How can we discuss loved ones who have died?
Has anyone had the experience of being ignored or stonewalled or otherwise inhibited from talking about a loved one who has passed away?
This is a very difficult topic. I think it's important to find one or more supportive people somewhere in your life who will let you talk about your loved one. If you don't have someone like this, I suggest finding an appropriate 12 step program, or starting short term individual therapy.
Whoever is not willing to talk about your loved one is probably going through a very difficult time themselves, and may be scared to talk about it. You cannot control what these people do, you can only control what you do. That's why I suggest you look for help where it is willing, and where it will probably be more constructive anyway.
Hope this helps,
AdamGee
I guess that after 27 years of being free to speak about my son anytime, anywhere, the loss of that freedom stings. I do attend grief meetings and have a wonderful support system. The issue really is what I percieve of as a loss of freedom to express myself. When I speak of my son all is well until the fact of his death enters. Then its over, the blinds close and the subject is changed.
I may have to accept the fact that people are simply uncomfortable in the face of death.
I remember once my granddaughter told me, at 9 years old that she was afraid to go to the cemetery because she was worried the dead may come back to life. I told her if we were so lucky to have that happen we should reach out our hands and welcome them back to the world.
Thank you for your insight.
I know what you mean. I've run into it at times, because the person in question was such a large part of my life it's hard to never, ever, mention her. There have been times when I get the blank look, as if the mere mention of her name makes someone think I'm "hanging on" to something that happened ages ago. I've been over it for ages, but it's not possible to talk about a certain period of my life without mentioning her name, because she was pretty much always involved in whatever it was I'm talking about.
In your situation in particular, you really need the people around you to understand what a big, big, unimaginable thing you're living with. Someone needs to tell whoever does that how they can best be supportive of you. Of course, in fairness to whoever they are, maybe the loss was unimaginable for them, or else maybe putting themselves in your place makes them feel like they can't offer anything to say. Maybe they hate knowing you have it to deal with, or maybe they feel if they tried to say something not being in your place would mean they would say the wrong thing.
I don't know how long it's been for you, but sincerest condolences. (Is there any way you can talk to whoever this person is and ask why s/he is uncomfortable when you mention him? Maybe it would help to get everyone's feelings about the whole "talking situation" out in the open.)
i think ppl ignore survivors who speak a little 2 much about a deceased loved 1. i limit how much i mention some 1 & have NEVER run in2 problems. i make my mentions very brief & move on from there. never had any problems. the trick is 2 not sound like we're dwelling on something. when we can do that, we have no problems
personal experience
by realtalk247 10 years ago
Have you know loved ones who died of drug overdoses? Do you have any suggestions of how to cope?When I read the news that Lamar Odom lost another friend to drug related causes, my heart went out to him. RIP, prayers to the family and friends of Jamie Sangouthai (37) and Bobby Heyward (30)....
by G. Diane Nelson Trotter 8 years ago
Why does the mention of slavery anger some people? Is it ever appropriate to mention it?There were ugly comments when Michelle Obama mentioned the irony that slaves building the white house and then her living there. Some consider it racist. Some slaves were descendants of...
by Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago
Would you be able to sleep in a bed that someone had died in?I ask this question not to be morbid but due to a story I heard from a friend of mine. Her new daughter-in-law and husband stayed over night with people they knew while travelling back from abroad. But the daughter-in-law slept on the...
by Sparklea 11 years ago
Where does it say in the Bible we will see our loved ones in Heaven?Many who have lost loved ones talk about seeing them in Heaven some day. Although I agree, I am wondering if it is specifically stated in God's Word. I've also read numerous afterlife accounts where people say they die,...
by Patricia Scott 11 years ago
Have you had end of life discussions with your loved ones?
by Krystal 13 years ago
Name the five most vital conversations to have with children.Children are growing and learning every second from the moment of birth. What are the five things every parent should discuss with their child BEFORE the age of 12 years old?
Copyright © 2025 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2025 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |