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My crazy blind dating life!

Updated on April 24, 2012

Paper napkins, really?

Unsuccessful as I am I keep on trying.

I have been dating on and off for the past 10 years with mixed results. If you asked me 11 almost 12 years ago when I divorced if I'd still be single I would have laughed. I no longer laugh when asked about my dating life as it has gone from frequently unmatched to strange and infrequent. I make the choice to not date as often as I hesitate to keep throwing myself under the bus but can't give up entirely.

I have had so many blind dates I could write a book about some of the experiences. I now don't even use the mens names as they get a nickname depending on their jobs, fetishes, or looks. I know it's not really nice but I find it kinder to not mention their names when retelling the stories to my friends. They know I do this and can't wait for the new mans nickname to be told after each date.

I have chosen to retell just one as there are way to many to put into one article. This one is fairly old as far as time frame but it was one of thee most memorable and strange. I do online dating since I live in a remote part of the county, on a farm and don't date the locals. I met this man online briefly spoke to him both online and on the phone and agree to meet in Nashville in a public place for a quick lunch.

I arrived early, sat at the bar and ordered a drink to calm my nerves. I had not dated much after my divorce and had the jitters about starting this all over again. There were men all around the bar who greeted me and started a conversation. By the time my date arrived we were all laughing and cutting up, having a great time. They invited me to leave with them to their next destination which I declined. All the bar guys chuckled as I told them I was there on a blind date. I shushed them when my date came up behind me timidly and introduced himself, we were then shown to our table.

The man was very nice and polite and we made small talk when we moved onto his life where he explained he owned his own home but his sister lived with him. He was not happy with this but she needed a place to live. He thought she was cramping his STYLE and that it interfered with his dating life. Oh really?

He then asked about me and what I did for a living which is when I explained I was part of a treatment team that did "Equine Assisted Psychotherapy". That my specialty was addictions and that I worked with all types of populations both children, adults, families, and groups. He then asked more indept questions that were meant to be hypothetical in nature. He asked for instance "would it be weird if someone did something that did not harm anyone but they choose to do it anyway?" Ok I had to ask, like what? He then went into detail asking "what if someone (not him) collected things like napkins and carried them in their pockets"? I asked like napkins, from restaurants? He replied well yes.

I know I am a professional and should not have busted out laughing but I thought he was pulling my leg. My reply was "that's just f***ing crazy". Where he became visually upset and said I was not very understanding for a therapist. That's when I realized "oh crap this man is serious". I explained how I was not the therapist but the horse professional trained to work with the therapist with similar knowledge and apologized for my reaction. So my curiousity got the best of me and I had to delve further with questions like "are they used napkins, are they paper or cloth napkins, do you need to know the person to take their napkin and lastly what do you do with them when you get home?"

Now I was not only concerned but a little freaked out. I could not get out of there quick enough and end this date. He still seemed interested in continuing but I had to run as fast as I could. I ate quickly, finished my drink and had no dessert. He got the check and I was polite as I could be but wanted out of there. We got up from the table and I walked past him as normally would walk in front of the man. For some reason I just had to look back where I found him taking my used napkin from the table and putting in his pocket. Ick.

I'm sure by now you have guessed his nickname is now "Napkin Man". This was one of those dates you just don't ever forget and as soon as I got into the truck I immediately called my dear friend to retell the story. She laughed hysterically and asked tons of questions which just made me relive the experience. I now can laugh about all this but at the time it really weirded me out even in my profession.

My advice for dating women would be just be careful when you are out there. Date only in public places and don't let anyone rush you into a date until you feel safe and get to know the person. Just because you are bored or lonely don't date strangers. This was very early on in my dating life and I did not know better. I now can say I am much more picky and get to know someone a bit before agreeing to even do coffee or meet in public. You can never be too careful. Hope you got a chuckle and learned from my mistakes, I did.

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    • karmicfilly profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Franklin, TN

      Mekenzie, thanks for the feedback. Oh I will keep dating and I will share the stories, they are too good not to. Next will be dragon man. It's a good one too.

    • Mekenzie profile image

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      karmicfilly, what a crazy date you had with napkin man. I'm sure I would have burst out laughing too .. collects napkins ... who does that? The funniest part was how you glanced back and caught him putting your lip stick stained napkin in his pocket .. creeeeeeepy!

      I really think you should share more of your stories. I have three internet dating stories up and people really like them. My sister has slowed her dating life down too .. it is hard to keep putting yourself out there only to be creeped out.

      I do hope you find a good man who knows how to treat a lady as she deserves. Great Writing!



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