Having Fun While Retired.

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (7 posts)
  1. OLYHOOCH profile image60
    OLYHOOCHposted 6 years ago

    A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a 'Viet Nam
    ... Veteran' cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped
    about it.

    Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in
    particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I
    retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always
    good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal
    after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment.

    While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his
    late twenties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"

    "No," I replied.

    "Then why are you wearing that cap?"

    "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." (I thought it was
    a snappy retort.)

    "The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"

    God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I
    answered as straight-faced as possible.

    He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they
    call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"

    "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it."
    This was beginning to be way fun!

    "Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something
    that COOOOL?"

    I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and
    in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

    "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is
    seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"

    "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."

    The moron nodded knowingly. "Listen man," I said in a very serious
    tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and
    I shouldn't have said anything."

    "Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's
    gonna happen if I do?"

    With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't
    want anything to happen to them, would we?"

    The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the
    door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart
    attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her. After
    checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in a
    car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he
    started pointing excitedly in my direction.

    Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you'
    gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and they sped out of
    the parking lot. What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a
    Homeland Security cap. Whoever said retirement is boring? You just
    need the right kind of cap!

    1. American View profile image59
      American Viewposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Oly,

      A true classic, I'm still laughing.

  2. Aficionada profile image84
    Aficionadaposted 6 years ago

    ME TOO!

    Voted Up and Awesome. Awesome!

  3. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 6 years ago

    ZZ, you should check out peopleofwalmart.com .

    1. OLYHOOCH profile image60
      OLYHOOCHposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Seen them Yo-Yo's. Seems that some people just don't care how they look, anymore.

  4. habee profile image93
    habeeposted 6 years ago

    Oly, you are an evil genius! lol

    1. OLYHOOCH profile image60
      OLYHOOCHposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Ya got ta watch out for us, OLD GRAY HAIRED BERGADE, Folk.

      Ya just can't figure , what we might come up with, for a laugh. smile

      OLY

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)