Do grandparents love their grandchildren more than their own children?
I have heard some grandparents say that they love their grandchildren more. Is it because they have forgotten how much they used to love their own children?
nooooooo... my mother in law still love her youngest daughter much much more than her grandchildren. Grand children makes them happy but old folks still refer to hear sweet honey words from their own children.
No, not more. But as one who has children and grandchildren the love you feel for them is very close to what you feel for your own children.
It is a different kind of love. When you are older, your love is different. Their personalities are different than your children and they don't live with you. You love to see them, but their parents are responsible for them. Their achievements and love make you proud and make a special relationship like no other. You don't usually know all the details of their lives, so it is a different type of closeness. I would still say I love them equally to my own children. Good question.
No but they can give them musical instruments without considering their abilities.
No, we do not love our Grandchildren more than we loved our children.
You, first must understand THIS:
the child of my child
is twice my child.
Stew on that, think about it, get a grasp on it.
It is because, we love our children, that we are able to love our grandchildren.
But the daily WORRY..........is not on us. It is now on our adult children.
Of course, we worry, we will cough up the lunch money, pay the doctor, pay for the gym class etc.............
But we do not deal with: breakfast, bus schedules, lunch or lunch money, I forgot my pencil, my crayons, sister is not up yet, Bob won't brush his teeth, Sara got cooties on my hairbrush, the school pictures are TODAY.....you have to come to the PTA, my teacher needs this signed, I got called to the principals office..........................
We are freer to enjoy the best moments, the creativity, we have learned that the house does not collapse because someone drew on the wall.....we are able to know that it does not matter if we eat at 6 or 9.......as long as we are not hungry.
It is not on us, any longer to set boundaries, enforce rules, teach lessons.......it is our time to just enjoy young people. We will "have your back", when it matters....but we have learned, from YOU, that often, it does not matter.
We saw you through.......got you grown......paid our dues..........BECAUSE we have so loved you........
we now love YOURS...........they are our reward for a job well done. We get to see YOU being little again......without the overtime, the medical bills, the daycare, the expense and the worry.
No, I do not love my Grandchildren more than I have loved my children.........I thank my child, for giving me a second chance, with her child.
If I had not loved my child first.......the grandchild would not matter.
As the grandmother of a 2 1/2 year old boy, this is a very complex question. At the moment, my son, his fiancee, and the toddler are living with us-which isn't easy-my husband and I feel there are some flaws in their parenting, but that's always a generational thing, I imagine. We adore our son, yes, but he is now a grown man who needs to leave this home and move on. He has issues, as they say, which is making it difficult for them to move.
Jeeze, it's such a long, involved tale, I won't go into it here, but in essence, I know my son and his fiancee adore their son, as do I and his grandpa. Perhaps the little one's innocence is something we are trying to protect, so we worry about him/how will they raise him without us? We've virtually raised the boy since his birth due to various problems his parents have faced-so I really don't know.
I don't think they love their grandchildren more. It might have a lot to do with innocence as someone mentioned but to put it in bizarre context I think the 'innocence' spoken of is mutual in grandchildren-grandparent relationships. Older people are generally sweeter and have nothing more to prove and the same applies to children so perhaps they relate more in that sense. There's a shared sense of 'just being' between grandchildren and grandparents. Probably makes no sense but I think that's one of the reasons it seems as though they love their grandchildren more.
It might also have to do with legacies - I imagine looking into your grandchild's innocent eyes could make one feel like all is well in the future. There's always so much hope in them, so much optimism - which that may no longer be there in the older child.
I don't think its about loving our grandchildren more, its more about appreciating our grandchildren more and realising how precious the time they spend with them is. With out own children we are so wrapped up in meeting their needs, working hard to support our families, and are generally so busy that we simply don't have the time to appreciate our children in the say way that we can our grandchildren.
The pleasure of grandchildren is such a haven for grandparents they just want to enjoy their grandchildren from their children loving them the same but in a different way
I wouldn't say that they love their grandchildren more, but think about it this way: somebody else -- their children -- raises the grandchildren. So the grandparents often don't have to put up with a lot of the stuff they would have put up with while raising their own children. This isn't always true, but it's often the case.
I also think people, as they grow older, become a bit more laid back and have more time for young ones than they did when they were younger.
I think it is a more enjoyable love because you don't feel that overwhelming burden of responsibility. It's more pleasure than pain. My 18 month old grandson was pitching a fit (overtired) during a visit and hit my daughter in the eye. Instictively I grabbed him so she could recover. I was absolutely more concerned for her than I was for him. I don't think that maternal protection for your own child ever goes away.
Many are right. We love these kids and it seems to be more than our children, but it's not that at all. We can show it because the kids show it. It's fun because we are not there as diciplinarians. We aren't there to make them do anything but have fun.
But also, I think it gives me a chance to reflect on times when it was my son on my knee, that I know will never happen again. It's a physical part of my children that I can touch and laugh with like I did years before. In many ways, it's kind of like a second chance. I really can't explain that one, but you may understand anyway.
What may seem like expression of more love is actually us just enjoying each other. Face it! That's all we have to do!
I will let you know what I think on this topic after tomorrow. My daughter in law is being induced at 7 tomorrow morning to induce labor. This is my first grandchild, and round two with hanging out doing toddler stuff. I've missed having a youngster for my sidekick...
This is gonna be so FUN!
Some thoughtful answers here already, but no, not more. Not possible. There are differences, though. It is a more relaxed love in some ways, for reasons already mentioned. It is a reflection of our earliest love for our children that can be enjoyed far longer. The happy, heady days of infancy and early childhood are overshadowed and sometimes replaced by the responsibilities and issues young parents are working through. As grandparents we've been there, done that. Now we are free to express the love without the complications of life's stuff and such. So much more could be written...
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