this was a text that i sent to myself in dec 06, after meeting craig in april of 06. i had forgotten about it, but i guess i sent it to my best friend as well, and for whatever reason, she sent it to the inbox of an old email account that i rarely ever check. i found it, and its extremely sweet, uber girly, and a tad embarrassing as well.
i'm a nerd.
that said, i thought it would be a good starting point.
*nothing makes me get all smooshy-girly-gooey-oooey like he does. he's incredible. we mesh perfectly, in HUGE fairy tale amounts. he saved my belief in magic. an ex had killed that concept long ago. after i left him, i discovered this deep, dark, safe place inside my head. it was the most alone place i could find. i befriended a girl who lived there. she was a lot smarter, a little tougher. in control. she felt capable. grown up. a little bit ruthless. independent. fierce. i liked her. she stood for things i didn't think i could ever be. we laughed, and argued, and cried. we learned. she taught me how to detach. stay numb. then we met craig. Numb vs. Hope. they battled. i thought he banished her. not at all. he fought to make her stay. he made me see her for who she really was. she was a side of Me. buried. neglected. ...now he nurtures us both, pushes us to shine brighter.
keeping in mind that i was only allotted so many characters in my text form, and that you're not in my head to fill in the gaps that may not make sense to you, you gotta admit its kinda cute.
the point being- in all relationships, not just my romantic one, what makes me happiest in relationships is the freedom to be exactly who i am, without apology, excuse, or pretense.
and the ability to be able to reciprocate that in return.
...as well as the give and take that comes from intimacy, be that of friend, love, or family. the inside stuff.
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