What is it that makes one a popular conversationalist?

1. 79

   MarieLBposted 6 years ago

   What is it that makes one a popular conversationalist?
   
   What is it that makes those who know you enjoy a good conversation with you, regardless of the subject matter?

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2. 96

   lions44posted 6 years ago

   Even if you're the one doing all the talking,  show you care. Know your audience. That is how you stay interesting to others.  What is their mood?  Whether it's one person or many.  A good conversationalist has great instincts and insight. some of it is just natural but I believe you can learn a lot of those things, just takes a lot of work.
   
   I have to interview people for work all the time, and they key to getting someone to talk is making them feel comfortable.  The same is true with friends; it's very subtle. You might not even you're doing it.

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   1. 79

      MarieLBposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Aha.  .how wise and insightful. Thanks.You are so right CJ. I learnt a lot from watching my boss gives interview. Those people would have left had a pleasant chat with this guy. They would have had no clue about how much he'd learnt from that chat.

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3. 81

   alancaster149posted 6 years ago

   You can take one of several routes.
   First there's the 'talk about what everybody else is talking about', i.e. the latest fashion, what's in the news, whose backside will fit in the chair in a. The Oval Office, b. the centre chair in the Cabinet Room in no.10, (or c. the First Secretary's chair in the Kremlin, but I don't think that would grab anyone's attention in the corner cafe), maybe the tickets you just managed to get by the skin of your teeth to the Stones' exhibition on the King's Road (SW1) or your new stilettos. Down that road you stand a good chance of being seen as an 'air-head' or bimbo.
   Or, secondly, you could steer the conversation to your husband's career in the advertising world. That's another dead end. Sorry.
   That leaves you with, thirdly, say little, listen to what everybody else has said and blow them out of the water with a really deep, meaningful phrase you learned from the Yogi Maharishi.
   Or why not just say what's on your mind and put some passion into it?

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   1. 79

      MarieLBposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Alan, I knew I was in for a treat when you answered.  Here I am grinning from ear to ear while reading your argument for your point of view.  Proof that I would enjoy conversing with and/or listening to your conversation!  Thank you

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4. 79

   MarieLBposted 6 years ago

   Thank you both CJ Kelly and Alan R Lancaster for your input.  Your replies have been thorough and insightful, and that adds to us, the readers' store of knowledge.

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