how to deal with a husband who is lying and cheating on you ad mistreating you.

1. 49

   lea_saposted 13 years ago

   how to deal with a husband who is lying and cheating on you ad mistreating you. That was'nt the...
   
   case for four years...We were hapy

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2. 54

   sintomasansiedadposted 13 years ago

   Proabably he is not in love anymore. Did you talked to him???

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3. 49

   schrimshposted 13 years ago

   If you are truly interested in winning him back, then do all the things you can think of that would interest him. A few important ideas:
   1 no nagging- absolutely none
   2 be joyful in spite of your circumstances- it's contagious and you would probably agree a happy person is much more attractive to be around than a grumpy one
   3 Don't forget your exterior beauty. Often times we let ourselves go after marriage and we forget how much our husbands enjoyed looking at us.
   4 One thing that helped me (my husband didn't cheat, but we had our share of problems), was to read and reread the book of "Esther" (I read it many times) in the bible and took careful notes about what it was about the queen that practically brought a very wealthy and influential king to his knees. Also take notes about what turned him away from his first wife and avoid doing those things.

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4. 75

   Cumbesefposted 13 years ago

   I disagree with the advice "If he does it one more time - leave him."  How many times does it take to prove a point?  The answer is one.  If he is cheating and lying (and your statement gives the impression that it is habitual), then you must decide if you are comfortable with this.  If this is acceptable to you, then do nothing.  If it is not acceptable to you, then it is clear that you have different expectations of the marriage and something must be done. 
   
   Your options are counseling, separation or divorce.  I would approach them in that order.  Marriage is nothing to be entered into lightly; nor is is something to toss into the wind carelessly.  If after you have tried to address this and been unsuccessful, then you have done everything you can and the marriage is unsalvagable.
   
   Good luck to you!

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5. 60

   GdessLaceyposted 13 years ago

   I'd definitely talk to him and tell him that you aren't going to put up with that any more. You need to find out his reason for doing so and being in that state with you. Get down to the heart of the matter and figure out your best move from there.

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6. 60

   MickSposted 13 years ago

   the same way a husband would deal with a lying, cheating, mistreating wife.  But remember, look to your self, it always takes two to make and two to break, there is never, ever, just one guilty party.

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7. 0

   mariewritesposted 13 years ago

   He has put you at risk for more than a broken heart, but at risk for every STD  out there!  If he says he used condoms; don't trust him he cheats!!!!  PUT Buddy Row on official couch status. Then work the problem what ever it is.  We must come into the reality that we don't  need to risk our lives for something that counseling could resolve if we would just seek it before getting to the point of cheating. You can't let him back into your heart or bed until it is resolved and he has to come back with official documents stating he has no sexually contagious conditions.  Is this over the top?  It is the only way to keep your spirits and health on top for as long as this life last.
   I had been a care giver for years and cared for so many half my age closing their eyes on this world behind cheating. Don't let him drag you down even if you feel you have some blame. You are not the one cheating he is.

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8. 79

   MayGposted 13 years ago

   Well, my first response is to say get out of that marriage right now.  You deserve more than that.  A marriage is supposed to be a partnership based on honesty, trust and respect.  Sounds like that no longer exists.  But I do recommend giving Relationship Counseling a go first.  It has saved many marriages, and if you can get him to agree to go with you, you may at least discover why he has become this way. Even if it doesn't save your marriage, you deserve those answers, and will probably need them to be able to move on. If you have children,  for their sakes it may be worth trying to work things out, but only to a point.  Life is short and you deserve to be happy and with someone who treats you the way you should be treated. Something has to be done, waiting it out and hoping things will change is just a waste of your time. And you need to ask yourself, even if he promises to change, could you ever trust him, or will you always be suspicious of him?  Sorry for long-winded response, but I feel for you.  Be strong.  Good luck.

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