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Single Motherhood and Dating PART4: Trusting Again, Dating Again
Part 4 in Single Motherhood and Dating Series
They say trust is earned not given. When trust is shattered it can takes an extremely long time to heal and trust again if we ever do. It can leave us harden and bitter to open up and trust again.
Single Mom Through Divorce, Choice, Abandonment, Widowed
No matter how we became single moms it ended pretty much the same way. The one we loved left us leaving our hearts broken and perhaps even our trust shattered. Some women can rebound like there is no tomorrow even after having a child. You see them a couple of weeks or months later with a new guy and are also making the mistake of making him Mr. Daddy. I can not really fathom that and I wonder was it really love if six week later you are all in love with a new guy and want to make him Mr. Daddy? For the ones that truly loved and your hearts shattered we take time off to heal and mend the broken pieces. After months, years you decide to get back out there and try to love again and date again. You have of had a few dates, but what soon comes into play is can you really trust again?
He Could Be the One?
What happens when he could be the one….can you trust again? It’s easily that your heart can love again; the mind though hinders you back as you remember all the failures and hurt of the past, or of a love that can never be forgotten. What makes this one different? Your heart says one thing but your mind says another and your mind and heart are now at war. Once again can you really trust again? Take the chance on love again? Give your heart over to someone again? Remember though trust is earned not given, yet do you even want to give someone a benefit of a doubt to earn the trust? It is easier to just say no and close yourself off, at least that way you will not get hurt again. Still you won’t be able to receive love again either. Who would wants someone who can not trust again with such deep issues? The answer to that is simple it is someone who truly loves you. It is someone who sees the mess that you are and wants to love you with their heart and soul anyway. Is that not the ideal Mr. Right?
Now most single motherhood and dating articles period do not really talk about the deeper issues of dating again. This is why I am writing this series and I am getting to the nitty gritty of being a single mom and dating again. Most totally skip the self enlightening part that gets you to that spot where you want to date again. Most skip the paralyzing fear once you cross the dating again threshold or they do and its filled with hard core feminism. I am a balance of ditzy girly and feminism. I am soft still yet I can be hard and lay a smack down if I want to, don’t even doubt be cause I am a female. I do love a good shoe sale though. Past failures at love change us; betrayal shakes and shatters our trust. The famous quote of time is “Time heals all wounds.” This is false yet true. My wounds have healed, but I am scared and left embittered and paranoid into trusting no one. Not even my family, not even myself! Due to past failures I wonder can I trust my judgment again? Do I stay safe and alone? Or do I take a chance on romance again? I worry if I just hide I may miss out on a person that could be great for me. I also worry is this person for real? A strange occurrence happened too of mistaken identity. He claims it was not him, do I believe his words? Do I let him prove himself? If I don’t will I be losing out on the one that could be good for me? I do not know if he could be the one. I am still skeptical of him, but it seems he is not giving up and is out to prove he is sincere. This seems to be now a bit like the Taming of the Shrew.
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