Should Perceived Bullies be Bullied/Mobbed? Can Bullying be stopped?

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   ThunderKeysposted 13 years ago

   In this recent Huffington Post article Anthropologist Janice Harper argues that there is lots to learn by exploring the differences between bullying and mobbing. 
   
   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janice-ha … 73916.html
   
   1)Is it ever Ok to bully/Mob a perceived bully?
   
   2)Is there any real difference between bullying and mobbing or between child bullying and organizational/community mobbing/bullying?
   
   3) Can bullying/mobbing be stopped? If so how? If not, why not?

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Two wrongs never make anything right.
      Bullying is done on an individual level and mobbing is not one on one.
      Through consciously active awareness of one's ego. This would have to be taught to children when old enough to understand.

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         ThunderKeysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I agree, 2 wrongs never make anything right.
         
         Yet there seems to be lots of popular "consciousness about bullying/mobbing but it seems to be getting worse. Did you see the Anderson Cooper Show, where most kids were assessed as "bullies" by their peers? what about adult bullying/mobbing? Can these be stopped? How can kids be stopped if not adults and adult organizations?

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            Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I'm not doubting it getting worse.
            Aggression can be misconstrued/perceived inaccurately due to many factors.
            This happens due to poor parenting in previous years.
            Sure, but it would require adults to learn how to see beyond themselves. Much of bullying, as I said is based on ego, which is unchecked.
            Kids can be stopped by having stronger parents who have an understanding of life. Those who don't have an understanding of life will not have the ability to prevent their children from growing up to become adult bullies.
            
            As for adult organizations? Well, adult organizations should be kept in check by authorities and consciously active citizens.

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               ThunderKeysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I really appreciate your responses in this thread. Did you have a chance to read the the short article link I posted at the beginning?

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                  Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  I checked the article you posted.
                  
                  The difference between "schoolyard" bullies and "workplace" bullies are simple. One's an authority issue and the other is not. Both are based on ego.
                  
                  Workplace bullying is one abusing the authority of their position.
                  
                  Schoolyard bullying is one just being abusive because they can.

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                     couturepopcafeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Seems like there's no real difference.  Workplace bullies who abuse there authority are doing it because they can.
                     
                     Both have issues.  I believe, in an ideal society, that the edification circle model works well.  Place the bully in the middle of the circle and surround him/her with peers and loved ones.  Each person making up the circle must tell the bully something they love or remember that is good about him or something good he did to influence their life.  (If they don't have anything, they are not to be in the circle).
                     
                     BTW, Cags, welcome back.  Hope you liked my model lineup in the "We miss you Cagsil" forum.

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      BullyReformposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      1. It's never ok nor is benefical to fighting bullying by becoming a bully. The only thing this does is perpetuates an already disgracful act.
      
      2. Mobbing (or ganging up on someone) is worse than an individual bullying, there is power in numbers. Children bullies vs. Childs mob is much different, where an individual bully is easier to deal with and their are other people that child may still turn to. When a Child is "mobbed" then there are less places/people to turn to. This can make a child feel even more disassociated and withdrawn. Now when you compare that to organizational/community mobbing/bullying I'm guessing that you mean adult type social/societal issues such as political type issues. Childhood issues will almost always outweigh that of adulthood issues because our coping skills differ greatly.
      
      3. Bullying has to be engaged at the source and is not always a  situation. Each occurance of bullying has it's own indivdual meaning. It can and most of the time, especially in children, has to do with insecurities and/or inferiority issues. If these infraction in a person personality are addressed properly, then yes bullying can be overcame.

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         BullyReformposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         always a quoting Cagsil "based on ego" situation

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   Stacie Lposted 13 years ago

   Bullies need help ;not more aggression. They feel insecure or may be getting bullied at home.
   As Cags said, two wrongs don't make a right

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   ThunderKeysposted 13 years ago

   Ok, but can bullying be stopped? If so how, with children and with adults?

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      With children? It would require parents to be informed and non-egotistical while teaching children what "character of a person" truly means.
      
      As for adults? I'm not sure it can be changed because it's bred into them through influences and environment. Don't get me wrong, people can change and some do, but many simply don't have the will power it requires.
      
      Educated children over time will make it go away, but that's about it.

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         ThunderKeysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I guess it's even more difficult to teach children if their parents engage in this behavior.
         
         I guess it's human nature. For example, a major factor in bullying by older kids and in mobbing is to create and circulate false rumors. When people hear the rumors (designed to push their buttons) they react as though the rumors were true.  The otherwise nicest people can be motivated to participate.

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   SpanStarposted 13 years ago

   mobbing defined:
   
   of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a lawless, irrational, disorderly, or riotous crowd: mob rule; mob instincts.
   
   I disagree with this statement:
   
   "failure to adequately distinguish between school bullying and workplace bullying."
   
   I get so tire of people tying up as many things as they can in semantics.
   
   Bullying is bullying and mobbing is just another form of bullying.
   
   The same techniques used in school to bully are the same ones used on the job in the neighborhood- to try and scare, frighten or intimidate others.
   
   I'm not sure if bullying can be stopped because it's usually happens shall I say in the dark or rather hidden.
   
   I do know that it can be greatly reduced if the bully understands that the people around them aren't going to sit back and just let it happen.
   
   Bullies function in enviroments where they have the upper hand so basically when they don't have the advantage they're cowards.

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      ThunderKeysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Have you looked at the Mobbing research?

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         SpanStarposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I present one of the definition of mobbing the approach is the same for bullying why would more research change what's already defiined?

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            ThunderKeysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I guess I'm looking for practical suggestions about how these can be stopped. For example, you suggest that when enough people aren't going to let it happen, bulling and mobbing will stop. What I'm asking is how do we get from point A to point B? What are the practical steps? What does your suggestion look like in real life? How can it be applied?

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               SpanStarposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Point A
               Publicly empower people to have the resources to report, address and deal with the issues of bullying.  People should not have to accept that reporting these kinds of actions makes them a RAT as used by crimminals to keep people from telling the truth.
               
               Point B
               Outline the steps for what actions will be taken-(serve enough to make a difference) when discovered these practices are taking place-Everyone should know so there is no excuse as to "I Didn't Know That."
               
               Optional-Reward those who do the right thing and back them up should someone want to retaliate for having been informed on.

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                  ThunderKeysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Thank you Span Star. Very clear.
                  
                  I've seen this kind of clear cut solution suggested in some of the articles I've read. I just wonder why the problem persists and appears to be getting worse.

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   alexsaez1983posted 13 years ago

   While I agree that two wrongs don't make a right, bullies don't understand anything but violence. You want a bully to stop harassing you? Punch him in the face, slam him into a wall, shove him down a flight of stairs. Whatever course you take, it'll scare him from ever touching you again. Having teachers (who rarely take action until it's too late) lecture a kid about being "bad" won't stop a bully. All the suspensions or detentions in the world won't change a bully's behavior. While it's tragic when a bullying victim kills his tormentor, I have no sympathy for the neglectful parents of the bully. In my opinion, any consequences a bully receives -- including his own death -- is his fault and his fault alone.

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      ThunderKeysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You say his death. What about female bullies and mobbings?
      
      What about when innocent people are targeted based on false information?
      
      Please read the article I linked to at the beginning of this thread.

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         geordmcposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Kick the f#^ker in the nuts and then kick him in the face on his way down. He'll never want to bully you again!

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   Cassie Smithposted 13 years ago

   When it comes to bullying, I really think that it is up to the school to remove the bully from the environment.  Bullies are very confident and they know how to read people and know who they can bully.  Adults have to show the kids who are watching that bullying behavior is not to be tolerated.  I was watching some documentary about kids growing up in Japan and how they learn to socialize.  There was one little boy that was aggressive; took toys from other kids and was physical.  What the teacher did was to ignore and isolate him.  The kid was not asked to participate in any games.  The other kids took their cue from the teacher.  The little bully manned up and played by himself for awhile but it got boring and he got lonely.  The teacher and the kids accepted him only after he learned to play nice.

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