is it possible for a man to have a heterosexual relationship and wear lingerie o

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  1. profile image51
    laurie123posted 13 years ago

    is it possible for a man to have a heterosexual relationship and wear lingerie or is this a sign of?

    my girlfriend is freaked out now that I have told her I need to wear lingerie whenever...she has left me at the moment..I'm not gay but is this fetish a sign of problems that I may bring to the relationship in the future?

  2. pippap profile image81
    pippapposted 13 years ago

    Contrary to popular belief, most cross-dressers are heterosexual.  They do not desire a relationship with another man, they are attracted to women.

    I'm not sure what causes a man to want to dress as a woman; but, then I don't understand women who want to dress as men either.

    I do know that it takes an understanding woman to be in a relationship with a cross-dresser because of all the prejudice, stigmas, and untruths that abound. 

    There is an old saying, "Clothes maketh the man."  I prefer to think that the clothes are irrelevant - I have known some truly great people who came wrapped in some strange clothing.

    1. Byonder5 profile image60
      Byonder5posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your understanding. And I speak as a mtf genderfluid who has experimented.. Thanks!

  3. Gr8legs profile image60
    Gr8legsposted 13 years ago

    Your girlfriend needs to read some of the wonderful hubs published by Hope Alexander on just this subject. If it is any help, I have reprinted here a declaration I wrote (mainly for myself) around 6 months ago, but have published elsewhere and also shown to some people who needed an explanation regarding my own lingerie-wearing habits.

    • I am a 100% straight man, who has never entertained a homosexual thought in his life.
    • I have gay and straight friends of both sexes.
    • I like wearing silky lingerie, I love the way it feels against my body.
    • I have no sense of gender dysphoria; I am a masculine man who loves being a man and engages in “manly” activities (watching/playing football, drinking beer, working out in the gym, admiring the female form in all its many glorious manifestations)
    • I also like wearing soft, silky lingerie. Does this make me any less of a man? Does this make me a danger to society? Is this a reason for me to be ostracised by society and classified as a “weirdo”?
    • Historically, many items of attire that are now considered in Western society to be “feminine”, including skirts, high heels hosiery and make-up were everyday items of male attire. Indeed, up until the middle of the 20th Century it was almost unheard of for a woman to wear bifurcated garments vis-a-vis trousers.

    So, why should I have to fear the derision of narrow-minded bigots who need to overcome their own sense of inadequacy by belittling others for having proclivities and tastes that they perceive to be “abnormal”?

    I hope that this has been of help to you.

  4. Nolyn profile image73
    Nolynposted 13 years ago

    My significant other has not problem with me wearing panties;  she sees them as just another kind of underwear.  She is,though uncomforatable with other things like feminine colors, lace and with me wearing a bra, etc.  She has said, "I'm not a lesbian..." - therin is the area of discomfort for her.  I respect that.  My interest is mainly comfortable underwear that fit well (I often wonder why men's underwear is made so poorly and fits so badly; for that matter, I wonder why women's full-cut briefs fit so well around my manly parts - but I am thankful that they do fit so well and that the fabric is so wonderful).  If you are concerned about fetish activity, then ask yourself why you want to wear panties/lingerie.  If it is a substitute for a meaningful sexual relationship with a woman, then you may have a problem.  If it is just because you like to wear something comfortable, then I don't see a problem.  If you have the chance, talk to a professional counselor about it - you'll be surprised at how supportive they are about men wearing lingerie/panties.  You and your girlfriend might go together - it would be very instructive for her as well.  In any case - only YOU know the answer to your question, and you are the one who needs to answer it.

    Another thought:  just because a man wears woman's underthings does not make him a "cross-dresser".  Cross dressing is wearing the opposite gender's clothing out in public as a common proactice.

    1. Levertis Steele profile image77
      Levertis Steeleposted 11 years agoin reply to this


      You said, "Cross dressing is wearing the opposite gender's clothing out in public as a common proactice."

      The difference is that the guy in public has come out of the closet.Guys look like female homosexuals in women's things.

      1. profile image52
        Abbypink42posted 4 years agoin reply to this

        I beg to differ lol

      2. profile image52
        Abbypink42posted 4 years agoin reply to this

        I can actually pass as a woman. I have had many women tell me I pull it off. I'm straight but I love crossdressing. Panties are my favorite!

  5. Levertis Steele profile image77
    Levertis Steeleposted 11 years ago

    A real 100% man wants to attract a real 100% woman, and vice versa. If a man likes panties, and his woman feels uncomfortable with them on him, then, he needs to choose between his woman and his panties.

    Where in the world did the issue about silk underwear for men come in? Who cares about fabric? My husband--when we were young--wore those old-fashioned, white, wide elastic banded, overlapping fly-front BVD's. I had to educate him. I bought him some silk low-riding underwear, and he has worn then and his BVD's alternately. Now, he is old, white headed and bearded, sits and hogs the remote mostly, but he still wears his silkies. Silk is comfortable on anyone who tells the truth. Fabric should not matter. Now, color does matter sometimes. When pink shirts for men came in when we were young, I bought him one. He wore it, but he never bought one for himself. That was a man pleasing his woman, reasonably. Now, if I had gotten ridiculous, he would have put me in check. He was a man then and still is.

    Now, concerning your problem with wearing feminine lingerie: I can relate to her leaving you. If she had wanted a feminine mate, she could have gone whole hog and gotten a woman. That woman wants a man! If you cannot be that in dress and mannerisms, just move on until you find a woman who accepts you as you are. See a professional, seasoned counselor about the fetish. A woman needs to follow any warning she feels. So should a man. You asked the question, " this fetish a sign of problems that I may bring to the relationship in the future?" That is your warning. Have it checked out. I wish you well.

  6. Hippie2000 profile image59
    Hippie2000posted 6 years ago

    Yes it is possible. I have had girlfriends, ex-wife and new wife. The ex-wife is not ex because of wearing ether.  Some of the girlfriends knew and some didn't. The wives knew right at the start. The one thing I learned is that I when I started talking to lady that I liked I just came out and told them right in the beginning.  I only had one person freak out. Here is what I would say to them. Would it bother you if I wear female lingerie? And get this answer most of the time. Why should it? Or I would get Really??? You don't look like the type, but I'm cool with it. So yeah very very possible.


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