Do you think a name and shame website of school bullies - would be a good idea or not ?
Should school bullies be made to pay for what they did later in life or not ?
Why? Kids aren’t treated as adults in most situations (nor should they be) so why hand out a punishment that will still affect them as an adult?
I was bullied by one person in junior high. Mercilessly. To this day I still have no idea why he chose me to harass but it’s been 14 years and I’m long over it. I think it was terrible what he did to me but I’m sure (or at least I hope) he’s a much different person now. I know I am. Holding onto that grudge for decades and wanting him to continue suffering for it makes me no better than he was, in my opinion, and what’s my excuse as a grown-ass woman?
Everyone today believes that some part of society outside of good parenting itself is more accountable than they are . Parents blame the schools , the teachers , the law ,the juvie system ,the prison system ,guns , gangs , ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES .
It all begins at home ."Name and shame " would just become one more way to false blame . There's too much "free range " parenting in America . Control your kids and thus control the negative elements of our culture .
Parents live in America, the land of the Free.
They need a good reason for setting boundaries.
There is an art and science to the setting of boundaries, but based on what?
No, I don't. I was bullied as a child, but I wouldn't want to disgrace people now. They are probably not the same people they were when we were kids.
I also tend to think something like that would be too easily misused by people just wanting to embarrass and/or falsely disgrace people they disagree with or just don't like. And that kind of misuse of a website is, in itself, a form of bullying.
So I guess from your comment, you are saying they should not have to pay for the harm they once inflicted on others.
I'm saying that petty revenge is petty revenge, no matter how it is carried out. And any ADULT that supports putting a child's photo, identity and/or personal info on the internet for others to see has some serious issues. So exactly how old are you?
I can't see what good that would do. People change when they grow up. What would you have---"So and So bullied me in 1994." Sounds pointless and stupid like those "Rate A Teacher " or "Don't Date Him" websites.
You asked two very different questions. Your title question first. No I think a website would be a horrible, immature, just as bad as the bully thing to do. A friendly reminder that school age children are typically minors.
Secondly "Should school bullies be made to pay for what they did later in life or not ?" No because again, at the time of their bullying they were a minor. They should be punished by their parents when they are bullying, but the problem is the parents likely created the bully. Minors can't vote, join the army, buy porn, buy cigs, buy alcohol, play the lottery, or be held liable for a contract because they aren't mature enough to handle any of those things. Therefore we should treat their punishments like they are children. We can't pick and choose what makes them minors and what doesn't. If they aren't mature enough to buy a lottery ticket or see a naked person they sure shouldn't be treated as an adult when they misbehave.
Someone still caught up on who bullied them as a child, so much that they would put them on a website years later, has something wrong with them and should seek help. Bullying is wrong, don't get me wrong, but we grow up and move on. That's life.
No...with all due respect I think it's a bit ridiculous. Kids do stuff they shouldn't. A bully is not a rapist or killer. That would be a bit extreme. I was bullied and did some bullying myself. It's part of growing up.
To be honest, I think this whole bullying issue is a bit blown out of proportion. Let me first say that I do not support bullying, so don't take this the wrong way. But I feel like we a raising a society of wimps who will be totally unprepared for reality. People aren't always nice to you when you get older either. Learning to stand up for yourself and not run and tell on them right away is part of how we build self esteem. It's important to learn to fight back..whether it's a physical or verbal assault.
I understand that kids today go and commit suicide or enter a state of depression because they're picked on. But kids have always been bullies and done cruel things. Perhaps that's because we've spent so much time today talking to them about why people aren't allowed to do this or that to you...but not enough time teaching them to fight back.
My kids have been taught that if someone put their hands on you physically and tries to hurt you...that you punch them right in the nose. As long as they didn't raise their hands first they will never get in trouble when they get home, even if the school suspends them...they should defend themselves. When I was a kid in NYC public schools I learned quick that being a tattle tail would just get you another beating. If you fought back...the bully would leave you alone because they look for people that don't fight back.
I personally think that kids today are coddled way too much. And then when they have to stand up for themselves, too many of them don't know how to. I have a neighbor who is a wonderful person. But she teaches her kids that if another kids attacks you, then you should curl up in a ball to protect yourself. I find that to be insanity. How can you expect a kid to have any self confidence unless they learn to stand up for themselves without running to an authority figure all the time.
When I was in HS we moved from one neighborhood to another. 3 kids on the bus picked a fight with me in front of my house after school. My Dad saw what was going on and came out. He told them if you want to fight my son...than you have to fight him one at a time. And I did. I was scared. But when it was over...they knew for sure they were just in a fight. Today they'd arrest my Dad
As a high school teacher, bullying can be hard to define sometimes. A lot of the bullying takes place away from school. Online bullying has really increased. I definitely think your question should be answered no. It is a very tough issue to deal with.
I don't want to sound revengeful, but if those bullies have knowingly harassed people (which they usually do), my avenger conscience says that they need to be taken to task. Ok, I get it that they were young and foolish then, but who's to check that they have actually changed after growing up?
If they have indeed changed, then the people close to them will anyway find the difference between the website's story and their present character and will appreciate them for the change and maturity.
If they haven't changed and only use more subtle and polished form of bullying in their adult lives, then yes, such tormentors should be exposed for the devils they really are! Your idea of a shame website is unique and interesting
If an adult labels a minor as a bully in social media and an attack on that "bully" follows, the opportunity to sue all parties on behalf of the "bully" would bring every member of the plaintiffs bar within a 100 miles.
I think it is not a good idea.Bullying is a part of growing up in the part of our children.For me, we can prevent bullying by constantly communicating to our children, what happens to them in school or anyplace so they will not hide any instances on their parents and teaching them how to handle if someone is bullying them.Some times even teachers cannot protect them in school so it is the parents responsibility to teach their children how to cope with this kind of problem.
Who defines a bully? What criteria is established or is it done by anyone who decides that they have been bullied? Answer these questions. All value is in the details. To directly answer your question, no. We have bullies because our children are being taught not to fight back for a variety of insane reasons. I am 70+ years old and there were bullies when I was in school, nothing new here. Back in the old days a bully did not last long due to the fact that we were not taught to be victims.
Bullies need to be dealt with realistically. Shaming them on-line is not a good consequence. It could add to the urge for revenge. (They could even band together. !)
What is the root of their problem?
They need therapy ...
and usually the whole family needs therapy.
They must learn the golden rule.
They must be encouraged to follow it.
Left unchecked, bullies can become tyrants and the tyrant is the loneliest of people.
Therefore, they really need to be shunned and ignored, if they do not change their ways.
Who likes being friendless?
Q. Will loneliness lead to gun violence?
A. Not usually, unless pharmaceutical substances are involved.
Do you know the seventies rebellion (Music, dress, attitude) is very big with school children?
They wear T-shirts depicting Pink Floyd, The Who, Hendrix, etc. Their hair is hippie style, long and natural.
Sadly, many over eat junk food (I assume) and are quite plump. They are mostly very aware and very intelligent. They are very patient and compliant with teachers. They can be very squirrely, lacking impulse control and they enjoy joking around, making their school mates laugh. Many love art. They like to make pictures of rainbows with the word "Love."
You would never know or consider that the influence of the Seventies is so pervasive.
Bullying is the result of the education system which is archaic, women teachers who are literally bitchy and parents who don't understand what their kids are going through, as Bowie mentioned.
Boundaries are for the purpose of keeping one in touch with one's true self, the soul.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago
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