What are the 10 psychological, sociocultural, and psychocultural causes of some dark skinned
men being downright hostile and disrespectful towards dark skinned women while being more respectful to lighter skinned women?
Tommy Sotomayor, a blog show host, regularly denigrates dark skinned women for being unattractive. Mr. Sotomayor is quite fond of stating that lighter skinned women are the most attractive and that dark skinned women want to be them and hate themselves. Ironically, Mr. Sotomayor is dark skinned.
I certainly hope that those 'dark skinned men' are in the very very minute minority amongst all men.
Sadly, society still portrays lighter skinned people as "more attractive", as indicated in t.v. shows, theatre, and advertising in general. We know that it is not true, but when children see those things they tend to associate beauty with color and some carry those beliefs into adulthood.
I don't know if anyone can actually list 10 reasons for this phenomenon, and as long as there are those damaged people like Mr. Sotomayer with a public voice, these things will take longer to overcome as a social problem.
Although he is entitled to his personal preferences in what he finds beautiful and what he does not, no one should be 'colored' by his personal opinions.
ALL women are beautiful as individuals and should be treated as such.
This is a rather universal truth in almost every society regardless of race or socioeconomic standing.
In virtually every culture lighter skin is seen as good and darker skin is seen as bad, undesirable and less attractive.
Even in cultures where white skin would be considered abhorrent lighter skin is considered more beautiful.
For the most part this is only countered by those seeking to be PC and trying to be "above" such judgments. But if you could look into the subconscious of even these people you would most likely find they follow what seems to be human norms of being more attracted to lighter skin.
It also isn't a male / female thing. It cuts across all bounds of gender, wealth, education, etc.
As to causes? I'm sure there are some psychologists who think they have the answer. But I doubt that they really do.
I'm not familiar with Tommy Sotomayor but like everyone else he is entitled to (his) opinion. Clearly many dark skinned women have found boyfriends and husbands therefore there is a "market" for them.
Awhile back I asked a question: Is there (really) a difference between having "preferences" and being "shallow"?
If a woman doesn't want to date men shorter than her, a man doesn't want to date an overweight woman, a person refuses to date someone with less formal education or income than them, someone who refuses to date outside of their race, or even someone who is only attracted to light skinned or dark skinned women/men...etc
It really shouldn't matter unless (you're) romantically interested in that individual. They're entitled to be attracted to whomever for whatever reasons. We all are entitled to have our own "shopping list" of traits when it comes to mate selection.
Thankfully we live on a planet with over 7 billion people. Odds are in our favor there are lots of people who are into whatever "type" of person we are.
Having said that I believe women internalize men's opinions about them as well as the images they see on magazine covers. Men on the other hand whether they be light skinned, dark skinned, fit, or fat don't give a damn about that kind of stuff. We don't necessarily rely on our looks to attract women. In fact many of us have been told if you're "successful" you can have any type of woman you want. In order for women to truly be "equal" to men they need be comfortable in their own skin to stop worrying about (some) men prefer. Happy/confident people attract others.
Women also have been known to be very competitive with one another. They love to watch the "red carpet" shows before the awards to praise or slam the gowns worn by other women. Whenever there is an opportunity they jump at the chance see what a celebrity looks like without her makeup. I was dating a black woman who told me; "I wish god gave me the power to destroy interracial relationships." I wondered why she would care who (other) folks date or marry?" Odds are she was never going to meet, let alone date those guys anyway. Oftentimes it's this "competitive spirit" for male attention that leads to dark skinned women hating light skinned women or white women. Men don't worry about their skin tone when pursuing dating opportunities. No matter what not everyone is going to desire you.
I am familiar with Mr. Sotomayor's show. He mostly seems to be referring to behavior rather than appearance. I don't really understand it. I don't view dark skinned women behaving that way. My experiences with dark skinned women are positive. I find them to be just like me. If he wants to see low class behavior, he should see some of the light skinned women I know. Maybe it would open his mind. People come with in all colors with all personalities. Unfortunately, some get stereotyped, and Mr. Sotomayor is not doing them any good. Someone needs to let him know that when it comes to perpetrating stereotypes, if you are not part of the solution, you are probably part of the problem.
by Bellz23 12 months ago
Why do some dark skinned men only date light skin women?I'm a young lady and I consider my self brown skinned, but in the winters I get very light. I always find it intriguing when I'm approached by a dark skinned male who only dates lighter skin women, not only does he exclusively date the lighter...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago
Please, THIS Is Totally Getting- T-I-R-E-D!We Black women, especially those of us on the darker side of the color spectrum, have heard this inane remark repeatedly. In the documentary DARK GIRLS, women discuss how their darker complexions negatively impacted on them. One of...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 21 months ago
In American society, darker skinned Black women tend to be viewed and considered to be less attractive than the Europid beauty idea which is propogated. Dark skinned Black women in the society are "the outer" and "the lesser" by both the outer society and within our own...
by ngureco 10 months ago
I think everyone has there own preferences, You would think people prefer dark skin that's why they are out in the sun and at the tanning beds Always striving to look better, but not striving to be better people.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago
there is still the premise that lighter is better and more acceptable in American society. Lighter complected women whether Caucasian, Latina, Asian, or African-American are considered to be more beautiful than those with more ethnic features. This beauty obsession with lightness results in...
by Michael Collins aka Lakemoron 5 years ago
Does it surprise anyone that the media was looking for a dark skinned man?During the first hours after the bombing we were looking for a “dark” skin man or men when in reality it was two white men (Russians immigrants)?
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