What is the best way to deal with someone who is egotistical to a dangerous level?
Someone who refuses to take constructive criticism, no matter how gently phrased or obvious to anyone else the criticism might be... How can you deal with such a person when walking away, ignoring them, and refusing to deal with them are not options?
If you are at a mall, bar, night club, etc., I would tell them "There is phone call for you at (such & such phone)" and walk away while they are distracted. If they know where you live then I would keep getting lost somehow when they are not looking until they get the message.
A good therapist may be able to give you some tools to help you in communicating more effectively with someone who is already a part of your life. I understand that some family members cannot be ignored or walked away from, such as a our offspring. Mostly, it is a thing of changing our perspective so that we do not get hurt and blame ourselves for everything. Just keep in mind that if you happen to be dealing with a true narcissist, then there is not anything you can do to change their behavior. That being said, if they are willing to see a psychiatrist, they might be able to modify their behavior slightly.
If they are not narcissistic, then there is a lot of hope. Such people just require more patience. They also need to receive a lot of positive reinforcement--more than criticism, no matter how gentle. Best of luck to you.
Perhaps this person is a narcissist, as you suggested. Especially love what you said about positive reinforcement—a solid plan of action that I'll start doing right away. And perhaps find ways of phrasing the corrections as compliments in disguise!
Before assuming the other person "refuses to take constructive criticism" I think the "critic" has to ask himself about himself whether he's the person supervisor at work and/or whether he's the person's teacher/instructor. He should also ask if it's one matter/project/issue on which he has some criticism or whether he's generally someone who thinks he has some right to criticize others on whatever he's inspired to criticize.
Most of us grow up hearing in school that we should (of course) be able to accept the criticism of teachers (and most often, whether that criticism is correct or not, the fact is it is intended to be constructive). A lot of people (most, maybe) don't realize that once we're not in school, or if we're not in a work setting where a superior's constructive criticism (or even another co-worker's suggestion about, say, how a task might be better accomplished), there is actually very isolated and limited use or place for criticism - or at least for the expectation that one's criticism will be appreciated, wanted, or otherwise not found objectionable.
If the "critic" is a customer or client of a business it's reasonable that he voice his complaints about goods/services, and it's reasonable that he offer a suggestion. In personal or other "non-structured" settings, unless a couple of people have agreed that one will teach the other something (and constructive criticism would be reasonable in that setting), criticizing others generally suggests that one person believes he knows better than the other about how to do something or what the other should be doing. A lot of people are more than willing to accept criticism when they've asked for another's ideas on something. Many aren't interested in unsolicited by people who may, in fact, not "know better" or know enough the other person's reasons for doing what he does.
People guilty of inappropriate, over-bearing, "constructive criticism" need to ask if there's the chance the other person is fine accepting appropriate criticism, but just isn't interested in hearing that one, over-bearing, person's "two cents" on some matter.
"Overbearing" can be sweetened up and/or well intended, but most people see through it. Ego is often about who thinks he's somehow superior to others, or who needs to be. Sometimes when two ways of thinking/doing things are involved it's the critic who can't accept that the other person may "know better" about a matter (or himself, his own life).
Oh, brilliant! You're totally correct--I'd react badly to unsolicited criticism, too, unless it was from a superior/person in authority. This person doesn't accept that I am SUPPOSED to be their critic! I have a plan now--thanks Lisa HW! Very helpful
Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We get to (choose) whom we spend our time with, where we work, and live.
I cannot imagine being in a position where I could not (walk away, ignore, or refuse to deal with someone.) That would be a prison of my own creation.
Lastly I've learned that people change when (they) want to change. Generally speaking they will only do so when (they're unhappy) with the results they are getting in life. Constructive criticism is appreciated for the most part only when it asked for.
Life is a personal journey. Each of us has our own lessons to learn. If I truly could not avoid dealing with someone I would remain silent and allow them to run their own race and allow them to discover what works for them on their own. You can only help those who want it.
Consider learning more about a mental health disorder called 'personality disorders'. You can learn more about this quite easily by searching here on HP; I have written several articles about it, and so has my pseudonym, 'John of the Cross'.
Many words of wisdom, as always, Dashing Scorpio! Thanks! I'll try to apply what you've said to my situation, which is complex to say the least. Thanks for your help, and wish me luck! Cheers!
by Orderly Confusion 12 years ago
Is there a reason why hubbers do not accept constructive criticism and/or corrections? Am I the only grown-up on this site who takes corrections as a means of making my hubs better and myself informed? I, not wanting to let a hubber I started to follow look like a fool, decided to correct this...
by Patricia Scott 15 hours ago
Is it possible to work for a boss who is critical of everything you do? If so, how?Going to work should be an experience we look forward to every day. (You are dong your best, not slacking off, and others know that as well. ) Can you survive in the work place when your boss makes you feel you can...
by northweststarr 12 years ago
A common problem for all writers, taking other peoples' suggestions and criticisms gracefully is essential to the process. I personally, welcome any and all advice from my readers that is constructive and true. I find that my work improves dramatically and I'm more interested if discussions result...
by Nesbyte 4 years ago
How do you respond to criticism?How to you respond when your hubs are criticised? Does it make you feel angry, or dejected? Or does it encourage you to write better hubs? Maybe both?
by Kimberly Lake 4 years ago
Do you approve or deny negative feedback that includes insulting comments on you HubPages?
by Garrett Mickley 13 years ago
Today I posted a comment on a hub that confused me. I'm curious if I'm in the wrong here. I was confused by a section of the hub and I said:Why does it say "We sent New York journalist Sam Merrill (whose previous "Playboy Interviews" have included those with Ed Asner, Roy...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |