Why does my boyfriend who is divorced since last year, couldn't stop talking abo

1. 60

   pajamazzonposted 12 years ago

   Why does my boyfriend who is divorced since last year, couldn't stop talking about his ex?
   
   I wonder why he has to talk about her all the time, he mentions all the time that she treated him badly, and even injects snippets about her like " I hope you wont do some mind control over me because she did this to me". Has he gotten over her? Was he just totally dependent on her for 20 years and now she cuts him of and that he couldn't stand being alone?
   Thank you for your comments, it would be a great help for me.

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2. 59

   Dave Mathewsposted 12 years ago

   If he is continuously talking about his Ex; He is not over her and is remembering her and probably comparing what he had with her to what he has now with you. You have to tell him straight out that this bothers you and you want it to stop.

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3. 60

   brandasaurposted 12 years ago

   Few possibilities:
   
   -He is not over her.
   -He seems traumatic with their relationship or she handled him
   -He is comparing both of u
   
   Goodluck! Just observe or confront him

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4. 0

   ThomasRydderposted 12 years ago

   Having been in what I can only imagine was a similiar marriage to his, many things are possible. He might be constantly looking for parallels to her behavior and yours. He might be emotionally crippled if she ran things and he now feels less than capable of leading a life without being constantly "guided". Whose choice was the break up? Did she dump him, or did he run? It is likely not so much that he doesn't want to be with you, but rather that he's not sure how to move on without her. He certainly needs to move on, but might require time and/or professional counseling.

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5. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   He's "gotten over her" he just never wants to repeat the hell he went through again. Sometimes when people have been through the ringer they remain "on guard" for any signs or clues that they may be heading down that same road again. Depending on how "awful" things were with his ex and the length of the marriage it could take him years before he stops looking at comparisons. It's almost like expecting a vet to stop talking about the war when he returns home. (No intention to downplay the effects of war or compare it to marriage). The example was just given to show how intense his feelings about what went down with his ex.
   
   It's always tough being the "rebound" person. In addition to building a relationship you also end up being a sort of therapist. A lot of people would rather not be (the first person) to date someone who has just come out of a relationship. From what I'm told it's even worse if the relationship ended due a death. You constantly hear how great their mate was! :-)

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6. 57

   Felixedet2000posted 12 years ago

   if he does that as in talk about his ex even while with you, it could mean he is more or less trying to be cautious not to fall into the same predicament he found himself with when he was still with his ex.
   You really have to be more up and doing as in, not even remotely should you give him any reason for him not to trust you fully. I believes he still abhors some of those doubt.talk with him more and he'll expose it to you.

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7. 58

   juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

   Nan, he don't like her, he just need somebody to load all the crap he had to deal with in path, onto and you are the sucker, who he is loading all of his crap onto. 

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