I have a trust issue to the point where i go though his cell phone checks his bank account when...
he says he doesnt have any money and it turns out he does im always thinkin hes cheatin and i dont even know if he is are not and i hate feelin these feelins and doing what im doin he is a good hard workin man but everything has went sour in our relationship PLEASE HELP me to be more trustworthy.
He's given you a reason not to trust, tell him how you feel. If his response is anything then what you want to know. Cut ties.
Jealousy is a very destructive thing as you are already finding out. The key is to sit down with him and discuss your feelings and make a decision. If you choose to stay with him, you have to lay all your expectations out (no lying, long term commitment, etc...). But in exchange, you have to trust again. Wipe the slate clean. If the jealousy is constantly hanging over your heads, your relationship will never make it. Forgive and let go...
I was always scared of "being hurt". When I made the decision that he couldn't hurt me anymore, I really stopped my jealous snooping. The way I knew he couldn't hurt me anymore was when I realized if he did cheat, I didn't want him anyways. I was better off without him. Hence, it was out of my hands.
Stop thinking about the negative stuff. After all hes probably not even cheating on you or doing anything behind your back. The more you think about the negative stuff the more its gonna get worse. I suggest you should stop going through his stuff. Cause all the things that you might see might not be what you think it is. If your boyfriend makes you a happy, just be happy that you have him and hes all yours.
Dear Shonta911: As others have pointed out in their comments, it sounds like you are not only dealing with jealous fears, but also with weakened trust because of his lying about money (and possibly other relationship habits too).
It is so important to continually bring yourself back to the present moment and what you DO know in your relationship.
If you suspect that he is cheating (and this is why he is lying about money), pay attention to any inconsistencies that you find in other areas of your relationship. The differences between what he says and what he actually does are helpful to note. Unexplained and significant changes in how he communicates, treats you, dresses, etc. are also places to look.
There is a fine line between gathering information to either support or discount your suspicions that your man is lying and simply spying because your jealousy has gotten the best of you.
When you feel compelled to look through his cell phone or bank account, pause before you act. If you are only doing this because you feel jealous fear or you are thinking about the last time he lied to you, it might be wise to calm yourself down first.
Make it a point to look for ways that he might already be showing you that he is trustable and remind yourself of that. If you can't find any signs that he is being more honest and open with you (about money and other things too), it *might* be a sign that he is continuing to lie and possibly cheat.
The bottom line here is for you to pay attention and make decisions about how you act and what you say from a place of clarity and choice (not just a reaction).
by SoleiMarie6 years ago
This is the first time I have been into a relationship because I was too career focused. My boyfriend used to be a renowned playboy and I often feel the jealousy inside. I get irritated when he is with other girls...
by Emile R4 years ago
We all enjoy sharing our individual philosophies; but, at what point does it turn into pushing them? Where do we draw the line in our mind as to what is personal opinion and what should be viewed as universal truth?I'm...
by Ben Evans7 years ago
We are in a recession and demand for oil has dropped yet we still see prices rise. This is while supply is actually abundant. Some people say there is a glut.Oil demand in economic terms is described as...
by zeke21004 years ago
Have you ever came to a point where you had to choose a path that would determine your future?Describe a pivotal moment in your life that would ultimately decide your future. How did you come to this point and did it...
by Simon Setlhare4 years ago
Is it good to be jealous about your partner in relationship?
by Motherbynature2 years ago
Who is more jealous relationships? Men or women?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.