How do you live with your significant other who has opposite political views as

1. 84

   kathleenkatposted 11 years ago

   How do you live with your significant other who has opposite political views as you?
   
   With the upcoming presidential elections, politics are very heated. If your significant other (or friend, or parent, or sibling) whom you live with has opposing political views as you, how does that affect the dynamics in your household? How do you find peace? Personally, I never bring up politics in the home.

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2. 64

   bizzymomposted 11 years ago

   This is a great question.  While I am very fortunate that my husband and I have the same political views, I have some good friends that are not.  Therefore, I guess your best bet is to forego discussing political issues at home.  Or, perhaps you could set aside a specific time so that you could both talk about your views.  Have your own debate at home; but both have to agree to speak for the allotted time and then when your "debate" is over promise to keep the political argument separate from your home life.   Good luck with this!

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   Ghostwolfeposted 11 years ago

   Very carefully, my marriage is not based on Politics and who is of what party. My marriage is based on love and the fact that my wife and myself are both very close to one another. Politics shouldn't have anything to do with you relationship, regardless of your party or who you choose to vote for. A relationship is based on trust and understanding and love not political views.

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   Windclimberposted 11 years ago

   Your question touches the tip of an iceberg!
   
   Let me answer your question and then explain my reasoning: it all depends on respect for differences.  It's the old "it's not what you say; it's how you say it."  A little humility and respect goes a long way, in the home and in politics.
   
   I've long thought that the Republican and Democrat parties are like male and female  (or I should say masculine and feminine), and we need both.  Sure, a person or society or government can survive for quite awhile with either one alone, but to be as healthy and happy as possible, you need a blend and balance of the two energies.  The couples, and the nation, that achieve this will flourish the most.  (Yes, the trick is to know which energy/method/philosophy will work best for which situation, in the short term or long term, etc.! It's complicated, to say the least!)
   
   Also, it is important to maintain an atmosphere of trust that the other(s) are operating with the best of intentions.  This helps people of different opinions to seek solutions instead of defenses or undermining assaults ("the best defense is a good offense . . .")  Blame and sarcasm are poison to both the receiver and the one who inflicts it.  Who's going to admit to an oversight, a mistake, or even a suspicion that their own methods are somewhat, somehow inadequate when they'll be damned for it?
   
   This isn't pop psychology / California crystal philosophy: this is what works.  Tolstoy wrote, "Happy families are all the same; unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way."  The first phrase is the important part: happy families, and happy nations, are all the same.  Respect and cooperation are crucial.

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      Billie Paglioloposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Respectfully, Windclimber (and by the way, I LOVE the name) respect and cooperation didn't bring anyone home from Vietnam, respect and cooperation didn't win women's right to vote, respect and cooperation didn't bring about Civil Rights.

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5. 74

   d.williamposted 11 years ago

   If you love your spouse and want this relationship to last, there is only one solution: Make a vow to NEVER EVER speak about politics in your house, especially if either of you, or both, are passionate about politics.   This is too great a divisive topic to let it spoil a loving relationship.

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6. 60

   sadaf kakarposted 11 years ago

   speaking about politics at home with your family members may cause a heated debate, but it does not mean to avert such discussions. As a matter of fact we must have a heart to listen and understand political views of others as well. The level of toleration must be adopted to understand what the other perspective is,
   as there are always 2 sides of the picture.

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   mismazdaposted 11 years ago

   I don't view them differently...every one is entitled to their views...I state what I believe and move on...we don't fall out because our veiws don't agree.

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   tsmogposted 11 years ago

   That is a Great question. I guess the premise or age old adage 'Agree to disagree' is powerful with the question proposed. I think if it were me, even though I live on my own, I would seek common ground. Then, agree to stay within those parameters. It would seem the 'What' is more powerful in the case of this question rather than the 'How.' Next, I would toss out the 'Who' since neither are a choice - they are givens at this point who the party candidates are. When too is a given, since here in the States we vote on November 6, 2012. And, with this response the 'Where' is the United States.
   
   That leaves the 'Why.' Yes, 'What' and 'Why' are of importance. The others are either givens or the power of emotion on the candidate's personality.
   
   Could agreement be discovered on the 'What' and discuss the 'Why.' Maybe that would offer a peaceful resolve. Then again I dun'no.

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   juneaukidposted 11 years ago

   Fortunately my wife and I are of the same political persuasion; however a close relative is of completely different persuasion. We have agreed to not bring up politics which works 80% of the time--the other 20% we try to politely disagree despite this person's militant and arrogant stances..

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10. 0

    Billie Paglioloposted 11 years ago

    I believe that our support for one party or another, especially in recent elections, is an indication of a world view and of our approach to problems.  I know it's more loving to say, "We agree to disagree," or "I love my partner, and poitics doesn't affect our relationship," but, for me, that would be a lie.  Therefore to have a husband who sees the world according to the "tough love - strict father" paradigm as George Lakoff, linguist at Berkeley describes the right and not from  from a "nurturing mother" point of view would be problematic for me.  It's called "politics" but what we're talking about is legislation - we're talking about laws made by our government and policies that affect every aspect of our lives whether it's determining if our sons and daughters go to war or if our cars or our freeway ramps are designed safely. And that's why it's an issue that creates just controversy.  It's important!  My 94 year old aunt recently told me during our weekly phone calls that my grandma and grandpa would dance in the kitchen and show a great deal of open affection for each other and "the only time they fought was during the elections."  I guess I'm luckier than my grandma because my husband and I, while we vary on the details, contribute to our party of choice together, put up signs together, and shout out the same things at the TV during the debates.  I feel quite blessed that we share this and hope he knows how much it means to me that we do.

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11. 0

    Garifaliaposted 11 years ago

    By mutual respect and understanding that each of us perceive things differently.

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    JThomp42posted 11 years ago

    Exactly, Never brought up. The dynamics of a relationship involve so many facets of one another's lives, Politics would just be toxic.

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    Globetrekkermelposted 11 years ago

    Never an issue as politics is not my favorite subject to talk about at the dinner table. I am apolitical by nature as I have lost faith in the integrity of any political party.

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