Someone on my local blog put this up, and I swear, at first I thought it was satire...but it's not. This is what we are up against For Real.
Sarah Palin, speaking at Goshen College, March 2,2010:
This news report reminds me of a few years ago when some self-appointed liberal newspaper editors joined up and wanted to get rid of the “Star Spangled Banner” and replace it with “America The Beautiful.” Can you believe it? They all probably went to this pinko bible college in Indiana and learned all that pacifist junk instead of American stuff like making money and getting rich like us real Americans who support the Tea Party -what college is supposed to be for.
Fortunately, that Commie do-gooder idea was shot right down, because it would be very bad for our great heritage of freedom and the American way to sing “America The Beautiful” all the time like the “Star Spangled Banner.” Ever since the last Depression, the “Star Spangled Banner” has been our national anthem, so that’s about seventy years of American heritage right there. And it’s a great song that inspires us all by saying what America is really all about.
The tune is an old drinking song from England, which makes in English right there -our official American language. And the words were written by a Washington lawyer, so it’s all perfectly legal under the Constitution, too. This beautiful song is all about American pride, fighting a war and waving the flag. So what could be more American and more Christian than that right there?
But those Eastern do-gooder editors wanted to make us sing “America The Beautiful” instead. Can you believe it? That song was written by a lady poet from some snooty liberal college in Massachusetts, and it’s all about beauty and nature and brotherhood and other airy-fairy stuff like that. What does all that fuzzy headed liberal junk have to do with our patriotic American way of life and our Christian values on which this great nation was based?
Just think if we had to sing a song like that before an important national event like the Super Bowl and so the players get all weepy and start thinking about ecology and stuff, instead of smashing each other and winning. That great American hero, Vince Lombardi, would roll over in his grave!
Like Coach Lombardi said, winning isn’t everything, it’s, like, it’s everybody’s thing or something. Marx said military music is to music what military justice is to justice -which is why we have to try the terrorists at military tribunals, and old Groucho was so right about this. So we need a patriotic fighting song like “The Star Spangled Banner” as our national anthem to keep up the troops’ morale when we fight other people halfway around the world and kill them and make them free because it’s the American way. You betcha!
Plus, just think what would happen if Congress really to all the liberal “America The Beautiful” junk about brotherhood serious and started passing laws to help the homeless bums instead of domestic spying to stop all the terrorists from Iran. What if they voted lots of tax money to clean up the environment to make it like it sounds in that song, and started to help with all those liberal renewable energy scams instead of spending it to fight wars like in Iraq to kill the enemies of freedom and help out the good Christian American patriots in companies like Halliburton, Blackwater and Exxon Mobil?
So you can see what a real threat it would be to our American way of life if people stopped singing songs like “The Star Spangled Banner” that get right to the point about what America is all about, with the rockets and bombs and, most important of all, the flag. So it’s good to see that those Mennonistic folks at Goshen College finally woke up to smell the coffee here and now they get it about how important it is to play the national anthem before every baseball game, because we really got to keep singing about Old Glory and making war so people will forget about all that liberal brotherhood and ecology junk.
-Sarah
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