Why do some dark skinned men only date light skin women?

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  1. Bellz23 profile image61
    Bellz23posted 13 years ago

    Why do some dark skinned men only date light skin women?

    I'm a young lady and I consider my self brown skinned, but in the winters I get very light. I always find it intriguing when I'm approached by a dark skinned male who only dates lighter skin women, not only does he exclusively date the lighter skin girls he denounces the beauty of dark skin women.(major turn off by the way) I always wish in that moment I could find a mirror. But I see this a lot , so whats wrong with our community? we are really damaged.

  2. Crest Thomas profile image60
    Crest Thomasposted 13 years ago

    A lot of brown skinnmen are attracted to dark skinn women. Statistics has said that light skinned men are attracted to dark skin women because the are very confident. While you have light skin women they are some what submissive. dark skin women have can a long way because of there skin complex. While light skin women believe that they can have any man that they want.

    Light skin men are more conceeded than dark skin men. I'ts just a rough edge to the dark skinn man and Yes it is attractive............................

  3. GoGranny profile image61
    GoGrannyposted 13 years ago

    I feel you Bellz23. I read that this often happens because these men think a light-skinned woman is as close to a white woman that they can comfortably get. The roots to this is believed to date back to post slavery days. Dark skinned men who dislike dark skinned women have superiority complexes, they are ashamed of these women and only denounce them to cover up the fact that they are actually ashamed of themselves.

    1. nelson-coy7 profile image60
      nelson-coy7posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      You are right on point. This inferiority started with our ancestors in slavery times. There were the field and the house slaves: where the house slaves were predominately light-skinned and the dark-skinned were out working the fields.

    2. realtalk247 profile image76
      realtalk247posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Skin tone influences perceptions of blacks, study finds
      by Craig LeMoult

      Racial bias is more related to a black person's skin tone than other features such as hair length or texture, lip fullness or nose width, according to a study by a Tufts Univer

    3. Omeva profile image58
      Omevaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Whatever happened to personal preference?

    4. littlebluefeather profile image79
      littlebluefeatherposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I second this completely, whenever I date anyone of any other race or skin color, I always ask if theyve dated within their own race. If they say no and/show any signs of disgust, trust when I say thats the last time we see each other.

  4. pan1974 profile image79
    pan1974posted 13 years ago

    Be more open minded and don't concentrate one those darker brothers that only date lighter skinned women.There are some dark skinned brothers out there that like dark skinned women to.I often have to remind myself not to say,"whats is wrong with our community',because when I say that I'm being judgmental, and when I do that I become part of the problem and not the solution.I'm not perfect and I have negatives in me,and I would like to be perceived as a person in change for the better good,as shall we also perceive our people if we want something good to come out of them.

  5. TheWatchman profile image82
    TheWatchmanposted 13 years ago

    I think alot of it is opposites attract...we seek what we dont have!

    There are also alot of stereotypes that come with having dark skin in many non first world  countries.  Some places, especially in South East Asia, view dark skin as a lower class characteristic, as it implies their family spends their days toiling in the fields.   So in their minds, having light skin is a sign of coming from a higher class!

    but in your buddys case, probably just opposites attract!

    1. Dwight Phoenix profile image72
      Dwight Phoenixposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I agree

  6. danielthorne profile image40
    danielthorneposted 13 years ago

    they like white twang...I'm white...I like dark twang as well...does that mean that I have a superiority complex...I think not...other women get jealous...and envious...how 'bout that...

    1. profile image57
      Nikkipoo1974posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      What in the world is twang?

    2. Harishprasad profile image73
      Harishprasadposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Twang is a distinct style of someone's speech, sound made when we pull  up  a string of guitar or pluck a fruit. It also means flavor, odor, trace... I think, danielthorne used a more elaborate term. Nikkipoo, this is in response to your query.

  7. profile image48
    millllllzaposted 13 years ago

    Because they want Coffee babies.

    Ily long time Bellz23  xxxxx

  8. couturepopcafe profile image60
    couturepopcafeposted 13 years ago

    Opposites attact?  There's no accounting for taste?  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?  Seriously though, I'm always attracted to brown eyes, never blue.  Although I think blue or green eyes are beautiful for the color, I am drawn to the brown eyed men.  Same with hair.  Drawn to medium dark brown or brownish blonde but never light blonde.  It's what makes the world go 'round, sweetie.  Could you imagine what would happen if we were all attracted to the same thing?  There wouldn't be enough to go around!  All this talk about the roots of slavery and superiority is baffling.  Maybe it's just a matter of taste.  At the risk of offending someone (I pray I don't) Please move on.  Stop seeing your 'brothers' as if they are doing something wrong. It sends two messages.  1) you may have a problem with darker peoples' judgement 2) you may have a problem with lighter people.  Respect the choices other people make for themselves and smile when you are the chosen one.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Im not hating on my brothers, I'm concerned about their thinking. Im just saying "why is the pot calling the kettle black".

    2. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      If majority of men & women like lighter complexion whats wrong , why should someone justify their preference , if i like white girls ie it , i don't have to justify or give any explanation , will you do the same if one like a black or brown skin?

  9. profile image56
    Magicallymysticalposted 12 years ago

    First of all let's be honest and real. We all know it has something to do with our own self esteem and how we have been taught over the years about light verses dark, even in our own families they made it known.  Number one, I think brown skinned women are gorgeous and there are lots of not so gorgeous light skinned women who think they are gorgeous because, they have been told that. Some of us go with what is more acceptable in society eyes.  It will begin to make some women feel small about themselves and yet those same women will still  try to build a dark skin brother up. I say this from watching my sister's best friend who once asked her man, "why do you treat me this way?"  he asked, "what the hell are you talking about?" She said, abusing me and telling your boys the reason you don't take me no where is because, I am ugly as hell, I heard yo whole conversation with Jay and Rod."
    He told her, Bitch you need to do something with yo hair, grow some ass and while yu at it lighten up so you can righten up." I was 14 years old when I heard this conversation. That made me pay close attention to how men, especially black men see dark skinned women. Today this woman is married to a german man with 4 children. Why was she not good enough for the black man and did she stray away from black men because they made her feel bad about being dark skinned? Well, I can tell you that she has often stated that she would never date a black man again only because she was never accepted by them because of her dark skin. This is not saying that all black men are like this but, if you ask, the majority would say they perfer light skinned women over dark skinned. Loving and accepting yourself mean so much more than someone else loving and accepting you.  We all have our preferences. Sorry but, I still don't get red hair, pink skin, brown freckles, and green eyes. But, it's called beauty to some people. These people walk with heads high feeling superior to those of us that our own people consider unattractive and embarrassing. But, we are all free to love who we want and  to love as we please. Take that and know you have choices.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yup that is true i've also witnessed the degrading of dark skin women.

    2. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      probably just a pretext to conquer a white skinned guy, i say its mutual not guys even lot of   dark females like lighter skinned guys only if they could make a good catch.

    3. Jennifer Mugrage profile image73
      Jennifer Mugrageposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting you mention red hair.  I believe that for many years (like in Jane Austen's time), being red-haired or "ginger" was considered guaranteed ugly, though blond was valued.  Bizarre?

  10. Ashantina profile image60
    Ashantinaposted 12 years ago

    Attraction? Insecurity? Arm candy? Self hate? 'Power?'

  11. gmwilliams profile image85
    gmwilliamsposted 12 years ago

    Because of the color complex prevalent in the Black American community.   Many dark skinned Black men view the light skinned woman as a goddess to be placed on a pedestal.  Many dark skinned Black men have been inundated by society that the dark-skinned Black woman is ugly and unattractive while the light-skinned Black woman is the most beautiful woman on this Earth. 

    Many dark-skinned Black men only date light-skinned Black women because they are approximate the Caucasian image.  To many dark-skinned Black men, the light-skinned Black woman represents the Caucasoid image and is as near-white as they want to date without crossing the color line. 

    Many dark-skinned Black men, especially if they are more educated, successful, and affluent, date the light-skinned Black woman because she represents class, breeding,status, and affluence while the darker-skinned Black woman approximates the image of the lower class ghetto woman.

    1. profile image49
      dcluvely03posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Unbelievable. know a darkskin woman that has two doctorates one in educational administration and another in social work. There are black women that has two masters degree but light skin women get treated better because her skintone. Lies.

  12. profile image52
    CDegrateposted 11 years ago

    I think it's unfair to assume that a couple is together because of being color struck. I am a dark skinned man and I've dated Sisters of all skin tones. The woman that I am with now happens to be light skinned. Actually she is the first very light skinned woman that I've dated. But I am with her because I have connected with her on so many REAL levels. I have never connected with anyone like this. So it's dissappointing that when we go to dinner, church, and everywhere else that we get nasty looks; lonely women think that she is just another light skinned woman that found a color struck nigga. Women have to be real with themselves and figure out why they can't find a man of any complexion to be with them. The Tyler Perry excuses are played out. Their's good brothers out here and we are looking for something REAL in whatever package it comes.

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      color is not the only consideration, but ceteris  paribus  lighter skin holds the sway most of the time, common lets admit it!!

  13. Allpeople Gifts profile image54
    Allpeople Giftsposted 11 years ago

    There is actually no such thing as a so-called "Light-Skinned
    Black" person ... but rather ... such individuals and groups
    are actually people who are of a 'Multi-Generational
    Multiracially-Mixed' (MGM-Mixed) Lineage that some may
    have been pressured or encouraged to ignore or downplay.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4160
    People of Mixed-Race lineage should NOT feel pressured to
    'identify' according to any standards other than one's own.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4157
    The legal -application of the racist-'One-Drop Rule'
    (ODR) was banned in the U.S. way back in 1967.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4162 
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/25328601 … 1891410164 
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4187 
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/25328601 … 1281410225 
    Listed below are related Links of 'the facts' of the histories
    of various Mixed-Race populations found within the U.S.:
    There is no proof that a 'color-based slave hierarchy'
    (or that 'color-based social-networks') ever existed
    as common entities -- within the continental U.S.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4154 
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4153 
    It was the 'Rule of Matriliny (ROM) -- [a.k.a. 'The Rule of Partus'
    (ROP)] -- and NOT the racist-'One-Drop Rule' (ODR) -- that was
    used to 'create more enslaved people' on the continental U.S.
    This is because the chattel-slavery system that was
    once found on the antebellum-era, continental U.S.
    was NOT "color-based" (i.e. "racial") -- but rather
    -- it was actually "mother-based" (i.e. 'matrilineal').
    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts … 0495741441
    There were many ways (and not solely the sexual assault
    and sexual exploitation of the women-of-color) in which
    'white' lineage entered the familial bloodlines of
    enslaved-people found on the continental U.S.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4238
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4239 
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4240 
    An 'Ethnic' category is NOT the
    same thing as a "Race" category:

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generatio … ssage/4236
    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts … 7016632181
    http://www.facebook.com/notes/%C2%ADall … 8451159708

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Ill read up more on MGM's. This is a good point, my nieces and nephews are bi-racial (black and white) and I always wonder how they will choose to identify themselves when they are older.(So far they call themselves black, but they are under 10y/o)

    2. Jennifer Mugrage profile image73
      Jennifer Mugrageposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I like what you have to say and I agree with it. 
      That said, almost all people who look White are "mixed-race" too.  I've got "one drop" of Native American blood in me. Plus Irish, Dutch.  So "mixed-race" does not work real great as a category.

  14. profile image51
    Ucci22posted 10 years ago

    I can totally empathize with what you're saying. I think the reason that dark-skinned men don't prefer dark-skinned women is because of the (STUPID) stereotypes that come with dating a dark skinned women (ex. ghetto, loud, etc..) those stereotypes make no sense to me at all because a ratchet woman comes in ALL shapes, colors, race, or shades. We live in a society where being "light" or "close to white" is glorified so much that people assume the only beautiful types of women are light-skinned (SO WRONG). Even in the early 1900s, being light-skinned was glorified and it came with special privaleges. Now, sad to say, the black community has turned on its own women, and has caused us to go against our OWN skin-tones! How Sad! To me, BEAUTY IS BEAUTY! It shouldn't matter if it's light, dark, brown, caramel, or any other color. If you're pretty you're pretty. Dark-skinned women are beautiful! YES, it sounds biased because I am a dark-skinned young woman and I LOVE THE BEAUTIFUL, BLACK SKIN I'M IN. If more women realize that, it will give us the power to love ourselves and not care about what any ignorant man, or woman has to say. Period!

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      when it comes to beauty, love etc its the heart that rules no amount of logic or reasoning can change that. next question will be why men prefer beautiful women and not ugly ladies? common lets accept  facts and move on!!

  15. Cardisa profile image89
    Cardisaposted 10 years ago

    The standard of beauty set in our society greatly contributes to how we choose partners. I want to make it clear that this doesn't only happen to colored men. Koreans also have a set standard of beauty which includes pale skin as more beautiful.

    Black society in the western world started off as being seen as ugly or slaves. The transition from slavery to acceptance started with the cross bred children who were given lighter work or taken in as adopted kids.

    Further transition into acceptance were beauty pageants where only lighter skinned people were allowed to enter. The standard of beauty set in these societies implies that light skin, skinny, long haired woman are ideal representations of what beauty is.
    Further to this we see lighter skinned colored women given better privileges and opportunities. I live in Jamaica and when I was a child there were hardly any dark or chocolate brown complexion women working in banks or high offices.

    This has led to skin bleaching as women with chocolate brown and mahogany toned complexion feel that less opportunities are given to them, or that they do not meet the general standard which applies to beauty.

    To add insult to injury, many songs have been sung about the lighter shade of the black woman. If you are Jamaican you know what a "browning" is. Browning in Jamaica applies to the lighter skin tone which is just a few shades darker than the white woman's.

    I could go on and on to try and explain it but black men who were brought up in such society as I have explained will feel that the "browning' is more beautiful than the darker shade.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I have heard these songs, lol  "cake soap"  is ridiculous, but on that note most hip hop and some dancehall songs glorify the light skin woman. We still have that slave mentality.

  16. DDE profile image42
    DDEposted 10 years ago

    People who think or fell that way are damaged dating only light skinned women is a thing of the past they should wake up see that color has no  boundary in love or any other form. They must be still living the past.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You will be surprised how many African Americans still have this mentality.

  17. jaydawg808 profile image81
    jaydawg808posted 10 years ago

    Maybe it's just due to preference?  Maybe some races and ethnicities prefer the same or maybe they prefer to mix it up outside of the race.  Everyone is different.  What attracts you to one, may not be the same for another.

  18. igniter8503 profile image38
    igniter8503posted 10 years ago

    this funny because I ask my best friend that question too. He is dark skin and is married to light skinned girl. He told me because most dark skin girls have a lot of strength. They are set in their ways and don't take any bull crap. A man likes to fell like he is in control not get ran over. So hope fully this helps you out?

    1. profile image52
      CDegrateposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      1. I seriously doubt he said that. 2. No man equates strength with complexion. 3. Weak men want weak women, strong men want strong women, but NO MAN wants constant unneccessary conflict. 4. Attitude and strength are not one in the same.

  19. MarieAlana1 profile image68
    MarieAlana1posted 10 years ago

    Just like some men are attracted to other men and some women are attracted to other women, some black men are attracted to other races. Attraction is something that one can not change. You are made the way you are made. The same is true with attraction. Yes, sociological factors can contribute to this, but a person is there to be themselves. You might not be attracted to a light skinned male, but dark skinned males are great! You are attracted to who you are attracted to. The same is true with them.

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Attraction is mutual you need two hands to clap, if black marries a white it happens only when vice versa is also true probably white ladies find black attractive too!! so blame the white lady and not the poor black guy!!

  20. profile image57
    Pix Hatterposted 9 years ago

    I think males from other communities like these females! They have their own type of beauty. So, these ladies should make relations with them. That is happening in many communities these days.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I've noticed this as well. I really think black women in general need to try more interracial dating.

  21. Harishprasad profile image73
    Harishprasadposted 9 years ago

    I think such persons lack self esteem and that is why they despise the dark color and prefer the fair one. I am hundred percent convinced that if a person ,whether a man or woman , is having a well-shaped body, it does not make any difference if he/she is dark or fair; everyone will be attracted towards her/him. So, only beauty matters and not color.

    1. profile image52
      CDegrateposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This whole discussion has gotten corny period. Women have to stop making excuses for why they can't get ANY man to stay with them. It's not prison, downlow, white, or light skin; it's YOU. You attract what you are. Most men marry character over color

    2. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      common, don't say most men marry character history doesn't prove it, All classic love stories talk about beauty hardly anyone falling for noble characters

    3. profile image52
      CDegrateposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Spock, you said "love stories". Of course "love stories" are about beauty and glamour. But most men in the real world don't have some trophy wife. Men find a woman that they are attracted to for whatever reasons.

  22. edhan profile image38
    edhanposted 9 years ago

    I believe it is a matter of liking instead of the color of the skin. I had chased many different types of girls during my younger days. It is the attraction I had that made me chased the girl I wanted.

  23. profile image52
    tbHistorianposted 9 years ago

    color blindness - it happens to all honorable and righteous people.

  24. Dviews profile image60
    Dviewsposted 9 years ago

    I do not think anyone can accurately answer for all the dark skinned men in the world, so I would be wise in saying, there are some dark skinned men who do prefer light skin women as there are some light skinned men who prefer dark skin women as well.
    Love is a beautiful thing when it's with someone who brings out the best in you, be it dark skinned or light skinned that should be what matters and the choice belongs to the two people involve.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      respectable answer.

    2. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      agreed, so stop imputing reasons or be judgmental if most men/women prefer lighter skinned partner than them-self, and normally men having bigger clout they land up getting lighter skinned partner.

  25. C.V.Rajan profile image59
    C.V.Rajanposted 9 years ago

    I think, tracing back history (black people coming in as slaves), white is equated to upper class and black to lower class, psychologically. White women would not have shown any liking or respect to black men those days. Times changed; black people too rose up in society. But deep rooted feeling of class differences still remain. If a black man (=" lower class") can woo and date with  a white woman (="upper class"), it means he feels a sense of achievement, assurance and pride that he has raised up in status.

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      rather i think dark skin is associated with field work , manual labor as anyone exposed to long period in sun gets darker shade!! and hence socially lower status at least sub consciously

    2. Dwight Phoenix profile image72
      Dwight Phoenixposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I disagree

  26. JRScarbrough profile image78
    JRScarbroughposted 9 years ago

    Maybe it is different for every guy. I’ve known guys like this. I think it is sometimes just a matter of what they envision as attractive. They are attracted to lighter skin.

    Other times, it might be bigotry. Just because two people have the same race , don’t always mean they can’t be bigoted toward their own race. An example of that is done quit well in Boys In The Hood with the black cop who just wanted to hurt black men. Well, I believe some people in the white race want light skinned black lovers or dark skinned black lovers or don’t like white lovers with dark hair. It’s always something that is an attraction issue and maybe stems from something deeper I don’t know.

    I don’t know all the motivations but I’d have to answer it probably differs with each individual doing it.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It could just be what they are attracted to, thats true.I have a bi-racial family(nieces,nephews, cousins, my dad,grand parents ect..) I have no problems with preference and love has no color. It Just sounds weird to me hating on your own skin color.

  27. violetheaven profile image60
    violetheavenposted 9 years ago

    We each can't help what we are sexually attracted to.  For these men, they only think with that kind of brain.  I personally see the beauty in every skin color and tone.  Some of the most beautiful ladies I have seen are very dark skinned.
    Some of this light skinned=more beautiful garnishment of true beauty has stemmed from the racism of world culture. 
    No one knows for sure where or why it started. But world politics and culture is to blame.  One theory is that those British and other white invaders who overtook land and countries from darker skinned people, put themselves in a higher position and station over the natives and it is only natural to strive for a higher station for ones self and your descendants.  You can look to the politics and social economical situation in South Africa as one of many examples. Even in India, where the majority of the people are darker complexioned, it is more liked and considered beautiful to have lighter skin. 

    I don't agree with the stigma of skin tone.  I think it is absolute nonsense. But until people start waking up and seeing that their preferences over something like skintone are vain, we will still live in a world where, this thing that doesn't matter, does.

    1. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your answer.

    2. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Like in everything when you have a choice  preferences bound to be there, you cant be judgmental and say don't look at color look only wealth, or eyes, or education etc   everything is discriminatory in someone else eyes!!

  28. profile image50
    ReymundoExcavaposted 9 years ago

    I am a black man who is generally considered light skinned in our community.  My wifes complexion is dark-cocoa.  Colorism in our community was introduced by a white supremacist society who deemed all people of color to be unworthy of love indeed ugly.  The Eurocentric form of beauty has been drilled into us for hundreds of years. Not only in the United States but in all countries wherein the European has conquered.  Psychologically that effects how a person views themselves internally and how these deep seated feelings of inferiority manifest themselves in our choices..i.e...light skin is beautiful, dark skin is ugly. Most of us in the community suffer from these things but are generally wholly unaware.  So when that black man chooses a lighter skinned female he is acting on some level of;  if not self hatred certainly a revulsion of himself.  He certainly can't love himself to the total degree capable if he doesn't view his own dark skin as something attractive. My dark skinned sisters suffer as well because they have been told over and over that their dark skin is ugly, inferior, not beautiful.  These things effect us in very deep ways.  In short it's mental slavery; until that man is truly free of that programming he will never be able to see the true beauty of his own black woman nor himself.   I have never understood how dark skin is ugly. On the contrary dark skinned black women are extremely beautiful and attractive; this coming from a man who has meditated and searched his soul to throw off those chains of self loathing imposed by 400 years of oppression in every area of human relation from that day to this. FIGHT THE POWER!..."and I mean that."

    1. violetheaven profile image60
      violetheavenposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree to a certain degree,its important to note that not every black man who chooses to be with lighter skinned female hates their self or skin color. Sometimes they are genuinely in love, for any/every reason other than skin color.

    2. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yes it can be love. Its obviously not ALL black mens thinking, but  its enough to be concerned about how we view each other. Its not about liking light skin women/men its about the "denouncing" part. My last comment explains more about what I meant.

    3. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Why say some times they are genuinely in love, most  marriages are out of love you cant blame  man if he falls in love with a lighter skin same way you wont blame a women if she marries lighter skin man!! someone or other bound to be lighter !!

  29. Laura Schneider profile image85
    Laura Schneiderposted 9 years ago

    Prejudice, self-righteousness, bigotry, stupidity... They're everywhere, unfortunately. Personally, I've always loved the way that dark skin shines in the sun so I think for anyone to turn away from a dark-skinned person is a moron in the first place: they don't see beauty right in front of them. I've always had pale, pale skin, so any color is fascinating and beautiful to my eyes.

    Try to forget the stupidity of those who would turn away from you for any reason and remember that you are beautiful and perfect just as you are, inside AND out! Smile your prettiest smile as you're thinking this and you will come away the winner of your own personal contest for self-respect.

    What's wrong with our community? You asked. Lack of respect for each other. (Hopefully "our community" means people of all colors and shades, shapes, heights, weights, abilities, etc.)

    1. Harishprasad profile image73
      Harishprasadposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Laura, I love your words and great insight reflected in them. This is the only way to appreciate and revel in existence of all beings living in this beautiful planet.

    2. Bellz23 profile image61
      Bellz23posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Laura your amazing, and inspiring. Moving forward Ill try and think more positive like you. Thanks

    3. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Great words!! sound great but lets face the reality, unless we banish all adjectives from our language and refer everything in neutral terms  and make this a dull place accept and move on I say!!

  30. profile image57
    spock28posted 9 years ago

    Its not just males even females given an option prefer light skinned men, and its universal 
    I don't know whether we have proclivity towards light skin / white skin (sic)  genetically / sociology / physiology   etc.Most phrases and idioms in English or other languages are pontificating the fair skin  - evil, demons, etc are always represented in dark colors while  good,gods messengers, prophets  etc are always represented in fairer colors. May be, its because the fair skinned had colonized other parts of the world, the subjugated were attracted to the rulers color and their language. I dont know the reason but its a universal fact, and is better accepted as one of the foibles of human being than find any reason or prove to be n exception , ( exception just prove the rule that majority believes fair is more desirable trait to have.).

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      add to that , look at internet terminology white list and black list, always black gets the negative connotation!!
      Though scientifically its proved dark skin is better and less prone to skin cancer and sunburns due to dark pigmentation of the skin.

  31. Bellz23 profile image61
    Bellz23posted 9 years ago

    Thanks for the answers. Some of your comments are inspiring and some of you just dont get it, and I GET that you don't GET it (lol). Why am I concerned about this? I am part of a community (African-Americans), I am concerned about this community, and I am responsible for it. Im searching for answers for the evident problems I see in this community in an effort to stop it, or avoid it. Dont assume I'm insecure, I hate the black man (if I did I wouldn't care, and I'm talking to my dark skin fellas not ALL black men), Im single, just DON'T assume. Its not about me its about "the pot calling the kettle black". Its about the majority of blue eyed people hating and "calling ugly" other blue eye people (Does that sound right to you NO!,would you call this person insecure?). Well this is what I mean by dark skin men hating dark skin women.

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      true its the pot calling the kettle black, the pot is neutral gender neither man or women ,!!  can i say yo have been discriminatory in liking only some comments and its not reasonable no its ludicrous in life we make choice its discriminatory

  32. cebutouristspot profile image73
    cebutouristspotposted 9 years ago

    I think its different for every guy.  You cant blame him if he find light skinned girl attractive.  Its a personal preference and you should not be judgmental about it.

    1. realtalk247 profile image76
      realtalk247posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Mental conditioning to be "turned off" by the physical features is a psychological conditioning disorder and can not be seen as just a "preference."  It's a major issue if you are dark skinned and disregard people that  mirror your features.

    2. cebutouristspot profile image73
      cebutouristspotposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well am brown skin and I find brown skin women more beautiful than white or blacks (no offense intented)

      But then again there are white/black skin women who are beautiful e.g. (Kate Beckinsale/ Halle Berry)

  33. SatendraSaini profile image45
    SatendraSainiposted 9 years ago

    Actually the main reason behind this is some different and also very simple. As some not all persons tries to take something new daily similarly such kind of people because of their habit do so.

  34. tehgyb profile image82
    tehgybposted 9 years ago

    The media has a HUGE effect on what the populace believe is beautiful. The media unfortunately portrays lighter or more medium skin tones are beautiful, casting out the dark skinned populace.

  35. shanice whitter profile image70
    shanice whitterposted 9 years ago

    If that is the case then usually this man wants light skinned kids.It can also be as a result of the need for upward mobility in society.Unfortunately,in some color prejudice country.This is the case.

  36. profile image49
    Aurora32posted 9 years ago

    Ok, maybe I'm 4 years late but this is an interesting question. First off I consider my race to be black but technically my genetic makeup is black and white. With that said, I am fairly light. Now my opinion is this: there are not enough positive images of black women in American or any media as far as I can see. Light women are equally discraced in the media as darker women. Our darker skinned children should not have their self-esteemed challenged by a racist/apartheid mentality prevalent in America. Lighter skinned children should under no circumstances be treated better because they look closer to the white class that has behaved in the most corrupt, evil and vile ways throughout history. The idea that lighter is better is simply idiotic and this the message that blacks and whites perpetuate in the media and those stupid hip hop and rap videos where 90% of the women on them have white/mixed race features.  If a man chooses his dates by using the paper bag test... RUN AWAY. Get you a man who is not brainwashed to dislike beautiful dark skin. I married a black man and my daughter is a lovely dark tan. I surround her as much as possible with positive images and she never questions her value or worth.

    1. realtalk247 profile image76
      realtalk247posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      "The idea that lighter is better is idiotic. stupid hip hop & rap videos where 90% of the women on them have white/mixed race."  True, I've seen men pay rent make supreme efforts but discount darker skinned women based on appearance alone. It's s

  37. profile image50
    Janet Rosemaryposted 9 years ago

    Men of all races will like you if if have clear soft skin (regardless of color) are fairly thin, sweet and smart and have big ****, but a flat one can be hot too if the body is still good.

    If you fit this criteria,  time to start fishing in other waters.

  38. Atul Dahiya profile image75
    Atul Dahiyaposted 9 years ago

    Well, I guess it is just a matter of personal choice and preferences. I am from India and most of the Indians are attracted to whites or light skinned Indians, be it a male or a female. I believe it is about the beliefs and the environment that the person has been brought up in. But then there are exceptions as well. I know people who have a thing for dark skinned girls.

  39. baybpnk profile image70
    baybpnkposted 9 years ago

    I never thought it was only relevant to dark skinned males, just that it depended on the guys preference. Some guys only like Asian girls, kind of like that. I suppose I am not in the darker skinned community (if that is what you mean by referring to "our community") so I may not know. I just always thought it was a preference, to whomever. Like, for example, Adam Levine (Maroon 5) seems to only date Victorias Secret models. Real deep, Adam.

  40. JesseH profile image60
    JesseHposted 9 years ago

    More than anything, I think it comes down to a matter of preference. I happen to love women of all shapes and colors, some people don't. It may also be perpetuated by the media, a lot of hip hop music talks about white girls.

  41. profile image57
    nutritionalcouponposted 9 years ago

    i don't know why he date with light skin women.

  42. Glow Pebbles profile image61
    Glow Pebblesposted 9 years ago

    This school of thought is not indigenous to black people (although it is prevalent) and you will find that any nation which has a variation of skin tone that can be categorised into 'light' or 'dark' will show a negative distinction in how darker skinned people are perceived by others.

    PS. I am the same complexion as you and have also encounter the mentality of which you speak. 

    I also believe (as many have said before me) that the perpetual bombardment of the image the media portrays as the idealism of black female beauty is by European standards, which means that black males growing up in society of popular culture aspire to have a woman of colour (or not) whom doesn't necessarily reflect the women whom have nurtured or been part of their social circles.

    This is a subject I find very interesting and have previously posed the question 'What type of girls do you like?' to black males aged between 13-16  and they answered 'light skinned, mixed raced and white girls.'  I also asked a group of boys from all races aged between 14-15 'Do you feel that the media's portrayal of women put pressure on what type of woman you think you should aspire to?', and across all races was a resounding yes.

    In conclusion I feel that the black community needs to teach their young that they are not their skin or hair but unfortunately the deep rooted indoctrination of the Willy Lynch letter is alive and kicking and is still affecting many black people today.

  43. Josh Makaveli profile image40
    Josh Makaveliposted 9 years ago

    It make be a reason of self hate or they are being jealous and want to own something they don't have

  44. ChrisJSlater profile image55
    ChrisJSlaterposted 9 years ago

    Wow, such a deep question and much deeper answers, maybe we should call on Dr. Freud? Lol, I see it as a bit like sitting down to a chicken dinner, you like dry white meat, I like rich, dark meat, but together we can still enjoy the chicken. Did you ever hear of:
        Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
        His wife could eat no lean.
        And so between them both, you see,
        They licked the platter clean.
    As for me, I believe God made all peoples, sounds, flavours, colours, scents, sizes, shapes AND personalities so we won't get bored in this world waiting for His return. Would you take it personally if I said I like banana, strawberry and vanilla, but not chocolate? It's not a rejection of you, I'm simply wired that way by my genetics, upbringing, preferences and experiences. There is nothing wrong with your community. You are NOT really damaged except that you believe you are. I love all races, I'm as white as it gets, a redheaded, blue eyed Caucasian, born in the Northern Hemisphere who loves swimming in warm summer lakes. But as a younger, more foolish youth I've had some terrible sunburn experiences. I've tried many flavours and can honestly say that what doesn't kill you, strengthens you. Never mind those "rejections", go look for someone who builds you up instead of worrying about changing "everyone" and praise God, there is someone for everyone. Your miracle is on it's way. Go get your heart's desire girl!

    1. profile image57
      nutritionalcouponposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sir you are absolutely right , I understand !

  45. KysEyes profile image61
    KysEyesposted 9 years ago

    I am not sure, I suppose I am in the same boat just a little the revers. I am probably as white as you can get but I've never been attracted to any light features...I don't know why its just the way I am. When I was a little girl I wanted to dye my Irish red hair to black because I found darker features stunning and just out right gorgeous. The only people I have ever dated are people that are several pigments darker than myself, I look at people with darker skin like walking pieces of art. My husband is Spanish and he gets lighter and darker depending on how much sun he gets but he always retains that beautiful mocha color, and he has those deep brown eyes and dark hair.
    I am sure that it's only something like that for darker men but opposite how I feel. It honestly isn't something that can be helped. But there are many people who cherish and look for some of the same features in themselves like dark skin or light skin, blond hair, brown eyes, black hair, blue eyes. It just depends on what attracts that certain person. Believe me, no one is trying to make any community 'worse' by pursuing one kind of person or another. They just recognize what they want, whatever it may be, and going for it because that will make them happy.

    I hope that helps...even a little.

  46. Joseph Gerringer profile image58
    Joseph Gerringerposted 9 years ago

    Simple. Men are attracted to who they are attracted to. There is not really any science or logic to it. I used to be in love with a black girl and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. But God proved otherwise to me that He had someone else in mind. Now I am happily married to a young white girl and cannot imagine being with anyone else. And we have a gorgeous one year old daughter. Simply put, many women are beautiful no matter what their color; but it is once men (real men that is) get to know the woman and her heart that he falls for the rest of her. If he is following God, his heart will follow after what God has entailed for him.

  47. lostohanababy profile image57
    lostohanababyposted 9 years ago

    I've seen couples like this, dark with light!  Maybe the 'darker' man hopes to have lighter children, someday, or already have !  That's a sensitive question to answer.  I'm not black or dark, but my skin coloring is 'honey'.  A few Asian girls, have similar personal preferences, like to date a 'white' guy or a 'lighter skin Asian guy'.  You may find that to be more than you know.

  48. profile image52
    Alicia Verdeposted 9 years ago

    For me its the old "opposites attract" that happens. I'm hispanic but I'm fair skinned. When I walk by strangers its always the hispanic men who look. In my head I'm saying 'if you knew my heritage, you wouldn't want me' and I know it.

  49. Ritesh Alola profile image54
    Ritesh Alolaposted 9 years ago

    its simple.....you also like men who are fair in their skin tone...and they do so

  50. padmendra profile image50
    padmendraposted 9 years ago

    If a black skinned man prefers dating a lighter skin woman, it makes an indication that he feels lighter skin women are more beautiful and cute. They also think the kids, they will be having will come out as lighter skin and the perception of feeling the black skinned person as ugly would make an end to this perception.


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