack of self-control and/or financial common sense.......Miss I-Me-Mine.....needs to FIND a J-O-B & pay for her final year. Period, the end.
Paula, great forthright response as usual. That spoiled brat needs a REALITY check. She needs LIFE 401 courses if you catch my drift. Life 401-an advanced k*****a*** lesson in how to navigate life. I KNOW 3 people like that-whew! Not pretty at all!
Paula, I see where you're coming from. However if it had been me I would have gotten worried each time I saw my account dwindling! This girl "assumed" her parents would bail her out. In the article she said: "I know my parents have the money."
She "assumed"....EXACTLY! Hello? Reality check! Need money? WORK.......Mom & Dad "have the $$" because they worked & saved. Now it's YOUR turn! Put on your Big Girl pants!
What is the difference between sponging off the folks and sponging off the taxpayer? The folks aren't forced to pay for an education. The taxpayer is forced to pay for another person's education. We live in a nation of spoiled brats.
While I agree with most of what everyone has said, I want to add that $90k would likely not get a person thorough four years of school these days. I'm assuming the money was meant to spend on food, living, etc. However, this is definitely something she should've realized a year ago, when more than half of the money was gone.
90K really. Most people don't have wealthy grand parents most of us just have our Uncle sam and our own money to pay our tuition. She had a lot of money, she blew it. Now she needs to get some loans, and incur debt like the rest of us unworthy peasants.
exchange Uncle Sam for our fellow citizens and you have that 100% right. Most of us work like dogs at menial jobs to pay for school. Slave for years to pay back loans. Sweat and strain to keep good grades. Whining wasn't part of the program.
This is exactly what's wrong with our much 'entitled' society . I see this a lot and only shake my head at the stupidity of Americans , especially those who never learn from such selfishness . I can never feel sorry for one who starts with everything and ends with nothing No wonder- America is in such a state of .............me-ism.
When my oldest son was 12 or 13, we were listening to a radio program about "children" returning to their parents homes in their 20's and 30's. He said, "If you are still living with your parents after you are 20, you are a loser." I told him I liked the way he was thinking.
This BRAT needs to pull up her diaper and get a job, any job, every job and pay for her own dang education. Adults are disappearing because they always have someone they can blame for their own personal failures or someone they can guilt or lobby or vote into paying for their own personal wants and excesses.
She is merely a sign of the times.
The average age that a child leaves home for the LAST time was 22, in 1980. Today it is 31. The thought alone haunts me! Teehee
Haunts you? It haunts many parents who believe that once the children are grown, they are OUT and leading their own lives independent of mommy and daddy.
Please please no.. Money planned for retirement, is for just that, retirement. Her parents must ensure they can take care of each other and eventually themselves and prepare, to the best of their abilities, to weather any storm (especially healthcare needs, as we are given no guarantees.) Retirement is a future plan, that prepares for as many hypothetical scenarios as possible, with so many different variables. Her parents have worked and saved, and they certainly don't want their children to be their retirement plan - not by choice, anyhow. The cost of that retirement money is certainly going to be expensive. Period. Student loans might be a better option. Retirement is no longer a 20 year plan, as life expectancy has increased. Both parents need to know they "will be okay" ( aka peace of mind) when their spouse passes, and they should have a plan that addresses as many scenarios as possible. It is again, a hypothetical. Social Security is no longer a guarantee, and the free health care that used to be an assumption for all seniors, is a currently a concern for everyone, at all income levels. Another concern is wether or not they are planned accordingly. I am hoping her parents are part of the 10% of Americans that have saved enough to be on track for retirement.. that is assuming to replace 59% of their pre-retirement income. I hope they are able to continue their current lifestyle until their time on earth is up, or at least be prepared for adjustments they might have to one day face-there are all kinds of risk factors that they have little, if any, control over. Her grandmother left her that money for college when her time was up, (smart!) I hope, with only one year left, she is willing to do whatever it took to achieve her degree. The world she is facing is very different than the one before her, and she will need every option available in order to survive. No matter how much they have or haven't saved, information is widely available and usually free! I urge everyone to get the information (knowledge is power) and have a good understanding of what that picture looks like for them. Please consult with a financial advisor as this is not intended to be financial advice, and for tax information, please consult your tax advisor. Because I hold financial licenses, I do need to say that this is not a solicitation, and also, that
Investments in securities and insurance products are:
NOT FDIC-INSURED/NO BANK-GUARANTEES/MAY LOSE VALUE
What a great opportunity for the parents to say that they cant afford to give her their retirement money. And explain the purpose of that $ and that there might not be any $ left (for her) when they die - so get a job, a loan, and finish school.
Obviously, if she's irresponsible enough to ask them for their retirement money, it's highly unlikely she'll be able to support them in their old age, so they need to look out for themselves!
Ana Kolomeka, Are there still a lot of adult children supporting elders? Most of the seniors in nursing homes and "assisted living" housing have adult children. Parents shouldn't count on nor expect their children to support them in this era!
I am Ana Kolomeka - yes, I know a few elderly people who live with their grown children. Some pay for the care home as well. But the elderly should still look out for themselves - this ain't the Good Old Days!
This troublesome behavior couldn't have happened for the first time, right?
The first time your child makes a mistake, help him/her out by explaining.
The second time, help him/her out but not before giving a stiff warning and also resolving the matter at a slow pace so that the child gets to understand things.
Third time, say no. That's all.
I know. It is easier said than done. But we can try to some extent.
And here, the grand parents have no option but to follow the last advice. Certainly, this individual is not going to help them in any way later on.
Welcome to reality, honey. Roll up those sleeves, swallow your pride & get moving. Your behaviors up to this point in time should give you a wakeup
call you'll end up homeless, living in the streets. GROW UP
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