How would you react to receiving a random Christmas card from a prison inmate several states away?
We received a Christmas card from a prison inmate. The address is from a prison that is hundreds of miles away. I am torn between being touched that we received this card and creeped out that some stranger who is in prison has my address and name. What do you think? Creepy, so I ignore it....or curious, so I reply? I am the parent of a Law Enforcement Officer which lends to an unusual point of view. Does that matter in your point of view.
The person may have known or knows you child who is in law enforcement. I know a person that I write to often as he was a friend of mine many states far from me. I knew him before he went to prison though. Many are still people. It is up to you and do find out how he knows you. It may be just a kind jesture of Merry Christmas.
To see what it is really like in prison from a prisoners point of view I have several hubs that my friend who is in prison has asked me to post for them: http://ladyguinevere.hubpages.com/hub/M … troduction
I appreciate your response, however, please do not use your comment to post a link to your hubs. Please edit. I do not know this person and believe he needs to make amends with his victim, their family, and his family. I am none of these.
I think you better ask your child about him, and do some research. While it may just be a nice gesture, it could also be a cryptic message or something to either your child or you. I don't mean to freak you out of anything, but I am really paranoid and trust no one---I've seen HBO's series "Oz," which is a show about inmates in prison, their relationships to each other and to the families on the outside. At least look up stuff about him for your own knowledge. I know inmates are people, but to trust someone you don't know in prison? Creepy.
I let both my sons know...it turns out it was my older son's wife's brother, one she only recently learned about. You are right though, it's not paranoia...it's just smart. I will not be making contact. I will leave that to her and my son, a Marine.
This would creep me out! I've known several criminals (before and after incarceration). All of them have a "Poor Me" story about how they were wronged, not loved enough as a kid, set-up, etc. Even if it is actually true (and often, it isn't), there is a huge difference in the way they think, reason, and emote.
See, we ALL have sad stories, have been wronged, made mistakes, etc. The difference with these folks is that they don't take responsibility for their actions ...
Where you and I would think about the consequences and who might be hurt (ie. morals, values, human decency) - they don't. They think about how they will benefit, if they can get away with it, what their story is if they don't, etc.
Where you and I would say, "Wow. That was the wrong choice!" - they don't. They're busy being "hurt" and angry, even though they did wrong. They see themselves as the victim, even as they are hurting you! They will tell you how the person they robbed/raped/killed/etc. did them wrong, deserved what they got, or brought it upon themselves. They will try to garner sympathy and play up how bad they have, how badly they're being treated because of what happened, etc.
Where you and I would ask, "How can I fix this?" and "How do I avoid making this mistake again?" - They. Do. Not .... ever. They will do it again in a heartbeat if they think they can get away with it.
When a prisoner reaches out like this, it is another act of inappropriately crossing boundaries. It's a clear sign that they don't care how the other person (YOU) feels, otherwise, they would contact someone who WANTS contact. This person is fishing for someone to suck into their sob story; some one they can use (eg. for money, comfort items, personal contact, a place to stay when they get out, etc.).
I've seen this several times and it upsets me - a LOT. People stop thinking about the victims and the fact that these criminals are not taking responsibility for their actions. Spending time against their will in a prison that has better internet, food, education, libraries, work out equipment, and health care than I have is NOT paying a debt to society. Taking responsibility would spring from their understanding that they really DID do the wrong thing and their desire to fix it. That, is very, VERY rare and those folks do NOT make unwanted contact.
Personally, I would contact the prison, tell them that you received unwanted contact, and that you don't want it to happen again.
WOW..pretty much how I was feeling! Learned this fella is a newly discovered sibling to my daughter-in-law! The card had a "Wishing your family a Happy Holiday!" and signature. I am very pro-consequence. My son was not pleased, no more cards here!
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