Why do so many men refer to watching thier own children as "babysitting"?

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   It's just meposted 14 years ago

   Why do so many men refer to watching thier own children as "babysitting"?

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   tom hellertposted 14 years ago

   tHIS IS EASY- gIRLS OFTEN TIMES EQUATE BABYSITTING WITH WATCHING CHILDREN THAT ARE NOT THEIR OWN SINCE MANY WOMEN AS GIRLS DID BABYSITTING TO EARN MONEY.sorry had capslock on whereas men did not do actual babysitting so they are our babies and we are watching them, its a prespective vs history issue.It is a semantics issue-My boys are 8 n 11 I don't babysit I "referee" them. Its incorrect to baby sit a kid over 6 yrs old especially if they have an older brother. So don't take it personally- its just a matter of word semantics

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   Chasukposted 14 years ago

   Tom may be right, but I think it also involves the male perception that watching children is women's work, i.e., that it is not a man's job.
   
   If it isn't my responsibility, these men rationalize, then I can denigrate the task so that it is obvious that I am doing it under duress.
   
   I'm not saying that any of this ever reaches the level of conscious thought, but I do believe that it is there, nonetheless.
   
   For the record, I never "babysat" my children. I watched them happily and often. They are still my best friends.

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   It's just meposted 14 years ago

   Do men realize that thoughtless comments like that are what anger and frustrate thier wives? Or do they even care that it does?

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   tucholskicposted 14 years ago

   I really try to avoid referring to watching my kids as "babysitting."
   
   But it's hard to find a term for it. I hate to say "watching the kids" or "it's my day with the kids" because that also carries the connotation that I'm somehow only responsible for my kids occasionally. But "babysit" is the worst term by far because it seems to indicate that the man is doing a distasteful task for a little money (kind of like my day job at Burger King).
   
   For the record, I don't "babysit" my kids. Ever. I made them. They are 50% me (scary as that might be). I am therefore fully responsible for the little munchkins, all the time.
   
   And I'm happy to do it. That's the trade off that I signed up for when I became a parent. Many--maybe most--men don't want that responsibility all the time. They think that they are somehow entitled to sit around and drink beer while the woman chases the kids around. After all, they had a tough day at work and deserve the downtime. Right?
   
   Wrong.
   
   Anyone can be a father. But only someone special can be a daddy. The men who refer to watching their own children as "babysitting" only want to be fathers, not daddies. They are really missing out on something special!

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