It's difficult to take protest from the left seriously considering a good portion of their protestors are paid.
"Liberal protesters making noise commensurate with paychecks
Republican lawmakers across the country have grown wary of holding town hall meetings with constituents.
What's scaring these brave public servants? Paid protesters.
Specifically, paid liberal protesters. (It's a well-known fact that all conservative protesters are volunteer and have legitimate gripes that must be heard.)
Most in the FAKE NEWS media will claim there's no such thing as a paid liberal protester. They'll say people are simply turning out to express frustration over GOP policies and because they don't want to lose their health care and die.
But I'm here to tell you otherwise: Paid liberal protesters totally exist; it's an excellent career choice with surprisingly good benefits; and each protester earns $1,500 a week.
I know that last fact thanks to Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association. During last week's Conservative Political Action Conference (it's like Burning Man for people who believe Burning Men should only be allowed to marry Burning Women), LaPierre railed against “full-time” liberal protesters, saying they earn “$1,500 a week.”
He said: “All share one thing in common: They're angry, they're militant and they're willing to engage in criminal acts to get what they want.”
(That's three things in common, but who's counting.)
LaPierre, who earns a measly $1 million a year not caring about gun violence, is clearly upset that a long-haired leftist protester can earn $78,000 a year just for yelling and waving a stupid sign.
Sounds far-fetched, given that such a salary would be more than $20,000 over the median household income in the United States. But I'm telling you, it's the truth.
How do I know? Well, for starters, I read about it on paidliberalprotester.com, a website that I definitely did not create using $1.17 funneled to me via a vast network of leftist organizations funded by billionaire George Soros.
That website clearly says of paid liberal protesting: “It's a thing. And it pays BIG BUCKS!” It even quotes me saying: “A great career choice.” And I would never lie to me.
More important than the online evidence is my personal testimony as a man who has built a successful paid protesting career. (Please don't tell my employer, the Chicago Tribune, about this activity as it is forbidden by our ethics policy and would undoubtedly lead to my immediate dismissal. Your discretion is appreciated.)
I won't bore you with the full text of my Paid Liberal Protester Employment Contract, but here are some key excerpts:
“The initial job title of the Employee will be the following: Paid Liberal Protester. The initial job duties the Employee will be expected to perform will be the following: Be angry. Be militant. Engage in criminal acts to get what Employer wants. Cause Republican lawmakers to rush into ‘safe spaces' and fear people they used to dismissively refer to as ‘sensitive snowflakes.'”
“Compensation paid to the Employee for the services rendered by the Employee as required by this Agreement will include a wage at a rate of $1,500 per week.”
“The Employee's primary place of work will be at the following location: Any space where Republican lawmakers are attempting to hold a meeting with ‘Constituents.' Employee shall be a ‘Constituent' of said lawmaker, but won't count because ‘Employee' is a Paid Liberal Protester, as detailed in ‘Job Title and Description' and as announced by frightened lawmaker.”
“The Employee will be entitled to the following benefits: Retirement Savings Plan in which all Employer wealth is evenly redistributed to ‘the workers,' aka ‘Employees'; free marijuana; two round-trip flights per-year aboard private jets owned by Employer (George Soros); annual subscription to ‘Rhyming Liberal Protest Chants Digest'; comprehensive health insurance plan (no dental); and free tuition to qualifying Liberal Indoctrination Centers (aka ‘universities').”
“Employer shall not discriminate against any Employee as long as said Employee is one of the following: an anarchist, a Marxist, a communist or a member in good standing of the left-wing Socialist brigade.”
While most people become paid liberal protesters either for the money or the free marijuana, I've found the best benefit is the power that comes with the job.
Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Cowardville, said Sunday that he won't take part in any town hall meetings because “liberal activists” will “heckle and scream at me.”
Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Scaredytown, said in a statement that he won't do town hall meetings for now: “Unfortunately, at this time there are groups from the more violent strains of the leftist ideology, some even being paid, who are preying on public town halls to wreak havoc and threaten public safety.”
(Worth noting, I recently had “Havoc Wreaker” tattooed on my forehead.)
Even Illinois Rep. Randy Hultgren, R-Dontyellatme, has said he prefers to meet with constituents in small groups because some liberal protesters are “following a well-publicized ‘playbook' on how best to disrupt and prevent a civil dialogue.” That's correct. The playbook is distributed with the employee manual and the black ski mask employees are required to wear while vandalizing.
See what I mean about power? All that and a cushy retirement plan.
Now that's what I call a career.
It's also what I call democracy.
https://digitaledition.chicagotribune.c … 685f3aa362
This is satire....Rex Huppke is a liberal columnist who frequently uses satire...
Yes. How long before this becomes common knowledge? Also, how long before those who fund the violence are prosecuted?
The problem with people on the right who don't have violent protests that last for week is most people on the right have jobs and work for living.
I guess, in a way, protesters do have a job and are working for a living.
The phantom liberal paid protester? Have you folks ever come up with any shred of evidence?
Here is a great Op-ed, Trump’s parade flop will have him throwing ketchup all over the White House, and kick DUI Pete in the bum…..
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/ … 223316007/
Lol, yes! The low turnout has forced MAGA to go to great lengths to spin a clear flop as a success. Trump wanted badly for this to be a grand, raucous, March on Washington-level event and it just wasn’t even close.
There is a company called "Crowds on Demand" that pays people to protest. It is one of many such companies.
This is one of the services they provide.
PROTESTS • RALLIES • ADVOCACY
Whether your organization is lobbying to gain approval of a project, move forward a legislative initiative, bring additional pressure within complex litigation or trying to see swift and effective action in another way, we can set-up protests, rallies, demonstrations, alternatives to litigation or business disputes, coordinate phone-banking initiatives and even create non-profit organizations to advance your agenda."
Here is their website.
https://crowdsondemand.com/
by Susie Lehto 7 years ago
Fox News reported the Antifa threats to deface Christopher Columbus monuments and statues across America on Monday. (2:23)* https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont … ok0WUlkvtoAntifa's Violent History Explained (4:54)* https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont …...
by Readmikenow 5 years ago
I had always believed the Intelligent, articulate mentally and emotionally stable liberal was something that could only be found in ancient folklore. It is like the mystery of Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster. You hear they exist, but you just can't find any real proof. After...
by Ralph Schwartz 7 years ago
What do Trump protesters think they'll gain now - the election is over and Trump won?Post-election riots, violence, and demonstrations are occurring in Liberal cities across the nation. Illegal immigrants waving Mexican flags are demanding unearned American rights. The media is ginning...
by Tim Mitchell 2 years ago
I read an interesting article this morning. It is from Scientific American. It boils down to one 'belief' separating Conservatives from Liberals. It is as quoted; "We find instead that the main difference between the left and right is the belief that the world is inherently hierarchical....
by Dan Harmon 3 years ago
On the news tonight were pictures of "protests" outside the homes of 6 (only 6) of the nine Supreme Court Justices. I had heard that was happening but had not seen confirmation of more than a handful of people.This is very much against federal law; protests attempting to intimidate...
by Scott Belford 6 years ago
Many people who call themselves Conservatives, IMO, aren't. Many people who Conservatives call Socialists, aren't. In studying politics, I ran across a couple of lectures which identified what the professor called minimal-state liberals (Libertarians) and active-state liberals (modern...
Copyright © 2025 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2025 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |