Do you think an only child is better off more than they are with siblings?
- Darkmetalyposted 12 years ago
0Only children are happier because they DON'T have sibling drama to contend with. The notion of siblings is outmoded w/all the social networks out there. Siblings are totally unnecessary in a family, children can find companionship in friends, cousins & other associates. You are right in stating that children endure emotional, mental, psychological, & physical abuse at the hands of siblings. Who needs THAT?
Children are SO MUCH BETTER off w/o siblings. Siblings are just unnecessary space. They use it family resources, reduce families into socioeconomic struggle, even poverty. They cause added stress in households. 1-child families have less stress-for parents & particularly for children. In the postmodern era, there is NO NEED to have more than 1 child.
Siblings screw up children more ways than one. Only children reach out to others more. They also have more friends than children w/siblings who only associate w/n their immediate family members only. Only children associating & reaching out to others have a more universal purview. They realize that friends, cousins, & others provide valuable companionship. They have a more open & liberal outlook on life while those w/siblings are more parochial because they ONLY associate w/their siblings & no one else. Only children are open-minded because they have companionships w/those outside their family circle & they are more exclusive while those w/siblings are very clannish & inclusive to the point of being .....INSULAR.
DEFINITELY, only children can develop into their individual selves. They do not have to contend with sibling rivalry, gamesmanship, and/or other forms of sibling drama. Studies have shown that children are routinely abused either emotionally, verbally, and/or even physically at the hands of siblings. There are some children who endure bullying at the hands of siblings.
Not all is bliss in the world of siblinghood. Rivalry is de rigueur with siblings as they are competing for the attention of two parents. The correlation of sibling rivalry increases with the number of siblings in the family. Siblings are also slated into rigid familial roles such as "the smart one", "the pretty one", "the stupid one", and "the athletic one." Such roles oftentimes last into adolescence, even adulthood and has either a positive or negative impact on the child involved.
Then there is the issue of favoritism and being unfavored in multichild families. An overwhelming majority of parents in multichlid families have favorite/unfavored children. Favored children are lionized while unfavored children feel as they are personae non gratae. Many unfavored children feel as if they are strangers in their families.
Besides sibling rivalry and favoritism/unfavored issues, there is birth order. Children in multichild families are treated either differentially or preferentially based upon their respective birth order. Oldest children are often treated the most harshly and differentially. They are held to tougher and higher standards. They are given responsibilities much earlier than their younger siblings at similar ages. Many have NO normative childhood and adolescence because of the numerous responsibilities thrust upon them. Middle children are well....either ignored, overlooked, lost in the shuffle. They are considered appendages of other siblings, NEVER recognized for their individual selves. Youngest children are the ones TREATED THE BEST. They have the most stress free lives, little or no responsibilities, and get away with murder.
Only children do not have to endure the sibling drama. They have time to devote to themselves without the constant interruptions of siblings. They can read and indulge in their hobbies in utter and complete peace. They have their friends over. They have peace, calm, and privacy in their home and personal environment. They are FREE in ways those with siblings ARE NOT!Sibling relationships NEGATIVELY IMPACT children in more ways than one:
OLDEST CHILD
Oldest children were once only children. Then a new sibling arrives & h/she is dethroned & relegated to second place. H/she is no longer the center of his/her parents' universe. H/she have less importance in the familial scheme of things than the new sibling. H/she even feels cast aside, even discarded & the new siblings takes his/her place in the parents' eyes. Many times, oldest children revert to previous behavioral patterns of an earlier age in order to get the parental attention h/she needs. If there are succedent siblings, oldest children get relegated to third, fourth, fifth, & even last place.
Oldest children aren't viewed as important as the younger sibling or siblings. They are also shown less affection & love by parents because it is believed that the former are "grown up" & don't need these things. Studies show that oldest children are given less affection than their younger siblings. Of all birth orders, oldest children are given the LEAST parental affection & attention.
Oldest children are expected to MATURE QUICKLY. It isn't unusual for oldest children to be inundated w/responsibilities during early childhood. Although they are children, they AREN'T considered nor treated as children but as miniature adults. They aren't given the liberty of being children like their younger siblings are. They are expected to MAN or WOMAN UP as children. They are given adult-like responsibilities FAR BEFORE they are ready to assume them.
Oldest children are held to VERY STRICT, ONEROUS standards. They aren't allowed to be vulnerable nor make mistakes. They have to be perfect at all times. If they fall short, they are oftentimes punished severely. They aren't granted any quarter like their younger siblings. They are punished more harshly & AREN'T allowed to get away w/things that their younger siblings got away w/at similar ages.
Oldest children have no childhoods nor adolescence. They aren't individuals but exist to serve their parents & younger siblings 24/7/365. Their needs are placed last while everyone's needs in the family are placed first. They are expected to be ALWAYS ON 24/7/365 for parents & younger siblings.
Oldest children are treated THE MOST DISPARAGINGLY of all sibling birth orders, if not all birth orders. They are always in a catch-22 situation. They are expected to be strong & tough. They aren't allowed to be themselves. They have rigid role expectations placed on them as to how they should behave, even BE. They aren't allowed to be children at all. They have to adopt a role to please their parents & younger siblings. They really can't be.......FREE at all.
Oldest children are proverbially treated like discarded rags. It is commonplace for oldest children to be cast aside......& aside...& aside. This is true if there are succedent siblings in the family. Oldest children are somewhat viewed by their families as non-present until they are deemed......USEFUL. Until they are useful, they are viewed as worthless & routinely cast aside. Oldest children are viewed as by their parents & siblings as what have the former done for the latter.....LATELY. Yes, oldest children are viewed as PURPOSELY & USEFUL......to others.
MIDDLE CHILDREN
Middle children are the forgotten or lost children. They are ignored, overlooked, & even overshadowed. They aren't appreciated as individuals in THEIR OWN right but are seen as appendages for older & younger siblings. They receive the LEAST attention, love, & affection of all sibling birth orders. To paraphrase the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield, they get NO RESPECT, when will they get.......RESPECT.
Middle children seem to have no place in the family constellation. They are not there in the eyes of their parents & siblings. They either get ignored or get lost in the shuffle. They are oftentimes the MOST NEGLECTED of all birth orders. Many fall through the familial cracks as they didn't receive the prerequisite parental attention. Who are.......THEY really? Who? WHO? W-H-O? Middle children are oftentimes THE NOBODIES in their families.
Middle children are likely to be the DISFAVORED child in the family as the other children get more of the lion's share of parental attention, love, & resources. Middle children have the Jan Brady Syndrome, they constantly have TO FIGHT to get even a modicum of parental attention, love, & resources which goes to the other children in the family. It's always THE OTHER SIBLINGS, never THEM!
YOUNGEST CHILD
Ah, youngest children are by far the LUCKIEST of all sibling birth orders. After all, they WON'T ever be dethroned. They are AT THE CENTER & WILL ALWAYS BE THE CENTER of his/her parents' universe. Youngest children have it.......MADE IN THE SHADE so to speak! They are the darlings & jewels of their families. One can say they are the kings & queens of their families. They are oftentimes treated like royalty by parents & siblings.
Youngest children are indulged, loved, & pampered in ways that their older siblings.....WEREN'T. They also have more leniency than their older siblings would have at similar ages. They have & are given everything. They have myriad opportunities that their older siblings DIDN'T &/OR WON'T have ever. They have a freer childhoods & adolescence. In fact, they have THE LONGEST childhoods & adolescence, never assuming any type of responsibilities like their older siblings did at similar ages.
Youngest children are treated THE MOST PREFERENTIALLY by their parents. They are also THE FAVORITE child in their families. This favoritism leads them to be quite SPOILT, SELFISH, & ENTITLED. Youngest children are oftentimes selfish & bratty because everyone catered to their needs.
Siblings negatively impact oldest children in that they bear the onus of familial responsibilities. They have NO childhood nor adolescence to speak of. They are treated harshly while their younger siblings....AREN'T. They are constantly cast aside in favor of younger siblings who are treated better. This causes resentment & anger on the part of oldest children who never had THEIR needs met. It is no wonder that studies show that oldest children are THE MOST ENVIOUS & DEPRESSED of all sibling, if not, all birth orders. They are also the MOST UNHAPPIEST.
Siblings negatively impact middle children the worst. They are overlooked & considered personae non gratae in their families. In fact, they are the most beta of all birth order. They are overshadowed by both older & younger siblings. Their achievements & talents are ignored & not even considered important by their parents. They must constantly vie for their place in the family constellation. They have continual uphill battle to even get noticed.........
Even youngest children who have THEIR lion's share of attention & favoritism are bullied by older siblings because the latter resent the preferential treatment the former received in comparison to them who received less favorable treatment. Studies show that youngest children are more likely to commit suicide as adults because of the bullying they received at the hands of older siblings.
Children w/siblings are less happy than only children; however, they refuse to realize this because it has been inculcated to them that having siblings is a "great" thing although children w/siblings experience more emotional, mental, physical, psychological, & even psychic stress than only children.
It is routine in sibling households for children to be abused emotionally, mentally, psychologically, psychically, & even physically by their siblings. Not to mention, the treatment that they receive at the hands of their parents based upon their specific birth orders- oldest & middle children are shafted while youngest children are adored, pampered, & loved unconditionally. In sibling environments, there is constant sibling rivalry, one-upmanship, & gamesmanship. There is also parental favoritism. No child should endure that. Growing up w/siblings negatively impact children into adulthood. Children w/siblings are WORSE off & have issues that only children DON'T have.
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