This is not cut and dry! Some women fear for their lives...and understandably so.. many women who leave and even get protective orders end up six feet under for leaving at the hands of the significant others! Everyone tells them to just leave and they know when they do that it can get worse...so they stay! They see the statistics!
Sometimes these men will use things to hold the person... such as he will kill your entire family...wipe out every trace of your family and leave only you to suffer because then you will suffer greatly knowing you are the one who caused their death--and he will literaly say all that! I know from exerience!
Nobdoy knows what these women go through unless you've stepped in their shoes. It's not always the same in each case either. Some abusers may not become killers while others will. Some only use threatening to hold you... but it's hard to figure out which are the real killers.
Aside from all that...some women are financially bound to their abusers. Some don't work and feel trapped in every sense of the word! It takes quite a bit to get them to leave! They think about how it will effect their children...how will they provide for them! It's a tough situation! There is help for food and shelter...but there's very little a person can do if the guy decides if he can't have you then nobody will have you! They ignore protective orders when they're obsessed!
Yes the children suffer as well. Many times these children have life-long scars... and no wonder! It's a traumatic time in their lives. However, you have to look at it from the victim's point of view. They may feel they are keeping their kids safe by not taking them out of the home--no money, no food, no shelter! They may not have access to the internet and no clue that there's help out there!