Having Fun While Retired.

1. 60

   OLYHOOCHposted 12 years ago

   A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a 'Viet Nam
   ... Veteran' cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped
   about it.
   
   Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in
   particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I
   retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always
   good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal
   after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment.
   
   While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his
   late twenties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"
   
   "No," I replied.
   
   "Then why are you wearing that cap?"
   
   "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." (I thought it was
   a snappy retort.)
   
   "The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"
   
   God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I
   answered as straight-faced as possible.
   
   He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they
   call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
   
   "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it."
   This was beginning to be way fun!
   
   "Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something
   that COOOOL?"
   
   I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and
   in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
   
   "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is
   seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
   
   "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."
   
   The moron nodded knowingly. "Listen man," I said in a very serious
   tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and
   I shouldn't have said anything."
   
   "Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's
   gonna happen if I do?"
   
   With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't
   want anything to happen to them, would we?"
   
   The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the
   door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart
   attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her. After
   checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in a
   car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he
   started pointing excitedly in my direction.
   
   Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you'
   gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and they sped out of
   the parking lot. What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a
   Homeland Security cap. Whoever said retirement is boring? You just
   need the right kind of cap!

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   1. 60

      American Viewposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Oly,
      
      A true classic, I'm still laughing.

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2. 77

   Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

   ME TOO!
   
   Voted Up and Awesome. Awesome!

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3. 61

   Ron Montgomeryposted 12 years ago

   ZZ, you should check out peopleofwalmart.com .

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   1. 60

      OLYHOOCHposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Seen them Yo-Yo's. Seems that some people just don't care how they look, anymore.

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4. 93

   habeeposted 12 years ago

   Oly, you are an evil genius!

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   1. 60

      OLYHOOCHposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Ya got ta watch out for us, OLD GRAY HAIRED BERGADE, Folk.
      
      Ya just can't figure , what we might come up with, for a laugh.
      
      OLY

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