Potential Race Between Black Guy and Mormon Poses Dilemma for Bigots
Doomsday Scenario, Haters Say
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – A looming presidential race between a black guy and a Mormon is creating a major quandary for America’s bigots, a new poll reveals.
According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, a broad majority of likely bigot voters “strongly agreed” with the statement, “If it winds up being between a black guy and a Mormon I don’t know what I’ll do because I don’t know which I hate more.”
Tea Party activist Eldin Brazelton of Oak Park, Illinois, expressed a frustration typical of the bigots surveyed: “We’ve spent the last three years stirring up anger towards a black guy, and that’s all going to go to waste if we just up and nominate a Mormon.”
COMMENT: Before the general election GOPers will may have to choose between a black man (Herman Cain) and a Mormon Cult member (Romney). Tough choice for bigots!
According to Mr. Brazleton, a presidential choice between President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney would be no choice at all: “For the life of me I don’t know why we can’t just have a regular President.”
Mr. Brazleton, who considers himself a sexist as well as a bigot, said that the doomsday scenario unfolding for 2012 offered one small silver lining: “At least we know it’s not going to be a woman this time.”
Elsewhere, in response to the ongoing Occupy Wall Street protests in lower Manhattan, banking giant Goldman Sachs announced today that it was investing in pepper-spray futures.
**** DON’T MISS OUT: For a limited time, click here to pre-order Andy Borowitz’s critically acclaimed new book and save 46% ****
Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox for free here.
COMMENT: Before the 2012 election GOPers will have another tough choice--between another black man, Herman Cain and a member of the Mormon "Cult." Tough choice!
First of all, Brazelton doesn't sound like a Tea Party activist, what with his brazen claims to bigotry. I think I might call him Mr. Brazenly Wrong! lol
And secondly, I think the Left should be focusing on their own problems. But hey that's good for us conservatives if they don't!
Thirdly, if someone wants to take a Candidate's background, social leanings, or religion into account as part of their personal vetting process (or even Nation-wide), then there's nothing wrong with that. Just because some troublemaker, instigator, or accuser says someone is bigoted or that people don't have the right to profile based on common sense, doesn't mean squat.
It's so funny that the Republicans are having this "dilemma"...
But actually, Romney and Cain are a lot alike.
Both are big business types. Both blame Obama for everything as if 2000-2008 never existed. Both are against freedom for women and the working man. Both deride Occupy Wall Street, while fawning praise for the Tea Party.
Sooo, either way....we're screwed!
It seems like the next elections are going to break past records for the number of people who are not going to vote.
An interesting thought to say the least....
I was reading an article about the demographics of the United States, which included the fact that out of the 50 biggest cities in the US, 35 of them have a white minority, and that by 2040, the white population of the US will only make up approximately 35%. In 1970, the white population of the US stood at 85%. As immigration has changed the demographics so entirely, I am surprised that race should still be an issue, and also by the fact that when American politicians appear on our screens, they are nearly always white. This situation will not be able to continue for much longer in the changing America.
I think its odd that in the midterms, it appears, correct me if I'm wrong, that it was the Dems who didn't turn out. 2012, I think it will be the Republicans that don't turn out, no credible opponent, not to mention their own internal conflicts and bigotry.
I never agreed with just vote for the lesser of two evils.....as you can plainly see this is how we end up with that line of thinking. Certainly wish all of the bought people who spend time arguing over our politics would just leave and allow us to start from scratch. Problem is....the job is just too cushy with too many benefits.
Take away all of the benefits, healthcare, retirment pensions, free jets, so on and so on....make them live like the average joe and then watch how fast they leave the political arena. We need real people not career or bought politicians or things will never change.
I love it that the Tea Party and the extremist Republicans are finally becoming irrelevant because of their own ability to eat their own.
The rotten part about it all though is that if you don't vote, you may end up with the biggest evil. Interesting though, because in some respects that also ensures we vote. The elite, in my opinion, humble that it is, worry far more about people not voting at all.
The only racist remarks I've seen aimed at Cain have come from the far left.
There are a significant number of racists in the Tea Party although I haven't seen any remarks either. Of course, Cain's playing the race card against Perry won't endear him to the red necks.
How about Cain himself:
"Boortz, at the tail end of the interview, asks Cain how he’d do in a debate against Obama:
“It would almost be no contest.”
Ticking off ways he could compete with Obama, Boortz says that Cain would be able to talk about the black experience in America.
Cain’s response: “[Obama's] never been a part of the black experience in America"
Really? What an ignorant thing to say. Why is the Right always so nasty? It MUST be in their DNA.
And the Bible told me so: "I will put enmity between you".....you got that right! I can't stand these sssssnakes!
The choice still comes down to Obama or Obama-lite. None of the Teabaggers stands a chance.
The gamblers in Vegas are betting on Romney for the nomination last time I checked.
It's Romney at 9 to 4.
http://mikeandreani.wordpress.com/2011/ … tion-odds/
The odds favor Obama over the GOP candidate also. Place your bet here:
http://www.oddschecker.com/specials/pol … ning-party
Every single one of them seeks to overturn Roe v Wade...even the female Bagger.
See how far that gets them.
Freedom my azzz.
by David Stillwell 8 years ago
As voters, Why are we excepting either Romney or Obama as presidential candidates for 2012.The argument over leadership and leadership abilities, lost job, jobs sent overseas, economic policy, foreign policy, national and foreign debt, national banking and international banking issues, has raged......
by Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago
the United States, are YOU happy with or regret the choice that you have made? Why? Why not?
by alexandriaruthk 8 years ago
2012 US Presidential Election - Is Paul Ryan a good VP candidate choice for the Republican Party?Today, August 11, 2011, Mitt Romney Announced his running mate Paul Ryan. is this a good choice for the Republican Party? Do you think their chances of winning is better against Obama-Biden?
by Credence2 8 years ago
I am taken back to the site 'unskewed polls' where the conservatives were saying that the mainstream polling system was unfairly skewed in favor of Mr. Obama. So, I bet I could not find them now anywhere among all the bits and bites of the internet. Maybe you guys can add to this most interesting,...
by VC L Veasey 8 years ago
Why Were Romney Supporters So Sure He Was Going To Win?And Now seem so Angry, Paranoid and Hateful That He Lost?
by Holle Abee 9 years ago
I've always said that I didn't think Mitt would win in SC, and now Newt is ahead in the state in several polls. The GOP has gone so far to the right that they don't want a moderate. It just boggles my mind that any reasonable person could back Newt. If you think we have gridlock in Washington now,...
Copyright © 2021 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of Maven Coalition, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|