This NEVERENDING Issue

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   gmwilliamsposted 5 years ago

   
   There are some Blacks, particularly sociopolitical pundits, who staunchly contend that Blacks should receive monetary reparations for slavery.  There are sociopolitical pundits among them who maintain that the Democratic Party currently is being very evasive regarding the subject.  They are suggesting that Blacks should never vote for or even support the Democratic Party until the issue of reparations is addressed in a straightforward manner & that reparations are given.  They believe that Blacks won't be equal socioeconomically to Caucasians & other non-Black groups until reparations are given.  Your thoughts?

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      MizBejabbersposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Give them reparations (again) and they'll never be satisfied. They'll just keep wanting more and more. They were given reparations after the Civil War. Remember the "40 acres and a mule?" That may sound trivial today, but it was a lot back then. It was more than most white people in the North or South had.
      I don't feel responsible for the lifestyles of the people 150 to 200 years ago, and to make myself and the people living today pay for their mistakes is discrimination against us. It's just an election ploy that comes up ever four years. Just like reparations for Native Americans who, unlike former slaves, have never been paid them.

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      1. 85

         gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for starting the discussion.  The issue of reparations is a controversial topic.   I feel that reparations is a moot issue.   Yes, I am a Black woman.  I contend that there are Black people who love to complain.  Well, instead of complaining-make life better by making more intelligent life choices.  Get an education for a career.  Don't have a poverty/struggle mentality.  Don't have children before one is ESTABLISHED financially, economically, & psychologically.   If the FEP principle was followed, poverty would be drastically decreased, if not eliminated in the United States.

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         1. 94

            MizBejabbersposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you, Grace. There is one thing that I don't understand, and maybe you can explain it to me. I have had a lot of Black coworkers, neighbors and FRIENDS. I value their friendship. We've had long discussions on most subjects, but this is one that I've never broached with them. It seems that in my area of the country, having a baby out of wedlock at or before the age of 18 seems to be a badge of honor to them. Why? I had some very nice neighbors next door who lived there for about five years and watched their three children grow. After they moved away, the couple came back to visit us. She was carrying a baby in her arms. She said very proudly "this is Felicity's baby (her daughter who had turned 18."
            
            I admired the baby, a cute little girl, and congratulated my former neighbor on her first grandchild. A few years later, I was employed in a very large department of state government. I noticed that this was also a trend among young educated Black women to have babies by age 18 (not so among older ones who married first). I just want to understand why this is a badge of honor among millennials and younger Gens. The educated women could afford to support their babies and they did, but the poor women could not and depend on government handouts. It is this trend that we find Democrats supporting today. Can we not somehow reverse this trend and educate these women to be responsible parents by waiting to have children until they become self-supporting?
            
            Please educate me as to what this trend means to younger Black women. Or is this trend just localized to my area of the South?

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               gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

               It is the demoralization of culture.  In my day, having a child without a husband would be considered disgraceful, particularly among the middle classes.   In the lower classes, it was normal to have children outside of marriage- lower class Black girls did this on a regular basis.  Middle class girls would never have babies before marriage.  If they did, parents would pay for abortions.   
               
               I see the trend regarding irresponsible reproduction among lower class Black girls. I don't see the trend among middle & upper middle class Black girls.  They are busy concentrating on college & careers.  If they have sex, they use contraception & if they get pregnant, they have abortions.  Lower class Black girls have nothing to look forward to in life & use sex as an escape from their hellish life.  Most lower class Black girls eschew birth control.  As a result of their negativistic mindset, they have children irresponsibly.  There is no thought about the ramifications of their actions on the children.   I don't see educated Black women having children in the fashion you mentioned.  Educated Black women usually wait to have children until they are married, in committed relationships, & have established themselves career-wise.  My cousin & I discussed that one should have children when one is in his/her 30s-when careers are established & one has the maturity to care for them- also one must be married or in a committed relationship.
               
               It is the lower class who have children early.  That is part of the lower class mindset.   The only people I have observed who have children early( in the 20s or even teens) are the lower class & less educated/uneducated because they have no hope for the future.   
               
               Also with lower class culture is large family culture.  Girls in large families are surrounded by babies in one form or another.  They were taught by their mothers that the only things for women is marriage & motherhood.  Girls from large families tend to have children early; there are some who have children without marriage because they weren't taught about contraception by their mothers.  Many girls from large families have babies because that is the only way they will receive love. 
               
               In middle class culture, girls have more future options.  Girls in the middle class are taught that education is important & having children seriously & negatively impact future educational opportunities.   I would like to add that with middle class culture, comes small families.  Girls in small families are treated more equally than girls in large families who are treated as second class citizens because of their gender. Girls in small families are taught the importance of education & career as opposed to girls in large families who aren't taught the importance of education & career but are reared to be wives & mothers, nothing more.
               
               In order to curtail the epidemic of illegitimacy in the lower class Black community, people have to taught the importance of having positive options.  People who have more positive options are less likely to indulge in negative/destructive options.

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                  MizBejabbersposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                  Thank you, Grace. For a number of years, I worked among career women of all ages and races, and I did find that these young Black career women were having babies out of wedlock. I wonder if it's a southern thing? One temporary employee was in law school, which made her about 22 or 23 years old (unmarried). She was still grieving a miscarriage she'd had two years before. Her family was middle class, but I don't know if it was a two-parent family. One administrative assistant I became good friends with was a divorcee with a daughter in college. I met the girl, a very lovely young lady. Just before I retired, she became pregnant. Her mother was so excited that she was becoming a grandmother at age 50. She took early retirement, probably so she could care for her grandson while her daughter finishes her education and starts a career. She is so proud of her little grandson. She has never mentioned the baby's father, and I'd never push our friendship by asking. It is like the southern black culture is embracing fatherless families among all classes. These were only a couple of examples. This is why I was asking.

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                     gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                     I probably surmise that these girls came from one parent homes where there is a pattern of having children without husbands.  In two parent households, middle class Blacks don't have illegitimate children.  It isn't so much as a Southern phenomena but a one parent household phenomena.  Girls who grow up in one parent households are more likely to repeat the same pattern.   
                     
                     In middle class Black households where there are both parents, having children outside of marriage is frowned upon.  Middle class parents would push the girl to have an abortion, knowing that having a child will ruin her educational & career chances.   I don't know any Black middle class mother in a two parent household stating that she & her husband will raise the child- oh NO NO.

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