- Gender and Relationships
12 Reasons to Get Rid of Your Man
Every day so many women out there don’t show respect for themselves when they choose to stay with a man that doesn’t treat them right. In many cases some women just don’t realize that they can do better. Or they have been taught at a young age that they are not good enough to be with a good man. Some are even oblivious that their man is even doing something wrong because they don’t know any better. Well ladies I’m bringing you 12 reasons worth dumping your man over.
If your man is unsupportive get rid of him. Moments of needing someone for support can vary. You never know when something can pop up. When those spur of the moments come up you want to know you are not alone. Not all situations require just anyone’s shoulder to lean on. Some situations exist where HE is the only one you want to console you and tell you everything is going to be okay. So take the time now to think back if he always ignores you during your time of need. Do you find yourself calming yourself down by crying it out in the bathroom or does he hold you or give you “just because” kisses to help you get through it? If he tells you to “get over it” because he thinks it’s “tough love” then tell him to get over on his side of the bed, get his stuff together and get out!
Doesn’t Know Your Feelings
During arguments things can be said from either side of the relationship to hurt one another’s feelings. First of all it’s not right to say things that you will only regret later. If this seems to be your man’s M.O. and after all is said and done he comes back at you with “Oh baby, you know I didn’t mean that.” Or “You make me say things like that.” Cut him loose. If he knows the types of things that hurt your feelings and he still chooses to say them anyway, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and probably never will. A real man will take the time to know your feelings because he doesn’t want to see you hurt; will hold his tongue to avoid ever seeing you cry. He will put himself in your shoes and get a sense of what things will cause emotional harm to you and avoid doing so. This topic doesn’t just go for arguments. It’s for the relationship in general. If he doesn’t know by now what things affect your feelings in a positive or negative way, I will give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he doesn’t know. If he doesn’t, then it’s your responsibility to be woman enough to let him know the things that bother you to save you from further hurt feelings in whatever the situation may be. When he “gets” why you feel the way you do about certain things he knows what to and what not to say to you in any situation. But if you feel like he knows how you feel and still chooses to act like an ass. Again, cut him loose.
Can’t Express How He Feels
I’m not saying at every paper cut and stubbed toe he needs to report in to you. What I am saying is that he has to let you in on what he expects from you, whether you’re perfect for him, if he loves you….you know, the important stuff that counts. I'm not saying to force info out of him but when he lets you in on these important things, you know where you stand. Lots of times men keep things bottled up inside. How are you to know when he’s unhappy or needs more out the relationship if he doesn't share his feelings with you? You won’t unless he tells you. It’s partly our duty as their loved ones to make them feel comfortable enough to do so. Also, if you don’t know his likes and dislikes, how are you to know if you truly like him or not. Communication is just another one of those “must-haves” in a relationship. If he can’t find the time to let you in on who he is and what he’s all about then you shouldn’t find time for him.
Doesn’t Take the Time to Know YOU
If you feel like he treats you like some random chick and avoiding the details that make you, you, then you need to drop him off at the nearest curb and burn rubber as far away from him as you can. Knowing the special things about you, simply put, shows he cares. If he doesn’t take the time, it means he only wants to cuddle up to a warm body at night. Hopefully you realize that you are worth so much more than that.
If you know or even suspect that your man is seeing and sexing it up with someone else besides you, you’ve already disrespected yourself by staying this long. I don’t care how lonely you think you will be without that loser, it’s not worth your spit to even ask him if he’s cheating. Cheating is the ultimate disrespect a man can give his woman. It’s a lack of respect for you, your body, your feelings and your intelligence, especially if he denies it. There is no excuse for it and shouldn’t be tolerated by any female in her right mind. Relationships are meant to be loving and not hurtful to that magnitude. Remember that as well. Hope you’re taking notes.
Now you’d think this would have been rolled in with the above mentioned topic but it is indeed its own category. This is a simple topic. Without trust what can the basis of a relationship possibly be? It is gravely important to know he is being honest with you and you can trust him. Trust him to tell you the truth in any given situation no matter how painful the reality of a situation may be. Or trusting that he is doing what he says he is doing. Constantly wondering where he is or if he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing is too much like babysitting. If you spend your life or even a second of it trying to keep tabs on your man or worrying about him telling you the truth, those are moments in time when you are neglecting yourself. Being able to believe what he says and not having to waste your time fact-checking is worth the peace of mind.
You ask him to come pick you up from work since your car is in the shop. You even remind him 10 minutes before it’s time for you to get off. However, an hour later he still hasn’t shown to get you. Yet when he does, he has a car full of friends, saying he forgot. What’s worse he doesn’t even say he forgot. He just shows up without an apology or excuse. Nu-uh. I know we talked of being trustworthy but even lying to save his hide at least shows a sign that he cares what you think just a little. Or say you give him money to pay a bill for you because you forgot to do it last minute and instead he goes gambling with it to try to double it. Not being able to rely on your fave guy can be a real downer. Knowing that he will follow through with particular tasks can be quite helpful in important matters. Being unreliable isn’t the end of the world and you may even be able to work around it, but it is something to keep an eye on. In the beginning of the relationship, you may make excuses and let things slide but in the end you’re only making things harder on yourself.
No Goals in Life
Scatter quickly if you find yourself in this predicament. A man with no goals is a man with no future. Remember that. Even a hungry dog let loose in a butcher shop knows to seek out the biggest cut of meat. Enough with the philosophy, hopefully you get my point. What I’m trying to say is that even if your man has no idea what direction he needs to head into to obtain his goals, he still should have the drive and the need to want to be “somebody”. He will strive to always be on top. And he will do so with his own determination and not heavily relying on you to get him there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your man’s back but if he’s relying solely on your money or your talents to get him all the way there, then you need to let him go. How are you to accomplish your goals if you’re peripherals are shut down and you’re so focused on him? Needless to say, his goals must also be realistic and adult-rated. A goal to have the baddest ride or the hottest clothes is mere child’s play. He has to want the goals of an adult man. You deserve someone wanting to manage his own company, become a real musical artist or in a position of a serious grade at his job. Not to mention, a nice roof over his head, a reliable and presentable vehicle and above all else a goal of treating you right. If a man spends most of his time aimlessly walking about with not a care about where his life is headed then what makes you think he’s gonna care about what happens to you.
Poor Socializing Skills
When you introduce him to your friends, family or co-workers does he cringe away as if he were a vampire fleeing from the rising sun? Does he begin to sweat or squirm when in the public eye? Okay, it’s one thing to be shy but another to be some type of recluse. All I’m saying is you want to be able to show off the one you plan on keeping around without having to speak for him or make excuses for the reasons why he acts the way he does. If he’s uncomfortable in social settings then maybe you should try to get to the bottom of it and find out why. Maybe it’s something that can be corrected. It’s more of an annoying quirk so much as a dump-worthy quality. Still, constantly staying in because he doesn’t want to be seen out is uncool. It’s just the way of the world that you have to communicate with people you don’t know. You’d like to know when certain situations arise he will be able to handle them without you having to hold his hand to do so.
Doesn’t Share Responsibilities
Now-a-days it takes two to balance a relationship or run a household. Only a select few of us are able to not have the responsibility of working an 8 hour work day. So whoever gets home first, whether that’s you or him, needs to get started on house chores or heading on their way to pick up the kids. Long gone are the days where it’s only the woman’s role to pick up the kids from school, come home cook the meal, wash dishes, put the little ones to bed and then sex up the husbo. If you both work a full-time gig, then both of you need to be able to help one another out. It’s just a matter of respect and looking out for one another’s well-being. Life today, has a lot more stresses than it used to back in the day. He wouldn’t want you to put it all on him so why should you have to take the brunt of it all as well.
It’s normal to be different. In many ways, it’s what makes some of us a better couple. Ying to your yang and all that good stuff. But when you have considerable differences that affect the relationship negatively, it’s time to part ways. All relationships start out lovey dovey; either one trying everything they can to please the other. When you find that all the fun and newness has dissipated it’s time take a good look at who you really are with and decide if you belong with together.
Blatantly Shows Lack of Respect
Essentially all of these topics are a type of disrespect to you in some form or fashion. There can be a deeper level of disrespect though. Hitting you, yelling at you, cussing you out and soon after apologizing for their loco behavior should not be tolerated on any level. It’s so much more than disrespectful. You are now dealing with someone who is not operating with a full deck. Every woman should know that this is not an acceptable way to be treated. And any real man will know that fact as well. Respect for one another keeps everything in balance. Calling you out of your name or making you feel bad about yourself in any way also makes the list for not respecting you. When you have respect in a relationship, all the above mentioned topics wouldn’t even be a worry.
Knowing what you deserve in your relationship can totally open the door for a good relationship with someone you deserve to be with. It allows you to set boundaries and not just settle with the first good-looking mister that shows an interest in you. Always remember your man should love you, take care of you and be there for you when you need him. You deserve that happiness. Though all listed are directed towards women and what they deserve in a relationship it needs to also be realized that men deserve the same behavior in return. Relationships are not one sided. And not all relationships are perfect. I’m not saying that if a man fits all the above criteria that you need to leave him in the dust but it is a list you should measure any man by because you should have the best. Know that you are to be cared for and when a man doesn’t take the time to do that in every way possible then yes, you need to be on your way or send him on his.
*Please pass this on to your sister, niece, cousin, daughter, whomever you feel is in need of a serious wake up call.