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How to make your husband respect you: Stop him from taking you for granted

Updated on February 19, 2014

Tired of being disrespected by your husband? This post is a practical take on how you can stop your husband from taking you for granted. Marriage is all about compromise, sacrifice and a deep understand of each other’s feelings. Here is how you can get your husband to realize the real value of your contribution in your married lives.

Be focused about your professional life.
Be focused about your professional life. | Source

1) Be focused and committed to your own career

There is absolutely no need to sacrifice your own career for the sake of your family. You can very well juggle the roles of being a good wife and a good mother while pursuing the job that you had dreamed about when you were in college.

Tell your husband that you are committed towards your work. Marriage and parenting are responsibilities that must be shared jointly by you and your hubby. Watching you steam ahead up the corporate ladder is the best way to earn your husband’s respect. Bring in those paychecks show him how you can contribute to the family’s finances.

2) Be focused about your own goals in life: Knowing what you want

Men respect women who know what they really want from life. Whether it is about your goals as an individual, a wife, a mother or a professional, be very clear about what you aspire to be.

A general sense of focus and level-headedness will earn you respect and admiration from your husband. He will value the fact that his partner knows exactly what she wants from life.

3) Get him involved in work around the house

Getting your husband involved in work around the house is a great way to practically show him what it takes to run a home. For all you know, he might be merely thinking about housework as something you can do with your eyes closed.

Whether it is clearing up the kitchen after meals or keeping the living area clean after a messy weekend, don’t let your husband’s laziness get the better of you. He will slowly realize that it takes a lot of hard and smart work to keep the home running the way it is.

4) Be genuinely passionate in the bedroom: Amp it up

Good sexual chemistry is a core part of a marriage’s well being. Being passionate in the bedroom won’t directly drive respect but the lack of it will certainly drive frustration and unnecessary confrontation.

Give your husband a reason to madly lust for you not only as his wife but also as his lover and soul mate. Be passionate in the bedroom and learn how you can keep the romance in your marriage sizzling to the maximum.

Involve your husband in your children's lives. He is as much as a parent as you are.
Involve your husband in your children's lives. He is as much as a parent as you are.

5) Get him to play his equal role in parenting your kids

Make sure your husband plays an equal role in bringing up your kids. Discuss with him the way you want your kids to grow up. Whether it is imparting skills or teaching them manners, involve your husband in the daily humdrum of raising children.

Don’t accept the excuse of him being busy in work. Get your hubby to spend some time with the kids even when he comes back home from work. Inspire him and get his respect by making him realize how hard you strive to be a good mother to his children.

6) Don’t put up with selfishness

Selfishness in marriage can come in a lot of forms. Whether it is something as simple as his selfish attitude about never agreeing to go out to the places you like or something much more intense, don’t put up with the slightest of a selfish attitude.

Over time, your hard stance against selfishness will organically create a respectable image of yours in his mind. Eventually, he will stop taking you for granted.

7) Ignore him in the bedroom

A harsh tactic to remind your husband that he needs to respect you as his wife and lover is to ignore him in the bedroom. Feign a headache, sleep early or do whatever it takes to void off his romantic advances without being too rude.

Your husband will realize that he will have to be more romantic and it will take a bit more than a cheap trip to the local burger joint to woo you. Men passively tend to respect women who are a bit hard to get. But remember, there is a fine line between a playful way of earning his respect and taking it too far to eventually earn his wrath. Don’t overdo it.

Go out with your friends and take your hubby along. Let him see how your friends value your company.
Go out with your friends and take your hubby along. Let him see how your friends value your company.

8) Spend time with your friends

Take time out from your responsibilities at home and work to catch up with your old friends. Get your hubby to tag along and let him see you mingle with your friends. Looking at how your friends treat you with respect and admiration will give him some food for thought.

Sometimes all it takes for someone to respect is to see how other people value spending time with you. Getting your husband to watch your besties fuss over you might be just what it takes for him to find a new sense of respect for you.

9) Love him unconditionally and never be manipulative

Don’t be manipulative if you want to earn your husband’s genuine respect. You can resort to manipulative behavior to temporarily get your guy’s attention or win arguments with him but in the long run it might all backfire.

Love your husband unconditionally and never do anything with a malicious attitude. Let him see the goodness in your behavior, whether it is towards him or the kids. He may not say it aloud but deep down inside he will respect you for the kind of human being that you are.

10) Be honest: Don’t let lies be a reason for disrespect

Lies can rip apart a marriage into pieces. Even seemingly innocent lies can snowball into becoming catalysts for massive fights. Your words and actions will lose credibility if your husband catches you lying. On the other hand, a strong foundation of trust is an organic way to get his respect.

The rewards of honesty may not be instant but in the long run they are far greater than short term gains from lies and deceit. Trust and respect go hand in hand and any marriage is incomplete without these two.


Work out, get back in shape, groom yourself and look nice for your hubby.
Work out, get back in shape, groom yourself and look nice for your hubby.

11) Don’t get complacent about looking nice for him

A common mistake that women make in relationships and especially marriages is that they get complacent about looking good for their better halves. Regardless of how many years it has been since you got married, spend some time grooming yourself on the weekend. Give your man something to ogle at, so that you have his undivided attention.

Work out regularly so that you can keep yourself fit and in shape. Attraction is not the same as respect but it makes a difference in how your man perceives you. Just remind him why he got attracted to you when you started dating before marriage.

12) Impress your husband with your money management skills

Just like women, even men like to splurge on the stuff they like. But popular culture has portrayed women to be slightly carefree with money. Take active steps to rid this false notion from your husband’s mind.

The easiest way to show your hubby how responsible you are with money is to open an online savings account and put away some money every fortnight. By the end of the year you will have saved up a sizeable chunk of money without which your next holiday might not have been possible. Your husband will be impressed when he sees how you are on the top of your game when it comes to money.

13) Take a break from your daily share of responsibilities every now and then

Looking after your share of responsibilities around the house is a nice way to keep your married lives on track. But at the same time, feel free to deservingly shirk away from these mundane responsibilities every once in a while.

If you’ve had a long and tiring day, call your husband and ask him to get some takeout on his way back from work. If you have had a rough week, get your husband to swipe his credit card and take you on an impromptu weekend away.

The essence of all this is to send a subtle yet powerful message to your husband that you work equally hard to run the household and a well-deserved break from daily chores is not uncalled for.

Don't nag and pester him to give you respect. It might make him see the whole issue as something that is annoying and irritating.
Don't nag and pester him to give you respect. It might make him see the whole issue as something that is annoying and irritating.

14) Don’t nag for respect

Genuine and permanent respect is always earned and never asked for. If you keep pestering your husband to give you respect, he will ridicule it as petty nagging. Over time, even your sincere attempts at trying to explain how you feel disrespected may go in vain.

Be the woman that you strive to be and lead by example. Use subtle and organic ways to get him to admire you as an individual.

15) Make a significant contribution to your married lives

Regardless of whether you are stay at home mother or a career-oriented woman, actively think about how you can make a significant contribution to your family and marriage. Here are a few things to think about:

  • Stay at home moms can put extra effort in being the best possible parents to their children
  • Women chasing their professional dreams can strive to go forward and bring a bigger paycheck home

The idea is to make your husband aware of how you are a core pillar of your family and marriage. This will automatically make him respect you not only as his wife, but also as a woman who knows the meaning of responsibility.

16) Make sure you keep the promises you make

People who keep their promises automatically earn the respect of everyone around them. Follow the same principle at home and make sure that you keep all the promises you make to your husband.

Whether it is something small as promising not to go on nagging him about a trivial issue or something as important as promising to cut down on your shopping – keep your promises so that your husband doesn’t take your word for granted.

Don't shy away from making a sacrifice to let you man fly ahead in his career. He will respect you for your commitment towards your lives together.
Don't shy away from making a sacrifice to let you man fly ahead in his career. He will respect you for your commitment towards your lives together.

17) Support your husband in his career

Marriage is all about making sacrifices in personal and professional domains. Both of your careers are a key part in determining how well you will eventually live out your married lives. If the need arises, be prepared to make a sacrifice for the sake of your husband’s career – and expect the same in return.

When your husband realizes how you have given up on something you really wanted so that he can climb up the corporate ladder, he will have a newfound respect for you.

18) Respect your husband: Treat him like the way you expect him to treat you

Respect is a mutual feeling. Don’t expect your husband to respect you if you don’t respect him. Don’t take him for granted and give him all the admiration that he deserves.

Actively take steps to build a platform in your marriage where you both learn to respect each other’s needs, feelings, wants and desires. It will ensure a healthy married life.

19) Drawing the line: Identify the deal-breakers

Every individual has a certain set of ethics and principles which set the standard of his or her life. Hold these standards close to your heart and never compromise on them. For example, if you believe that lying will not be tolerated at all, don’t let your hubby off the hook even for a small lie.

Make it very clear that you are unwilling to compromise on certain deal-breakers. People who live up their standards are respected by others. Your husband will also look at you in a different light once he sees that you are firm about your perception of marriage, family, relationships and life in general.


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