When is someone being verbally abused as opposed to just too sensitive?
How does someone know if they're in a verbally abusive relationship or if they are just too thin-skinned?
When some one is being verbally abusive they are making you feel worthless. They are mentally trying to break you. The worse they make you feel the better they feel. Not healthy at all.
Verbally abusing someone is when you are verbally attacking them and or their character. -ex. name calling, down playing, disrespecting person.
Being oversensitive is when someone is taking every word said to a different extreme. Taking even the slightest thing such as a compliment the wrong way. -ex. person 1 says: you look good today. Person 2 responds: do I look bad every other day. - too sensitive
Verbal abuse is plain ole verbal abuse. When you communicate with someone, there should be no need to feel insecure, rejected as well as insulted unless you are dealing with a stranger or psycho. A friend, relative or lover isnt going to speak to you in a way that demeans you or makes you feel uncomfortable, unless that is exactly what they are doing. When you are upset with someone both parties are in the know and react accordingly. I am amused when certain people are verbally abusive, I just ignore them and leave them to figure out what has happened on their own. Never entertain people when regarding any type of abuse, especially when it is not called for.
Vonda G. Nelson
If you are being YELLED at, cussed at, put down, degraded, compared to another person and you don't match up--you are being verbally abused! Thin skinned and too sensitive is when you get upset if they tell you they don't really care for fish! That is the difference!
Verbal abuse gives you a gut response and it feels uncomfortable deep down. That's how I knew. I knew the person meant to harm me by what he said. Wheras when my teenage son says something a bit 'thoughtless' I know he still loves me and he is a kid being insensitive. I don't expect him to be like that when he is a grown up - whatever that is! And if I explain he doesn't keep on repeating the behaviour.
You don't need to only be yelled at and insulted openly for it to be verbal abuse. I had twenty years of it and spent the first fifteen wondering what I did wrong all the time. That's how it gets you. My ex would laugh at what I said, snigger and smirk, he would ignore me, withold any feed back. Verbal abuse can be passive too and it is not just what one person says to another. I was put down by being ignored ot just sniggered at. Devalued by being told I was mad and yes...'just too sensitive'. He laughed at me all through our councelling sessions until she suggested he attend an abuse workshop. Then he said he wasn't an abuser because he didn't hit me. A commom misconseption! There are NO excuse to verbally abuse another person. Just a lack in the abuser.
The important thing here is your feelings.
If you are not comfortable with the way he speaks to you - let him know that's how you feel.
His reaction to that sets the precedent for how he will behave in the future.
When it hurts and that person who is doing the verbal abuse has no feeling one way or the other. If is constructive that is one thing, but to hurt another person on purpose is just plain Mean.
There's a saying out there (and I need to find the source again) that acknowledges things are not just black and white--that there's a lot of gray area. But it takes it a step further by stating that even within that gray area, we know when we've done something profoundly callous and cruel.
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