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What A Guy Wants For Valentines Day

Updated on January 7, 2017
Here's My Valentines Day Gift List Babe
Here's My Valentines Day Gift List Babe

This is in reply to an article I read by Anamika S titled, "What Women Really Want From Their Men On Valentines Day". I will include the link in the links section.

So you're wondering what to get your man for Valentines day. Unlike a woman, men will not drop hints days before. We expect you to know because of our behavior for the 364 days prior to the eventful day. Be it Valentines Day, Christmas, Birthday or an Anniversary that we're going to forget, we expect you to know what we are about. After all, women are more in touch with reality then men.

You can play it safe and buy us chocolate. beer would be better, but chocolate is acceptable. Don't expect us to get all emotional over the card. Those aren't tears of emotion. When you weren't looking we poked ourselves in the eye to make it appear that you pulled at our heart. We know how you women care about these things.

Don't give us flowers ladies. You might like receiving them from us, but the opposite is true for a man. The only flowers we will even think of liking are the ones at our funeral. The only way flowers are an acceptable gift is if the vase they come in is filled with beer.

While women want a man's undivided attention, it's impossible. Like the dog that will drop everything to chase a ball, we have our distractions. Woman, yes we love you, but still look, cars, sports and beer, of course. These will draw us away from you everytime. Science hasn't figured out why yet, so just accept it.

Women say they don't want the expensive gifts, it's the thought that counts. Wonder how many men have given a gift only to be told they were thoughtless. Can't understand why she didn't like her new riding mower. So, ladies, IT IS the gift that counts. Men already accept that statement.

The more money you spend on us the more believable your love is. We are physical creatures. We need to see it, touch it, feel it and taste it.We need the latest, biggest, most powerful item imaginable. We need to thrust our chest out to our peers and showoff what we have. Unlike women, we don't feel another man's joy, we want to top it. Good old showmanship!

So, if you're still stumped as to what to get us, here are my suggestions.

Get the NFL Football package for the TV. You're never going to see us on Sunday anyway. Might as well make us happy.

Gift certificates are acceptable only if the are to the beer store, sports store, or strip club.

Our own refrigerator for the beer.

Train the dog to bring us the beer

Let us bury your head under the covers after we farted without a fight. Just once. We want to share our creation with someone we love.

Sex, Sex, and more Sex. At least on these days. Valentines Day, New Years, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Our Birthday, Your Birthday, Your sister's............Oh just let us have it everyday!

Quiet. Just stop talking for a day. Leave us to our thoughts and TV. It's hard to listen to you and do something more important. We want to help you but not when the game is on.

Let us go out one night with the guys without calling us every hour. I'll be home when I get there. Want me home early? Offer me a beer or sex. Isn't it someone's Birthday today?

That's a man's wishlist. This can be used for any gift giving occasion. These are the things we can never have too much of. Give us this and you might get us to appreciate you more. Well..............At least for Valentines Day.

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    • profile image

      betty 5 years ago

      humor or not this was wonderful great honest true... i was laughing the whole way through.. and honestly i do think men are different..

    • mrpooper profile image
      Author

      mrpooper 5 years ago

      @janSoul.....Guess you don't have a sense of humor.

    • profile image

      JahSoul 5 years ago

      i THINK YOU ARE OBNOXIOUS--YOU SOUND LIKE YOU JUST SIT ON THE COUCH WITH A BEER IN ONE HAND AND A CONTROLLER ON THE OTHER, HERE AND THERE PLACING THE BEER ON THE COFFEE TABLE AND SCRATCHING YOUR BALLS. REAL MEN APPRECIATE THE DETAILS OF THEIR WOMAN AND RESPECT THEIR LADY.u sound sloppy, nasty and stinky---eeeww-Holla!

    • sen.sush23 profile image

      Sushmita 5 years ago from Kolkata, India

      Humour it is, but there is an underlying grain of truth and it is a lucky woman who knows how to separate the wheat from the chaff! LOL! Enjoyed every bit.

    • mrpooper profile image
      Author

      mrpooper 6 years ago

      yvette this is a humor piece. Of course not everyone is like this.

    • profile image

      yvette 6 years ago

      Not all men are as shallow and self serving as this character! These are the articles that real people say "what?" because most men are good sorry for anyone who does have a partner like this. My love is happy to just spend time with me and if I go out of my way to make him a really lovely meal he says "now thats Love!" and smiles at me.

    • Anamika S profile image

      Anamika S 7 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

      Great Post! Thanks for linking to my Article on Triond. I also have a couple of Valentine Day Hubs here on HubPages. Here is the list of Valentines Day Gifts i think would not be a failure with men. However, I would like to know what you think of the ideas.

      http://hubpages.com/hub/Gadget-Gifts-for-Men-Birth...

      http://quazen.com/shopping/clothing/12-classic-gif...

    • profile image

      gymnastkv 7 years ago

      lol! lol!

    • mrpooper profile image
      Author

      mrpooper 7 years ago

      Thanks gymnastkv. Honesty is the best policy. Unless your lawyer advises you differently.

    • profile image

      gymnastkv 7 years ago

      That's really funny! i mean... thanks for being THAT honest.

      It's gonna come in handy!

    • Papa Sez profile image

      Papa Sez 7 years ago from The Philippines to Canada

      Hey mrpooper, thanks for the honest writing about what men want for Valentine's Day. I made reference to this hub in my version of https://hubpages.com/holidays/What-Both-Men-and-Wo... Please check it out and let me know what you think.