how do you know a man really loves you?
if he really loved me will he decide to leave me after he hears something stupid that i did? like contact his ex girlfriend.
You are asking multiple questions about relationships. Your questions indicate that you are dependent on others, and put yourself in their hands to be happy.
Before one chooses an adult relationship, it would be helpful both parties were mature adults. Your questions indicate this may not be the case. You ask essentially if a person can "love" a person who does not “love” him or herself? Unless that other person is in a position to foster or support the immature person while they mature, the answer is, "No." This does not mean that the "love" word will not be used to manipulate the immature person into doing things they should not do.
Love itself is a multiple meaning word. There are many forms of "love." The Paternal love from God, your parents or Foster parents or the Platonic love of friends Preachers, counselors / teachers / social workers, and so forth. Anyone involved in helping to raise / nurture a child or youth and provide the much-needed affection for growth has a platonic love of that person. The male / female “love” of which you speak is sometimes merely, “lust.” Lust is when the immature person seeks another in order to achieve some goal. Perhaps just feeling whole?
If the person you are involved with is a mature fostering person, perhaps “relationship counseling” might help you both. Since that person failed in a relationship before, it would not be a bad idea for both of you to grow in this relationship. Once you grow into a confident self-reliant person who is confident and happy with their life you will no longer need another person's approval to feel good about your self and will be such a blessing to any relationship, you will have to push others away. Immature people tend to cling onto mature confident people.
Relationships are best when they are between two mature people who bring something positive to another so that each can mutually grow together. As the saying goes, “If you need me, I don’t want thee. If I need you, you don’t want me. If we don't need each other we want each other and will live in peace.”
I think you have 2 questions, I'll do my best to answer w/o being too detailed & what not
1. How do you know a man really loves you? -- Its hard to say because each man is diff. - but when he says/does things no one else has or say/do things he's never done for anyone....then he loves you. When he constantly tells you're closer to him than anyone else has ever been & you hear the sincerity in his voice & see it his eyes....then he loves you. When he continuously go above/beyond or out of his way to make you happy/satisfy you & his actions follow his words.....then he loves you. When he no longer yells during arguments & does everything possible NOT to argue even after you've pushed all his buttons several times.....then loves you. When he wholeheartedly supports all you do and finally puts you & your needs before his or himself and takes major steps towards a serious future (engagement, etc).....he definitely loves you!
2. Will he leave after hearing about something stupid you did even though he says he loves you? -- Its possible. It could really go either way. He may leave because he may feel whatever you did made him believe that you two need time apart, but he may still love you. On the other hand, whatever you did may cause him NOT to love you & leave, but if that's the case, then he never really loved you anyway, because if all it takes is 1 simple mistake for you to lose his love, than that's pathetic. Love is nearly invincible, impossible to break! I hope that made sense & it helps, let me know.
I would've replied sooner, but I just saw the request today & thats only because I decided to check my email! Now I have a question for you. . .Why would you contact his ex!? Don't do that! Bad move!
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