How does living with parents in adulthood make a person extremely immature? I believe that
once one reaches adulthood, he/she ought to be self-sufficient and make plans to leave the parental nest. Of course, it may be difficult at first; however, one gains valuable life lessons living independent of parents.
So you do not believe in the extended family model? Sometimes I wish it was still the norm rather than the nuclear family. I may feel that way because I have no living family left.
I think good and valuable life lessons can be learned anywhere - providing the parents back off and let the child be an adult.
I don't think living with your parents makes you automatically immature. It's a lot easier on the parent(s) if the adult child is mature and responsible. What I've seen in myself and my own children is that there is a gap in understanding that shows up as immature behavior. It can happen at any age.
My mom passed away this summer. She was the one who did the bills for close to 50 years. My dad never had to pay a bill in his life, and he's 70 - and really having a hard time with his finances and dealing with the bill collectors if he misses one has shown how incredibly immature he is - in that one area.
The same thing happens with my kids, neither one of whom has ever had a full time job or been responsible to see that the paycheck lasts until the next one comes. They can get all kinds of bent out of shape over not getting some little toy or something they want. But they have never been in the position of having to choose between "toys" and food/rent, so they don't really understand (emotionally) why they are hearing the "no", even when they get it intellectually. So they pout - which I find "immature".
So it's really responsibility that makes a person "mature". You can take on more responsibility without having to leave the nest. And you can leave the nest and fail to accept that responsibility - there are lots of people out there who don't live with their parents and still manage to hang on to their immaturity for a long time. (Longer if they get married to someone who will take care of things for them...)
Sometimes the question is are the parents living with the adult child, instead of the adult child living with the parents.
When my mother was dying of ALS, before we put here in a nursing home, my sister lived in the same house. She had a nearby apartment. Did that make her immature-it did not. When I was 22, I was out of work for six months and moved backed in with my parents. I cut the grass, washed the dishes and did not just loaf around all day. Did that make me immature. I do not think so.
Sometimes, the most mature thing a young person is live at home, save up their money, so they can rent a decent apartment without having to have a roommate, who's only goal in life was to party all night.
Some young people are not ready to leave home at 20 or 21--they are immature. Everybody does not mature at the same age. Parents should not let the children become dependent on them. If the young adult is working, charge something for the extra food. Set some house rules, assigned some responsibilities. Help him or her develop the maturity that is needed to help them leave the nest.
I left my parents home when I was about nineteen years old. By then I felt like I wanted to be my own "big man". There are some things that I wanted to do which was not possible for me. I will here seek to give what I call a proper response to you question of how living with parents in adulthood makes a person extremely immature.
Maturity is the ability to take up certain kinds of responsibility. It is the willingness to face your fears and overcome them. It is the willingness to take chances and be prepared to face the consequences of your actions-be they good or bad.
Living with parents is a sign that one is not "grown up" or be willing to do what is needed to be done.
when living with parents, it is parents who make all the important decisions. My mother use to tell me that as long A as I am in her house I am still a child. Can I have a girl friend? No. Can I stay out at friends' house at night No? Well what can I do? Rent your own house, get your own keys and then make your own decisions.
But that is not fair. No one is talking about fairness. We are talking about growing up and be coming your own man. Get a job, earn your keep and spend your own money.
They made my life challenging until the day I walked out. Then I felt real good.
Living in parents house means a denial of whom you were intended to be. It just does not make it.
I think that the economy is making it tough for people to live on their own. Kids could move back in with their parents and help them pay their mortgage which could be beneficial to everyone. Great question.
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