Sit on the couch with a sheet and read Helter Skelter. Look up once in a while at the person and then pull out a high lighter. Duck behind the sheet and after using the high lighter look at the person again and keep doing this. Invite homeless people over and every time the person attempts conversation, no one speaks to the person. Build a fort in your living room and guard it. Make the person call you dungeon master. Put mayonnaise on all the door handles and wash all hard surfaces with cooking oil. Scream obscenities into the phone and then hang up, tell the person their mother called. Every time they speak turn the conversation into a sexual innuendo.