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Single Again

Updated on April 14, 2012

Being single is a trip. Friends try to step in to set me up on blind dates. I gently desist. No blind dates for me. I have to see what I’m getting into. No way am I going into anything blind.

Yeah, I like to be in control. Most of us do too. This is who I am. I make no apology for that. I am who I am because of all that I’ve been through.

See, I’m the odd girl out when I hang out with my girlfriends. They are all in long term relationships. That’s ok, because I’ve been there done that.

It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship again. I do. I’m just not in a hurry to do it.

This time around I’m mature, seasoned, like fine wine. I know what I want. The man coming my way has to know how to talk to me for starters. Not the silly little platitudes either. Ladies, we know them. “Hey babe, you’re so beautiful you make my heart tremble”. Hey, that’s nice, say…..when I was sixteen. Now, that ain’t cutting it. Or, how about, “I’ve been watching you and I like what I see”. Hey, me too but b-o-r-i-n-g. You have to do better than that.

Right about now, the guys reading this are saying that I’m male bashing or that I’m uptight. Na uh. No way. I love men. I’m just telling you like it is.

If women take the time to learn about men, then they need to do the same. My attitude just weeds out the lot. The ones that worry about their cute self will not come over. The one night stand will fritter away ‘cause I’m toooo much work. The “real deal”, the one who has something of interest and not self interest but wants to truly get to know me will come my way. And that’s what I’m looking for.

I’m not saying that I’m averse to approaching a man and I have done it many times too. Men enjoy being the hunter because that’s what they are, or so I've been told. Some of them dislike the woman who goes after a man. It’s a person by person thing.

I’m looking for someone who wants to give and receive and many other qualities that I'll talk about in another hub. Not just a taker. This relationship is a two way street.

I feel lonely sometimes. It’s true. I miss having a significant other. God, the Universe, whatever you call it, gave us a help mate but this time I’m paying attention to whom I choose to have in my life. That person would have chosen me as well with eyes wide open. Ain’t being single grand.

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    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      crazybeanrider~ Thank you for commenting.

    • crazybeanrider profile image

      Boo McCourt 7 years ago from Washington MI

      Wonderful hub Chris. I enjoy being single myself. There was a point in my life all I wanted was to be with someone. Then that someone doesn't work out. And so on...But like you say in that singlness you find yourself and what you want and what your willing to accept.

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Sometimes, I think that I have responded to everyone's comment and realize that I've missed some. I'm sorry and please forgive me if I missed responding to you. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate it.

      drpastorcarlotta~ thank you for your comment and I will pray for a mate too. One Love.

      projectmaster~ You know loneliness is a big issue for many of us. We hate spending time with ourselves. There's the problem right there. We can't stand being alone yet we want others to spend time with us. Go figure!

      I hear you though. Why indeed should we get into a relationship just to end loneliness? Thanks for your comment and I'll check your hub.

    • projectmaster profile image

      projectmaster 7 years ago

      great article ....aright I hate being single however I wouldn't want to date just cos of loneliness as I rather be alone for a bit than to be in a relationship with a nutter ..they call this hell : )

      Plus I rather meet someone that I actually really want to spend time with not out of necessity but because I really enjoy them.. unfortunately I think many people choose to go into relationship because it makes them feel good and not lonely plus increases their self esteem but I think this is destine to fail as you have more chance of picking up the wrong person ..I suggest choose wisely ...internet dating inst bad get to know people better I think after all you have no option but to look deep within yourself...and show your true character because there is a wider selection of people you are not just going to go out with someone because they are the only ones left...thats desperation!!!.... .Plus while on blind dates you just acting the best you can be ...anyway check out

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      taskeinc~ Gotta say I like that, "I come straight from the heart". Yep, that's what a woman wants and of course with the respect and good taste. A simple approach is best without the script. How about "Hi"

      Thanks very much for your comment.

    • taskeinc profile image

      B. E. Shaw Sr. 7 years ago from Atlanta

      Very interesting hub, esp. paragraph 5 that starts out with "This time around I’m mature, seasoned.."

      Sometimes we don't really know what a woman wants or how to approach her, that is why I'll just "be myself" .. I never come-on to a woman with lines, I come straight from the heart and whatever happens to be on my mind at the time, that is what she's going to hear, respectfully of course, and in good taste .. again, nice Hub ..

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      dixoncircle~ Thanks for showing some love and the positive feedback.

    • dixoncircle profile image

      dixoncircle 8 years ago

      Well, I found myself writing another very good comments on your site today.

      I finally have the chase to read the remaining of your published articles.

      You have proven that your are a strong single woman and tough issues have face you in the past. Yet, you are moving on to greater things for you and your kids.

      Do not worry about loneliness that appears in your life during that time. There will always be more happiness in your life then loneliness, just wait and see!

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Micky~ I really don't know the ropes myself, truly. It's all new to me. It's been so long. Yep, I can be dominant.

      I'm glad you're in my corner Micky. Thanks.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 8 years ago

      Great hub. It seems like in every relationship one person is the alpha. One seems to be more dominant than the other. I've always sought the middle ground and there may not be one or for long. Ladies who are starting over need to be or are more assertive or, for lacking a better word, dominant. I think I'm seeing this. I wish I knew the ropes but I'm too old to get in the game now. Thanks for the hub. I don't mean to imply- it's late and I'm getting tired. Great hub. Check you out more later. I do think you're great.

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      dixoncircle~ Thank you for taking the time to read my hubs. Back at you with all the love.

    • dixoncircle profile image

      dixoncircle 8 years ago

      I stop by and read all your articles today.

      I must say well done, and have a great day!

    • drpastorcarlotta profile image

      Pastor Dr. Carlotta Boles 8 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

      Believe it or not, I prayed for my husband because I was tired too!!! lol, lol, God sent my Boaz. New Testament Booz. Been married to him going on 13 years! What a blessings. Praying for your mate, YOU CAN"T GO WRONG! The story of Boaz is found in the book of Ruth. Love your sis and love your HUB and you too!!!!

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      ralwus~ See, that's what I'm looking for too. I desire those golden years with someone who is looking for the same. We will grow together.

      Thanks for your comment and good wishes.

    • profile image

      ralwus 8 years ago

      Well I like what you say. You seem to be quite a catch for any man. Been through those same things myself and it ain't fun. Happily married to a wonderful woman and we are both now approaching our autumn together, those golden years. I wish you the best of luck dear. Peace, CC

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      AMax~ Letting go is really hard for me to do that's true. I'm working on it.

      Dabbler~Thanks for your support. You're sweet to say that.

    • Dabbler profile image

      Dabbler 8 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      So true, so true. It takes time to find the right man! Don't give in to any pressure! When I was single, I always felt like it was better to be single than to be with certain men I met. When I finally met my man, he was everything I wanted and more. But I definitely held out for a long time! You'll meet your man! I know it!

    • AdinusMaximus profile image

      AdinusMaximus 8 years ago from Asia

      We all have our challenges in life. When all is said and done, all we can take with us is our memories and what we've learned from our short stay here on earth. From what I've read, you seem to have gotten a good grasp of your life - except for the control part; I say learn to let go, don't dwell too much on this. Life is like a huge, huge river that we're all riding on, and it can't be controlled by anyone; if you fight it, you'll only lose. Save your the saying goes "go with the flow". Remember, everything happens for a reason. But you can't always find reason with everything that happens.