Is it wrong to find someone other than your spouse attractive and have dirty thoughts about them...
if you dont act on them?
Depends on how intelligent you are and what perception you have of the moral issues.
Fantasising about someone else is a lot less harmful than making it a reality.
How high up would the act go on the scale of the repercussion thermometer?
Actually this is something natural, we all are humans and this is nearly impossible for humans to control the sexual temptations because we have something in us from which we cannot rid off.
Assuming this is someone you know and not an actor, it's a bad idea. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is not which is why the mind is so powerful to produce what it dwells on.
Thoughts are seed and as they grow they become actions. Specifically, if you sow a thought, you will eventually reap an action. In this case, it would be called an affair.
I would not call sexual thought as "dirty thoughts". Society may.
Sex is one of the greatest gifts of God to Man. Sex was designed by God and not by some evil beings. In Genesis, the first thing God told about man was "It is not good for man to be alone" and He went on to say to man "go forth and multiply". We are programmed by him to seek sex. It first enriches relationships and then does help man to procreate. God is pleased with inventing sex.
However, you are right that you should about conducting sex in manner responsible to the well being of your loved ones, your sexual partner and yourself. Sex can be abused and can destroy relationships too.
Now don't not fight sexual thoughts, the more you fight the stronger these thoughts get. Just fantasize them and they will slowly drift away. It may take hours, days, or weeks. Do not get into sexual relationships that may not work out or cause you to have emotional setbacks. It is your personal decision and only you an make that decision. God gives you free choice here, however, the outcome will can make you happy or sad. Choose wisely.
just dont act on thoose thoughts we all have thoughts of others this dosent make you a bad person it simply means your human it is in our nature to have diseirs for others yes even when we are in a relashonsip in my opion this is normal its just something no one wants to adress i apprecaite you being so brave as to bring this up
As umairabid states, it is quite natural and normal to fantasize about individuals other than your spouse, the most important thing is to refrain from acting on it. Fantasy is healthy as it's an internal form of expression - by acknowledging our desires we are often able to relinquish any real hold the fantasy may have over us. How many of us have fantasies that would truly be detested or despicable if realized? Fantasy is a safe realm as long as you don't get lost in it.
Only if you call out the name of the "other someone" when in the throes of passion with your spouse!
You can't control who you are attracted to, you can only control it.
Fantasies are just that until one acts on them, and what happens in the psyche stays in the psyche.
CP
I say yes and no; youre only human; and it's only by natural forces the opposites will always attract. Think about it and actually committing The act in which you think of are two different things. My advice "don't do what you wouldn't want others do to you" it's that simple. --Nikkii
Well, we were all wired a certain way, men especially are wired visually, so it is awfully hard for us NOT to look at an attractive woman and not have thoughts that are at least "PG".
As someone else says, it's not the thoughts, it's how you act on them.
The mind is our own enemy and perverse at times. But its up to the person to act on the thought. But if the thought is put in affect its just the same as acting on the thought. Its a sin either way. -Bella
Fantasising about someone else is a lot less harmful than making it a reality.
Yes, it's wrong. It's called lust, and it's like the gateway drug. The more you do it, the more you become desensitized to it and to the things that follow - flirting, dressing to impress them, looking forward to seeing them, etc. and so forth. Your best bet is to not allow yourself to linger on these thoughts. Instead, take a good look at your spouse and remember that you've got a history with this person who has vowed to love and take care of you for the rest of your life. And, do the same for them. Don't lead yourself into temptation.
I guess that we all felt attracted to someone else, but I guess that is natural, and I also think you may have some "dirty thoughts" as you say. But I believe that you can control them, And you have to give the best of you to do that!!!
I think it is, you should only look at your spouse and no one else.
I am married now for 32 years. I love my wife.She loves me. We are devoted to each other and she is the only one I ever had an intimate relation with. But, a man is a man and one of the things that makes us tick, is that we can fantasize about other women. If not, then we would not be men. This include some dirty thoughts but a man will stop doing this the day he dies! My wife knows this - we have open communication and it just motivates her to be more than the perfect lover. Her philosophy is that as long as the mind wanders off, but she will get worried when something else wanders off . . .
it depends on person to person. If the relationship with spouse is not good then thinking dirty about others is not bad.
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by FelineFrance 13 years ago
I am curious as to why it is wrong. I do agree that is there is much more to a relationship than looks. What if you are 5 ft 11 woman and do not feel comfortable dating a 5 ft 2 man? Why is it shallow? Isn't a waste of time going out with a guy who honestly do not find attractive?
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Do you think it is disrespectful for your spouse to admire another's beauty while with you?Do you think it is natural? Do you do it with them? Do you get mad if they do? Do you encourage it?
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