How would you react if your son or daughter told you they were gay?
And even if you do not have children yet, how would you react if your future child told you they were gay?
I'd FREAK OUT! No way I've got kids that age and don't know it.
Probably somewhat reserved as I tried to figure out what they were going through and their perspective of life to help me understand better. I am not saying it wouldn't be hard, but if my one of my children is homosexual then they are homosexual doesn't change the fact that they are my child.
Well, I would assure them I will love them always and forever no matter what but I would have to tell them that I am not "okay" with their choice or way of love. I don't think it is okay to be gay or lesbian but I am in no place to judge them. That's between them and God!
I personally know a few gay and lesbian people and I treat them no different. As long as they aren't speaking of what they do, or in a lesbian's case, hitting on me, I don't think about it. I see them as people because that's what they are. We are all humans and just because I find something wrong with what someone does, it does not make me right.
I would be OK with that. However, I would be surprised that I had no clue altogether.
Honestly, I have no idea. I have no problem with homosexuals, but I'm not sure that I would be terribly excited to find out my child was gay. I would accept it, yes, but I don't think I would be jumping for joy right off the bat. I guess it's different when it's your own children. Of course, I would still love my child no matter what.
It would take me some time to adjust to the idea; because even though I've always considered the possibility that one of the three of them could one day announce that, I've also done the usual of thing of taking for granted that they are not.
My big thing would be that I'd want them to know it made no difference to me. I absolutely adore all three of them (now grown) for the people they are, and have always been. It's that simple.
I'd hope, too, though, that they'd understand that I would have a little bit of "getting-used-to" to do, and a little bit of re-thinking some of the things I may have been thinking (like imagining them marrying someone of the opposite sex and coming by any family they wanted the "usual" way). So, I'd hope they overlooked some things I may say or do out of not being completely settled into "the new news" I'd gotten.
I'm not sure someone who hasn't had his own children, or even someone who hasn't reached the stage where they've grown up, can imagine how much a most mothers love their grown children (at least the ones who have always loved their children in the way that a mother "is supposed to").
Thinking about each of my own three grown children, and imagining what I'd do; it's so "without-a-doubt" that I can say it wouldn't make any difference in how I feel about any of them.
When my younger daughter still lived at home, she brought home a friend of hers from school. He had been kicked out of his own home because he told his father that he was gay. It made me think about what I would do if one of my kids told me they were gay. I'm not entirely sure, but I hope that I would be understanding and helpful and listen to what they had to say. I have no problem with people and their sexual orientation, so I think that my kids would feel comfortable opening up to me....I feel bad for people of all ages who feel that they need to hide from society or family for being different....
There are so many things to consider. I would tell them that it was fine, it didn't make any difference to me and I was proud of them no matter what. Then I would probably contact a few of my gay friends so that when it came time for me to discuss sex, safety, and dating with my child I would have accurate information that pertained to their issues and experiences specifically. I would also introduce them to books, movies, tv shows, and plays featuring strong, gay characters so that they didn't feel alienated, alone, or ashamed. I also may contact members of the gay straight alliance and ask for information about raising a gay child or any extra support they may need.
And then I'd just treat them like a normal teenager. Make them do their homework and mow the lawn.
My immediate thoughts would be, "Hot Damn! No grandkids to worry about supporting!"
To be honest I feel that it is not for me to stop the way they feel about sex. However, we live in a world where people who have a different proclivity can be excluded from certain circles and I would try to teach them to be wise about how they handle this
I would react with PRIDE and I would be honored that they felt comfortable and safe enough to tell me.
As I raise my children, I plan on not presuming they will be heterosexual. I will teach them that being gay, straight, or bisexual are all healthy life paths, and by doing this, I hope my children will discuss their feelings and sexuality with me openly. I will be proud of my children whoever they decide to love.
I think Erin gave an especially insightful answer to this question, and I say ditto to her response.
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