How do you deal with a person, who wants to impose his/ her views upon you?
Many people want to impose their views on others, not giving any respect for other's point of view. It is disturbing sometimes. How to deal with it without becoming argumentative?
Hi ChitrangadaSharan, I have met many people over the years like this, and I have found that the best way to deal with them is to either totally ignore them, or wait until they have finished speaking and then say, 'Thank you for your opinion, but I choose to do it my way' Or 'Thank you for your opinion, I will try that' and then when they have gone totally ignore their advice and do it your way! lol! so much better than an argument! If they ask later why you did not take their advice just say, 'Sorry I have a terrible memory'!
I think it totally depends on who they are. But if they are speaking, why not listen?
I will listen once and will spend time thinking about what they said. If it is useful I take it in. If it is not I ignore it. If someone continues to talk about something that is not useful then I do not put myself in a position where I have to spend my time listening to something that will not teach or help me.
Everyone gets one respectful listen no matter what they say.
Usually I try to be understanding but sometimes it can become irritating when certain tones of voice are taken (whether online or off). I had this issue just a few days ago with a fellow hubber who I agree with on the overwhelming majority of matters. If the person just acts like they can't even attempt to find common ground and their opinion is holier than thou, I might tell them to buzz off as I had to do a few days ago with a fellow hubber that I usually agree with. I told him that I respectfully disagreed and pointed out that his exact choice of words actually bolstered my view. He commented on my answer again more forcefully but again without a solid argument (actually his opinion or point was quite flimsy). I just told him to go and learn from the Bible from which he was quoting because his wording and opinion did not appear to be that of a Christian.
Don't kid yourself...you aint out of the woods yet!!! :0)
Perhaps when when quoting the Bible you can take into account the fact that not all Christians and others believe or follow to the letter that which you have quoted? Women aren't a weaker sex. Your tone was strong & your stance uncompromising.
Express - I've noticed if called on for proof/solidity to the arguement, there isn't any. He is a great mind, but perhaps cannot see that the way in which he comes across to people in that and other discussions is putting people off God.
Thanks Express10, for expressing your feelings. Thanks C J Sledgehammer, jlpark, for joining in the discussion. It is always good to communicate and clear all differences among friends, as you all have done. Thanks and happy hubbing, all of you.
Most often I do agree with CJ but this was the first time things just seemed quite off-putting and insulting. Perhaps he didn't realize that I am a lady when he forcefully said we are a weaker sex. I respect his opinion, but disagree...no ill will.
Why not just be frank and honest.. You could say I am aware that you have a strong view. As do I please don't push yours on me. I respect you and expect you to do the same.
Usually, if I start talking about Jesus and the Bible to them, they shut up and leave me alone because they don't want to hear about Him or it.
Where have you been lately, Bob? I've missed seeing you around!!!
Thanks Civil War Bob, for answering the question.
Sledge...I haven't had much to say, so I haven't!
Really, it's not too hard. Here is one of my favorite phrases, which I can say sincerely, in such a situation: "Well, I have to agree, if I were you in your circumstances, I would believe the same thing."
If I'm in conversation with someone who is either extremely opinionated or just not listening to what I have to say I may diplomatically offer a 'In that case we both agree to differ' or 'Well, we both seem to be saying the same thing, only with different words and meanings!'
If I just don't agree with what they're saying I will say so!! If that results in an argument then so be it. If I can transform that argument into a debate then so much the better. Sometimes it's possible to get something positive out of talking/debating/wrangling with an opinionated person!!
If I'm engaged in a proper debate then the whole situation changes. But often with a person who is stubborn, on an ego trip or trying to wind me up, I'll send out the right signals - this conversation is one way, getting us nowhere fast and is best ended here and now.
Kill them with kindness. Acknowledge their strong view, but remind them you do not agree, and that in order for you to have a civil conversation with you, it would be respectful if they let you finish/say what you have to.
I have met several hubbers like this. On occasion, I can also honestly say that I have been guilty of the same - usually when riled up, but that is no excuse. If it is brought to my attention, I will back off and listen. But normally, I will listen as long as people are respectful and do not assume that their opinion is going to be mine and that both are equal.
Heck sometimes if they give you the respect, you may even be 'converted' to their side from a strongly held view of your own. But many times, people are too rude to listen to another and actually 'scare' people off - even if they think that their path is the right/righteous one.
I think only bosses can do such mistakes. Sharan, at least I am not imposing my point of view. I am just narrating my experience.
I don't think that anyone can do that to me. But still, my suggestion is to just IGNORE him.
Just listen what he/she say and then if you like you can accept his/her opinion else ignore it.........and move on.
It is virtually impossible to make any statement that can be shown to be "absolute" as a truth. I can always, if I wish, find the way to attack any point of view, and reveal the bias, and the untruth within it.
That all said, it can become tiring and is generally a waste of time anyway.
On social networks, there is generally a "block" feature for persons I'd never want to waste time talking to. Think of Hubpages Mark Knowles....an absolute waste of a mind, sadly, we can't block the least intelligent persons on Hubpages....
I've used many techniques over the years, and most of those are in the excellent answers from other Hubbers. All of them are based in an understanding that someone not expressing respect is coming from a hurt and needy place. These days, though, I see the value of working with people who are open. So, when someone is closed, I simply walk away and go to my writing or to another person who might be useful.
Thanks SidKemp, for your answer and advice. You are right, there are some excellent answers, including yours. Open minded people are easy to work with, no doubt.
Yes & it's not just ease. With an open-minded person, there is valuable work to be done now. To a closed-minded person, all I can offer of value is the respect expressed by walking away, respecting their mindset & the value of my time with ot
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