How to make someone listens to a full explanation without interrupting?
Why won't they shut up for awhile and try to listen?
I'm sure glad you, as a young person, asked this question. I thought I it was the fact that I'm getting old that everyone interrupts me BUT when I sit back and just listen to my daughter, her boyfirend, and her friends - I notice they ALL talk over each other! It's a new social phenomenon. What you notice is not a reflection of you, but a reflection of the "non-listener". I see that you're new to hubpages, so talk away here, people will listen I'm not on the "welcoming committee" and there isn't one to my knowledge, but I'll just give you a warm welcome. t's nice to see a beautiful face like yours here. Sometimes we just have to look at the world and laugh at it. There is a lot of stupidity around us, but there is a lot of greatness - warm-hearted people, teachers, people here who have a great deal of wisdom. Maybe you could write a hub for ALL of us as to how to be an "active listener". (I could subtly pass it on to my daughter! Even if there is an article like that already here, a new perspective is always good.
If it is a guy then you lose him after 3_5 minutes.if it is a girl,she will try to fix something that is wrong and won't stop talking til its fixed.
You can't make someone listen to a full explanation.
In fact more often than not even if a person is silent they're not listening but rather (they're waiting for their turn) to talk.
If someone doesn't like what they're hearing they start formulating their own arguments as to why they are right and you are wrong.
Truth be told if someone asks you "Why?" more often than not it's a rhetorical question. They're not seeking an "understanding" of some kind. It's generally a "reflex question" to which they've already made up their mind that (there is no reason or excuse you could give them) that would "justify" your actions.
It becomes a dance exercise to make you sweat. Oftentimes you're better off to ask them why they are asking why? "Are you REALLY looking for clarification or seeking to understand?" or "Have you already made up your mind there is nothing I could say that would cause you to empathize with me or my decision?"
By asking (them) why they asked why can save you a lot of time and frustration.
If for example you cheated on me and in my mind cheating is a "deal breaker" then my asking you "why?" and your answer is not going to change my decision. Therefore my putting you through that dance serves nothing but to give me something to tell others your "excuse"
Writing is a long lost art but sometimes if a person gets an email or hand written letter without having a way to immediately contact the person they will take the time to read the whole thing. With time it may sink in causing empathy.
Nevertheless there are some caveats though.
A written letter/email cannot reflect the tone or inflection of a voice. People also have a habit of sometimes zeroing in on "sections" that upset them instead of balancing it within everything that was said.
Unfortunately it can easily be shared with people you may not have intended for it to be read by. This could cause one embarrassment.
Last but not least not everyone has the skill to write a letter or email that does not come off as defensive, angry, or blaming someone.
One has to know what their goal is. Are they looking to be heard or change someone's mind. You also have to show some empathy by stating you understand why they may feel a certain way about it (before) you offer your explanation.
Active listening is a skill many of us don't have. Obviously you want to explain (or teach) something to somebody who is not an auditory learner. Try visuals if you can. Are you late because of car trouble? Show him/her the problem. Are you trying to explain finances? Show receipts and pay stubs. Are you out of uniform because of a wardrobe malfuntion? Well, maybe visuals are not always appropriate!
You could also try to make the "listener" step in your shoes. "What do you think I SHOULD have done?" "What would you do?" "What do YOU think that means?"
You could also use comparisons and metaphors the "listener" can relate to, especially when giving directions. "Two blocks past the baby store...." " Twist it like you twist the top off of a Pepsi bottle". This can encourage him/her to listen. Or add a little humor. "She was two beers shy of a six-pack". Just get creative.
I like the idea of a hub on improving listening skills. I would read it.
I like the part 'try to make listener step in your shoes.' Short and precise that would have explained everything. But really there should be also another way to make he/she do the action itself. Depending on his/her intention on resolving smthg.
The why depends on the person, however, if you know them and that they will not listen it might be a good idea to ask them up front if they will listen to what you have to say. Get a commitment from them, then if they interrupt you can kindly remind them that they said they would listen.
If the person is someone you interact with regularly and this is used as an excuse for you to just ramble on, though, the other person will quickly catch on to that and become irritated, maybe even really angry. The solution is to be sure you have thought through what you want to say, say it succinctly, and be ready to answer questions when you are finished.
Sometimes being nice doesn't cut it with someone who is consistently doing this. I find when this happens I put my hand up with my palm facing them, indicating for them to stop. I will say, "please don't interrupt" or " I haven't finished yet", or with a firmer voice, "IF you let me finish". Then I will carry on with what I am saying even if they have started.
Sometimes, just to show them how rude it is, I will do this to them when they begin to talk. This will be followed with, "now you know how it feels."
This is childish but it drives the point home to them. I feel it is a habit with some people and it should be changed. It is very rude and what is worse, sometimes people who do this are people who are close to us. They may show a courtesy to a stranger but not to someone close to them. I think it goes beyond bad manners, I believe it is a form of oppression where they expect their opinion to be accepted without question.
Everyone deserves the right to be heard.
Just relax and narrate the way you like but be polite and take care of the opponents sentiments. If your narration is good and there is chance of "after narration conversation" than that person might not interrupt you.
by Patricia Scott 15 months ago
Is it important to you to listen to the opinion of others, even when you disagree?Often we have discussions with others on 'hot topics', on which there may be much disagreement. Is it possible for you to respectfully listen and allow that person to share their viewpoint?
by selene383 7 years ago
Does God really listen?When we pray or simply talk to him, does he listen? Does he really hear and listen to what we are saying?
by joyraynemiller 7 years ago
What will you do when nobody listens to you?There are times we feel insecure and embarrass when we are talking yet nobody bothers to listen. have you experienced the same way to? If you do, how you managed that situation?
by salu7864 6 years ago
It just seemed so wrong that no one had responded to a thread about conversing with others. So I would like to say, those are all fine points and will actually be quite helpful for those uncomfortable in social settings. That was kind of you to go to the effort.
by deanjc1970 8 years ago
Please give me as much feedback as possible thankyou
by Annie 5 years ago
How do you comfort a friend who is depressed?I often quote verses from the bible to him/her. "For you are my lamp, O Lord.the Lord shall enlighten my darkness, -2 Samuel 22:29
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