If you have a verbally abusive boss & can't afford to quit, what would you do?

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  1. marketingskeptic profile image68
    marketingskepticposted 11 years ago

    If you have a verbally abusive boss & can't afford to quit, what would you do?

  2. profile image0
    paxwillposted 11 years ago

    Record your boss and present the evidence to his or her superior.  If your boss doesn't answer to anyone, start looking for new work and quit as soon as you find something else.  Sorry to hear about your troubles at work.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      HMM be careful recording someone without permission. You may be looking at legal trouble. I was a union VP for 5 years and I can tell you some simple tricks of the trade to help yo. #1 ask to record, this is a deterrent , #2 pull out a note book.

  3. rlaha profile image61
    rlahaposted 11 years ago

    I would talk to your boss and try to tell them how you feel when they say those mean things to you.  See if the boss will realize what they are doing.  Hopefully that will help.  Good luck!

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sometimes that makes it worse. Involve those who are responsible for your healthy learning environment. Documentation is the ultimate key to getting something done. Names, times, dates, people who heard it.

    2. rlaha profile image61
      rlahaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Penny.
        I understand that but one can always try right?

  4. Pollyannalana profile image60
    Pollyannalanaposted 11 years ago

    Read him his rights. There is no time or need for anyone to take that and he knows it is not legal so just let him know. Is there any other way? I don't think so and just make sure you have proof and tell him so. Surely you are not the only one who knows what this person is like. Who knows, you might get a raise. lol

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Now you are on the right track. You are correct. Why people get away with this is only because people do not stand up for themselves, and use the law given to us to correct this unjust behavior. It just takes one person to step out there.

  5. Felixedet2000 profile image59
    Felixedet2000posted 11 years ago

    I  will face my job turning deaf ear to his abusive utterances, this way i will be more focus with my job.

  6. profile image0
    gkanekoaposted 11 years ago

    I used to work for a boss like that. He was the kind of guy where his words were law and he could do no wrong. My co worker and I would actually sit him down and tell him to his face we didn't appreciate the way he did things--but he'd just gloss over it and talk about other stuff. The worst thing was that it was just him and me in the office. We got a coworker for me later, but she left--in fact, he was such an horrible guy that everyone always ends up leaving after a few months.

    I was working 9+ hours a day. I used to have weekends off but then I started working saturdays and Sundays.

    Long horrible story short this is how my coworker and I got out of it.

    She got herself on a plane and left Hawaii. Then she left me by myself holding the bag. So I found an excuse. I enrolled in a community college and got a job there. I was working 40 hours because it was summer break and going to one summer class. I told him I was too busy to work for him and just didn't go back. Sure I wasn't making as much as a student worker. I went from 12 dollars to 10 dollars and hour--but i wasn't getting any benefits from the first job anyways.

    The hardest part is getting your paychecks after you leave. And because my boss was using University and other funds to pay when he should have been using his own money, it took him a while to get the money.

    Anyways, now that I finally got all my paychecks I'm going to find a real job and use my school as a reference instead of the crazy boss. If you can't afford to go to school you could always sign up for classes and work a bit then withdraw to get i think 75 or 50% of your tuition back. But you could always check for scholarships.

    Bottom line: Think of an excuse or just get another job, ASAP.

  7. whoisbid profile image61
    whoisbidposted 11 years ago

    I would keep working for him and doing what he asks. This is because it will strengthen my character

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Reaaly, we have rights, I am one who stands up for them. They can continue to do this illegal work pratices as long as nobody does anything. By not doing anything we enable them to continue. Our silence is their best kept secret!

  8. Dolores Cole profile image39
    Dolores Coleposted 11 years ago

    I have had many bosses that were jerks. But however I kept being nice and giving them respect. Why?  Because a lot of bosses want an excuse to hire anyone. They also just want here what they want not what they need to here.  You could even video tape them and show them how silly they look and behave or if their is a boss hire than them show him or her the video. But go threw the chain of command first.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Video taping could get you in legal trouble without permission. This goes far beyond personal feeling, it's the law. So many worry about retaliation, however once you involve officials, they are under the watchful eye, and usually lay low.

  9. Inventurist profile image77
    Inventuristposted 11 years ago

    Keep in mind, if you are working with more than about 3 employees, he has to be carrying unemployment insurance on you. Not that it is what you want to fall back on, but that he/she knows that you will get something out of his pocket if he fires you - otherwise, that would have already probably happened.

    3 tough things to do in this case. 1. Analysis of your work - are you actually doing what you are supposed to be doing to the level it should be done? In other words, are you doing your work, and doing it well? If not - remove the issue - do your work, on time, to the level it should be getting done and probably not have this problem. 75-80% of the time I consult with people, this is the case and the person is usually not doing their share, quality or level of required work and instead is coming in late, not showing up, coming in drunk, not doing their work etc.
    2. The other 20-25% of the people I consult with in this situation are top notch workers that have idiot bosses and need to do #3 or outlast their boss. If they are a screamer, they tend to have high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and a number of other health issues - good chance their boss will be changing.
    3. It is a lot easier to find a job when you have a job. Ok, sure, during the day it is tough to get away for an interview - but if you make the new job the priority you can win at this. Like a divorce, leaving has its problems, find a way out of this abusive relationship and wipe the doorknob off so there is no trace when you leave. Good luck.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Winning unemployment isn't hard if you keep good records, names act. I helped my son on an appeal, which his dismissal violated federal law. We won! On a second note, why leave hold them to the laws.. Once they are in the light there is no turning.

  10. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 11 years ago

    Verbal abuse can be one of the most difficult issues to deal with, ESPECIALLY when it comes from the one who calls the shots and signs the checks.  I would want to know if he/she is abusive to ALL his employees or if he singles you out and a few others?  I ask this because if he is just a miserable, nasty person in general, there can be a bit of comfort in knowing you need not take it personally.
    If you feel he zeroes in on you, in particular, it may be time for you to take positive action.  Muster up every bit of courage and professionalism you have and ask for a brief, private consultation.  You are wise to realize you must not quit and put yourself in financial danger.  To increase your comfort and success in speaking with him, know exactly what you want to ask him and/or discuss. Write it down and rehearse it over and over.  I believe this will result in a better relationship with your boss.  Good Luck.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Educate yourself in the law about sexual harrasmant and other. Other takes in everything else. Speaking from experience, they leave you alone when they know you are looking into legal action, they sadly move on to a safer victim .Follow the guideline

    2. fpherj48 profile image60
      fpherj48posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Penny...Attempting to drop a hint about "knowing your legal rights", etc, when speaking to a BOSS is a really good way to insure he/she will move on to find legitimate reasons to fire you!  NEVER forewarn the enemy. Know your rights & keep QUIET.

  11. RPirate profile image62
    RPirateposted 11 years ago

    "Can't afford to quit"? Is this really your situation? If you can do something very well, there are always other options available.

    Think about it, don't be afraid to make a change in your life.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Why leave, stand up for your rights. These laws work if you use them. I have been involved with this type of situations and got much done, by knowing the laws. If you step out there many times others will join in. One person can start a big change.

    2. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      True, one can always get another job.  No one has to tolerate verbal abuse, no job is worth it!  Quit, leave, and get another job.

  12. profile image0
    Monik@posted 11 years ago

    can't afford to quit?!! then u must listen him/her like deaf..
    I would ask to
    1. let him know how it feels by putting him in same situation..
    2. just told him directly on his/her face
    3. take help of written letter..sometimes written words seems louder than saying.
    4. just quit job and find new opportunities and nice people.

    1. Samuel Atogna profile image61
      Samuel Atognaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I believe in self consciousness,if you have an abusive boss and you still want to hold on to your job? Then the only way is to ignore him or her.Behaving ignorant about his or her attitude will render him or her useless,because you do not give an eye

  13. MakeEasyCash profile image68
    MakeEasyCashposted 11 years ago

    Get evidence of it and take it to someone higher in the food chain that if possible does not like your boss either smile  Or try switching positions within the company.

  14. mathira profile image80
    mathiraposted 11 years ago

    When a person is being unnecessarily abusive to you and if that person happens to be your boss, it can tax your mental peace in a very bad way. A verbally abusive person is an unsure person and if you are able to touch the right chord with your boss, the abusive words will give way to positive praise.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, this creates a hostile work environment. In America there are laws against this, but few feel comfortable using it. As a union VP for 5 years, I have seen how well it works , especually if you know it and how it works.

  15. profile image57
    Deemceeposted 11 years ago

    Do you work for a small business or larger corporation?  Most large employers now have "employee service centers", where you can anonymously talk to someone who knows the business you are in and what would be the best advisable solution to your problem.

    Small business isn't that easy, especially if your boss is the owner.  Is the boss berating your work?  Find out what he/she expects from you.  Are they belittling your clothes?  Dress in a more business fashion.  If you don't find out what the issue is, chances are you'll eventually be fired anyway.

    If it appears that part of your job description is being the scapegoat for the boss, either accept that's the way it's going to be or leave.

  16. stariswhoiam profile image61
    stariswhoiamposted 11 years ago

    well depends on the extent in which you need the job....
    if you could find another job that pays you enough to live, then just quit and find another job...
    if not life isn't handed to anyone on a silver platter, so if this is your only choice at getting money, then you have to do it.
    But it could be helpful to talk to your verbally abusive boss about how he's verbally abusive, maybe he could completely change or at least partly change.

  17. RobinBull profile image59
    RobinBullposted 10 years ago

    Follow the chain of command.  First, you file a complaint with their supervisor...unless their supervisor is known to not want to correct issues.  Then, if need be, you work your way up the food chain to HR.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      A paper trail is always effective, showing you made effort and in good faith tried to handle it at the lowest level possible. Looks good in court as well as at the labor board.

  18. Jacqueline4390 profile image84
    Jacqueline4390posted 9 years ago

    If I had a verbally abusive boss; I couldn't afford NOT to quit. Sure would be jail-time :-)

  19. Penny G profile image60
    Penny Gposted 9 years ago

    I would anonymously send him a copy of the Federal law sexual harassment and Other.

  20. erorantes profile image36
    erorantesposted 9 years ago

    You need to get legal advice.  If you boss is open mind. He will
    Be open to discussion with a lawyer. Do not be afraid to loose your job. You will not loose you job.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I so agree. In fact they usually are afraid of you after you file affical complaints. From my experiences, they usually move on to other people. Sad but true. You are the last person they will fire!

  21. lostohanababy profile image57
    lostohanababyposted 9 years ago

    Maybe a few kind words would help.  Like when you come into work say, 'good morning' or 'can I get you a cup of coffee...'.   Maybe if he sees you care about the business and him as your 'boss', he may want to lighten up, a little!

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe a copy of the laws that protect you from this would be good!

  22. Zocordaro profile image61
    Zocordaroposted 9 years ago

    I'm dealing with a very similar situation.  I am student and dealing with a verbally abusive mentor.  Is it worth it move on to something else or continue along this path.  Its a tough decision, but if you have enough evidence to stand behind you, it might be worth it to talk to human resources.  Maybe they need leadership or communication lessons to help them understand how to treat people.

    1. Penny G profile image60
      Penny Gposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sometimes it is best to take it outside the place it occurs. HR responds well when you quote the law to your right to a non hostile learning environment .


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