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The Unwritten Girl Code

Updated on March 20, 2013

What is it ? Does it exist ? A real guide to how females are suppose to act in public, privately, and when they are around their friends ? Yes, this guide does exist that stands to speak on the wrongs and rights of what is expected of a female. It is still unwritten to this day even though there have been many interpretations of how a female shall represent themselves. All in all, the goal of this unwritten girl code is the principle that you are to never break a rule and that if you ever do that you may receive severe consequences in return. Many of the rules that are in the unwritten girl code are just principles that we have developed as we have started friendships with females and have grown up in a society that holds females to a certain regard of following the norms and values that have been set forth. Here in this article, I'll go through a few of these standards and values that we expect from friendships and relationships with friends and family. Some of these expectations are as followed:

1. Never Speak To A Guy Your Friend Likes

This rule is simple and easy. You are to never speak to a guy that your friend likes or is interested in. In your friend's eyes, if you were to go against this rule, then you wouldn't truly be her friend. In a way it is seen as respecting your friend and not breaking this rule that has been ingrained in our minds over the years.

2. Always agree with your friend

No matter what the situation is, you are to never go against your friend. Unless, you feel that they are clearly in the wrong and you want to suggest to them how they were by explaining the situation to them. Mostly, when your friend gets into it with another girl then clearly you are suppose to side with your friend everytime. However, when it comes to family, you don't necessarily blurt out that your friend was wrong, you explain to them how you view both sides and how you really feel about the situation.

3. Be Honest

When it comes to friendships, the best thing that you could do is be honest with your friend in the beginning. Try not to get big headed in thinking that you can get away with a lie because eventually that lie will catch back up to you. Over time, you will see yourself telling lie after lie until you have a web of lies. Rather sooner than later, you will find that you will mess up and say the wrong thing causing your friend to realize that you have been lying the whole time. In order to avoid hurting your friend's feelings more than what you already are, you should be honest with them, when they ask you a question or want your opinion on how you feel.

4. Give Advice

I say that you should give your friend advice because nine times out of ten they will ask how you feel about a situation. They will ask you what you would do if you were in the situation and how to handle it from there. As a friend, you are suppose to give advice that is sound and just,also, explaining how you feel and how you feel that your friend should have handled the situation.

5. Never Date,Talk to, Text, or Acknowledge your Friend's Ex

This rule is simple and quite easy to follow. However, this generation, doesn't seem to be following this rule. There seems to be this who cares attitude and I'll do what I want air that seems to be spreading from female to female. Im not saying all females have this mindset; I am saying however that not all females feel to uphold this rule to a high regard. It is usually broken in a time of stress, in the presence of alcohol, a traumatic event, or in the presence of drugs.

Here above are just a few values and examples of what would be apart of the unwritten in the girl code. There are possible hundreds and hundreds of things that you should not do when you have a friendship with a girl. The main point of the unwritten girl code is to give truth on what a real friend does and who a real friend is to you. On the other hand, not everybody will agree with what should be a part of the unwritten girl code, but there are a few rules or values that everyone will agree on.

Here below are some other articles that you may be interested in:


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    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @skye2day thanks for calling my hubs inspiring and for stopping by.

    • skye2day profile image


      5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      Your hubs can inspire many dear girl. You are suppose to be here. Keep em coming lorrilynn. You will get loads of fans. My Love, Skye

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @DDE im glad you liked my hub about the unwritten girl code

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      To the point about The Unwritten Girl Code, you said it all here and was an excellent read.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @Brett.Tesol thanks for voting up and finding my hub interesting and yes they are general rules of friendship

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Caulton 

      5 years ago from Asia

      Up and interesting. I think a lot of what you say are general rules of friendship, but vary slightly depending on the people.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @janetwrites I agree. I think its difficult to apply because times have changed people are acting more on wants than principles. Thanks for the positive feedback.

    • janetwrites profile image

      Janet Giessl 

      5 years ago from Georgia country

      I also think that nowadays it is difficult for some to apply these rules. But I myself like these rules.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @aviannovice i agree with you everyone's principles and actions have changed greatly from what they use to be

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Sounds like a friendship from the old days, none of this fair weather friendship as of late.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @AuFait thanks for commenting I appreciate the feedback

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @alwaysexploring thanks for stopping by and yeah the rules still apply today. I just look at them as principles that some females still uphold

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Interesting read. I guess girl's code still exists today. I agree with most of your tips. I don't always agree if i do not think it is right. I did enjoy reading. Thank you...

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      5 years ago from North Texas

      Must say this hub intrigued me. I've never heard of "girl code." Never. And numbers 1, 2, and 5, seem really crazy. I never pretend to agree with anyone if I don't in fact agree with them. I might keep my mouth shut (I'm getting better at that with time) to avoid telling the truth, but out and out agree? No. Say I agree when I don't? No.

      You mean if you happen to pass your friend's love interest or her ex on the street you have to pretend they aren't there? Can't say "Hi" even if you were neighbors for 20 years? That's crazy.

      Sorry, but I did say I won't pretend to agree if I don't. Even so, a lot of people probably do agree and I'm sure they will find this hub as interesting for their own reasons as I did for mine. Voted up!

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @Vinaya yeah it exists, its basically just norms and principles that we have been taught to uphold when we have a friendship with someone

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 

      5 years ago from Nepal

      I have two sisters, and I have heard my mother talk about girl code since I was a kid.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @carol I completely agree with you on that

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @Angela Im glad that you liked my article and I agree that sometimes the rules change

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 

      5 years ago from Central Texas

      Loved this Hub. I've found that with some girlfriends the rules apply and others they don't -- some friends change the rules as they go and one is supposed to realize (probably by osmosis) when that happens. Excellent points and sound advice here! Best/Sis

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 

      5 years ago from Arizona

      Sounds like some good ideas here. Girlfriends last forever and boyfriends can come and go.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @Bishop55 thanks for reading and Im glad you liked my hub

    • Bishop55 profile image


      5 years ago from USA

      This was fun to read. Seems pretty true to me. :)


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