My Ex cheated and we split....she recently contacted me what do I do?

1. 58

   deias7posted 12 years ago

   Ok....Here's the thing my ex and I were together for a year and I found out she cheated. We then broke up and she started dating the person she cheated on me with and wanted to remain friends. We didn't give it any time before we could see if we could be friends which is something she wanted even though I still loved her so i agreed. That lasted for about a year which included alot of sex, lies, jealousy, games, gossip about me ect.... She said she still loved me but I had to accept the fact that she moved on (which was very quick) and that she only wanted to be friends so to make along story short i eventually cut all ties from her so i could get over her(no communication for 3 months) and she recently has called me and told me she misses me and wants me to hang out with her but she still is dating the female she cheated on me with so my questions are:
   Do I agree to see her even though this might ring back feelings ?
   What are her motives?
   Why is she contacting me if she didn't want nothing to do with me?

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   1. 59

      In a Cold Climateposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hello
      This sounds like a difficult position for you to be in.  The common sense approach would not be to have anything to do with her, because she hasn't acted particularly well for a partner, or even a friend.  If you made a list of what you would like in a friend, how would she score?. 
      But if you really feel you would like some contact with her, set some boundaries, and see if you can maintain a relationship with in those boundaries.  Also devise some sanctions in case you or she are not able to stick to those boundaries.  This might be difficult, so I would hope you have some supportive friends around you, who you could turn to for support with what ever it is you decide to do.  If you allow someone to hurt you and then hurt you again, you have an even greater healing process to go through.  I wish you luck.

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