Attraction is important. What role does attraction play when it comes to meeting the opposite sex?
Do you place beauty and the validation of others above your need to find the best person (match) that is compatible? Do your need for external beauty run neck and neck with the substance of the man or woman? Do you place great sex as your number one requirement and allow everything else about your mate to be sub-standard if this quality is present? Do you sacrifice sex and looks for a better overall total package? Do you understand why a 3 would expect a man/woman that is a 9? Do you beauty standards compliment what you see in the mirror?
When it comes to beauty what do you find attractive? What is your definition of attraction?
Many men like myself don't pursue women we find physically unattractive.
Attraction or sex appeal is the initial impetus for asking a woman out on a date for most men. Thankfully beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
Men who are 3's have been taught if they become successful enough they can have any woman they want. Hugh Hefner at age 86 married a 26 year old former Playboy centerfold model. His looks had nothing to do with it!
Whether people want to admit it out loud or not we all have our "preferences". Some guys don't want to date overweight women and some women don't want to date short bald men.
If people disagree with your "preferences" they say you're "shallow".
Each of us is entitled to have our own preferences, likes & dislikes!
The "substance is something one discovers after they've chosen to spend time with a person.
Having said that it's not uncommon to hear of women who forgo a man's appearance in favor of how dependable, reliable, trustworthy, and financially stable he is. In addition to how well he treats her.
This is especially true if she's had her heart broken several times by dating the "bad boy" or "hot looking guys" who are always in demand.
Author Lori Gottlieb had a bestselling book titled:
"Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough"
In it she suggests women let go of their fairytale rich prince or knight in shining armor and instead look at "good men" who are often overlooked such as the mailman, UPS driver, grocery store manager...etc
These guys may not make a girl's heart beat faster but many of them are ready for the little house with the white picket fence.
Can you imagine a book like that targeted towards men?
By pass her looks and instead focus on her other traits?
If such a book existed it surly would not be a bestseller!
From a girls point of view it was the sparkle and magic in my husband's eyes that i fell for at first and i fell more im love with him the more i knew him, and i love every part of him every bit of his looks and personality flaws and all. I even think he is cute when he.is grumpy. Sometimes it is what he says that i find way attractive, sometimes the way he walks by.I think it starts with a simple attraction to what you see and when you fall, you are head over heels.
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