Why are women who are the oldest ones in their families are often passive aggres

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 12 years ago

   Why are women who are the oldest ones in their families are often passive aggressive in terms of
   
   expressing their OWN needs?

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2. 0

   Sunnie Dayposted 12 years ago

   Maybe as the eldest, she is often the one to take care of the younger siblings and is asked to set an example for the younger ones. She does this most of the time naturally but deep inside unknowingly, she may resent the responsibility and the burden placed upon her This may carry on into her adult life. Just my guess..

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Spot on answer.   You are so correct.   Many oldest daughters are so busy taking care of siblings that their needs are placed LAST.   This pattern continues throughout life and such women often cannot place their needs first!

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3. 61

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I think it stems from some form of mild resentment and genuine need.  We want people to know what our needs are and not have to tell them.  It isn't fair of course to expect people to read our minds but sometimes we do expect it.
   
   That old thing of - you should know what I need or want and I shouldn't have to tell you.
   
   The women care and work and nurture, and lovingly so but would also like a piece of that pie. Yet they cannot bring themselves to come out and ask for it so becoming passive aggressive about it is a way to approach that need without really admitting any vulnerability. (not good)
   
   Love your questions by the way.

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You're welcome.    Oldest daughter are constantly DOING for others.   They are ALWAYS last in terms of themselves.    As a result of this family pattern, they place themselves last and are afraid to assert themselves re: own needs!

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      duffsmomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      But what makes it manifest into passive aggressive behavior?

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   3. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Because they sublimate their own needs, they feel that to assert their own wants is akin to being selfish.   They expect that others recirprocate their duties towards them; however, when the others do not, these daughters feel neglected and act out!

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