I am a husband, and your observation seems very accurate. Many men, and i think most men, have a direct, physical, approach as a primary, first, response/way of behaving. And talking is not direct and physical and hence NOT a well practiced, and competent, method of doing a thing [to end in a winning position]. Men, [being one], from their [my] own point of view, need to win.
Hint : Hence men lean toward explaining things.
Perhaps in place of "We need to talk" [I am in control and this is how I woud like it to go] ...
'I would very much enjoy/love to understand how this [ marriage aspect ] would be from your view point. I see [this] but it might be [that] and i really do need to know.'
Or, less directly. Betty needs to understand how Barney can ... I tried to explain it but just haven't been able to completely explain it.
I love to solve things, I can solve. Which means I have to see there is a problem and that it can be resolved.
So many men are emotionally influenced, but have so little ability or Subtlety with emotions.
Not an answer, but maybe a glimps into dim places. regards, allan