Do you think a child should know the true reason why his/her parents split up even though it may...
be negative actions of one or both parents? If yes, what age is a good age to tell them?
If the child is old enough to understand that mom and dad are splitting up whether temporarily or permanently and might end up divorcing, if the child know and understands completely these facts, then the child should be able to receive understand and accept the truth as to why.
For any child to have two parents, then suddenly only have one, needs explaining. Why only one now and where is the other one?
Most importantly the child should know that it is loved, and not the cause for the separation under any circumstances, it is something between the parents, who are supposed to be adults.
Dave, I agree with you completely, but I should have been more direct with my question. If the child was too young to know why the parents split up, and to this day can only remember a view past memories of the parents being together. Should you then tell them the truth?
If the child was 1 or 2 when the divorce happened and 6 years have passed since the parents were together, should the child know the truth behind the divorce? Or should you just leave it at your parents just got divorced?
If the child ask for specific reasons, it would be fair to give the answers,it may be hard not to blame your partner, for this reason its better to say you have tried but you just do not love each other enough to stay together. This will help the child to love both parents equally. Where physical or psychological abuse is involved, its better to be honest as the child may become a victim.The information can be given in a caring way such that the child will understand the abusive parent can not help from abusing. Remember you have your own version and so does your partner. If possible, agree with your patrner what answer each will give the child. This helps the child respect each of you as individuals,and the decision you have made, though it may be hard to take in.
If he is grown up and understands the value of father and mother, he can be apprised of the fact of his parents split up. Good age to tell the things is when he or she have crossed the age being a child.
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