"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "Out of sight, out of mind"?

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   William Normanposted 13 years ago

   "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "Out of sight, out of mind"?
   
   There are two commonly used phrases that are both regarded as truthful, but seem to contradict one another when applied to certain circumstances.  What phrase holds more truth when applied to long distance relationships?  "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "Out of sight, out of mind"?

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   Poetic Foolposted 13 years ago

   I think it varies from person to person and relationship to relationship.  In my experience both have been true.  Unfortunately, it has also been my experience that if the separation is long enough, the latter is usually the case. 
   
   Relationships of any kind require communication and contact to thrive.  With long distance relationships this is difficult and I fear it is human nature to drift apart in these situations.  Technology (cell phones, IM, Skype, etc.) has made it easier to stay in contact than when I was young but it still is no substitute for physical contact which relationships ultimately require.

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   samanthamayerposted 13 years ago

   I hold the 'long distance relationships never work' flag. There is something artificial about keeping in contact via technology, as poetic fool said. It is difficult to keep intimacy alive when all you have is a phone line or a computer screen... Rather, we end up feeling alone and isolated. I also don't think it's the latter, because although you may feel like the relationship is weak and almost non-existent when you're so far apart, it will always be in the back of your mind until you properly try to fix it or just end it.
   
   Also feeding off of what poetic fool said, immediately after a separation, we often feel the former, perhaps because we either start to second guess our decisions or are still holding on to this 'idea' of a perfect relationship. After time heals and we feel closure, we can finally embrace the latter. Even further down the track, when you have moved on completely, you are able to revisit those old memories and reflect.

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   engelfantasydreamposted 13 years ago

   this is case to case basis depending on the person in a long distance relationship..but i think it is more on absence makes the heart forget and absence makes someone play and play and cheat lolss..it is true!!, unless both are extremely  loyal and honest to each other..technology can do so much but can't not do everything that fills up the spaces between..it will lead 2 people in a relationship to grow apart..cos even when your loved 1 is near you, it is not an assurance that they are loyal to you and won't cheat, and they can't even give you much time you needed..so what more when they are far from you..no matter how hopeless romantic fool one can be...the absolute truth is..DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW APART,FORGET AND CHEAT...that Is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!!..

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   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   It depends on the couple involved. Most people would rather not be in a long distance relationship. However if they've been together for long while and one has to go away temporarily ( a month or two) without being able to see each other in person odds are the absense will make the heart grow fonder.
   On the other hand if they only just met over the weekend or during a vacation for one of them....etc At some point they are likely to drift apart no matter how strong the initial connection was. There's no substitute to being "there".
   There are exceptions though. I lived on the West Coast when I met my wife in the Midwest. We took turns flying back and forth to spend (one 4 day weekend per month) with one another for close to (a year). In between we talked first thing in the morning, at least once or twice during the work day,and ended each night with a call as well.  We sent each other emails, postcards, greeting cards, and gifts "just because".
   When two people feel the same way about one another and have the same goal....anything is possible!

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   stclairjackposted 13 years ago

   no one ever finishes that quote,... "distance makes the heart grow fonder, but familiarity breeds contempt"
   
   its about ballance,... just enough time apart to make the time together apreciated,... but not so much time apart that we forget the reason we love them.
   
   enough time together that we grow together,... but not so much time together that we are suffocated and sick of each other.
   
   ballance my friend

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   ivanhoe1963posted 13 years ago

   I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now. With only the internet emails and im's to feed our relationship is something that is not a normal relationship. With this economy "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is truly to me impossible for though we are away true relationships must have no electronics involved. Many may disagree; humans need physical contact with those they have relationships with. Without this; how can we really have a relationship? For even though we have we cams to show faces and microphones to reveal voices it is this presence of proximity that is the most important. We can endure a relationship during absences, such as the military, and business trips etc. that keep us away, it is when we are together, does the true relationship progress. For only in this way can the full essence of self be disclosed, be shared with each other, be given to one another.

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   Globetrekkermelposted 12 years ago

   I believe "absence makes the heart grow fonder" holds true if the absence is not over an extended period of time.Otherwise, the relationship will not survive and will eventually lead to "Out of sight ,Out of mind".That's the law of nature.LOL!

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