Is it wrong to find someone other than your spouse attractive and have dirty tho

Jump to Last Post 1-18 of 18 discussions (18 posts)
  1. IdeaMorphist profile image60
    IdeaMorphistposted 13 years ago

    Is it wrong to find someone other than your spouse attractive and have dirty thoughts about them...

    if you dont act on them?

  2. Joe Badtoe profile image60
    Joe Badtoeposted 13 years ago

    Depends on how intelligent you are and what perception you have of the moral issues.

    Fantasising about someone else is a lot less harmful than making it a reality.

    How high up would the act go on the scale of the repercussion thermometer?

  3. umairabid profile image57
    umairabidposted 13 years ago

    Actually this is something natural, we all are humans and this is nearly impossible for humans to control the sexual temptations because we have something in us from which we cannot rid off.

  4. akirlew profile image61
    akirlewposted 13 years ago

    Assuming this is someone you know and not an actor, it's a bad idea. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is not which is why the mind is so powerful to produce what it dwells on.

    Thoughts are seed and as they grow they become actions. Specifically, if you sow a thought, you will eventually reap an action. In this case, it would be called an affair.

  5. Thesource profile image66
    Thesourceposted 13 years ago

    I would not call sexual thought as "dirty thoughts". Society may.
    Sex is one of the greatest gifts of God to Man. Sex was designed  by God and not by some evil beings. In Genesis, the first thing God told about man was "It is not good for man to be alone" and He went on to say to man "go forth and multiply". We are programmed by him to seek sex. It first enriches relationships and then does help man to procreate. God is pleased with inventing sex.

    However, you are right that you should about conducting sex in manner responsible to the well being of your loved ones, your sexual partner and yourself. Sex can be abused and can destroy relationships too.

    Now don't not fight sexual thoughts, the more you fight the stronger these thoughts get. Just fantasize them and they will slowly drift away. It may take hours, days, or weeks. Do not get into sexual relationships that may not work out or cause you to have emotional setbacks. It is your personal decision and only you an make that decision. God gives you free choice here, however, the outcome will can make you happy or sad. Choose wisely.

  6. ajuvr profile image60
    ajuvrposted 13 years ago

    could you please single out one who doesn't think 'dirty'

  7. profile image0
    jasper420posted 13 years ago

    just dont act on thoose thoughts we all have thoughts of others this dosent make you a bad person it simply means your human it is in our nature to have diseirs for others yes even when we are in a relashonsip in my opion this is normal its just something no one wants to adress i apprecaite you being so brave as to bring this up

  8. JMFConsulting profile image61
    JMFConsultingposted 13 years ago

    As umairabid states, it is quite natural and normal to fantasize about individuals other than your spouse, the most important thing is to refrain from acting on it.  Fantasy is healthy as it's an internal form of expression - by acknowledging our desires we are often able to relinquish any real hold the fantasy may have over us.  How many of us have fantasies that would truly be detested or despicable if realized?  Fantasy is a safe realm as long as you don't get lost in it.

  9. Christopher Price profile image60
    Christopher Priceposted 13 years ago

    Only if you call out the name of the "other someone" when in the throes of passion with your spouse!
    You can't control who you are attracted to, you can only control it.
    Fantasies are just that until one acts on them, and what happens in the psyche stays in the psyche.

  10. profile image0
    NikiiLeeReyesposted 13 years ago

    I say yes and no; youre only human; and it's only by natural forces the opposites will always attract. Think about it and actually committing The act in which you think of are two different things. My advice "don't do what you wouldn't want others do to you" it's that simple. --Nikkii

  11. BillyDRitchie profile image61
    BillyDRitchieposted 13 years ago

    Well, we were all wired a certain way, men especially are wired visually, so it is awfully hard for us NOT to look at an attractive woman and not have thoughts that are at least "PG".

    As someone else says, it's not the thoughts, it's how you act on them.

  12. bellawritter23 profile image77
    bellawritter23posted 13 years ago

    The mind is our own enemy and perverse at times. But its up to the person to act on the thought. But if the thought is put in affect its just the same as acting on the thought. Its a sin either way. -Bella

  13. profile image58
    disenadorwebposted 13 years ago

    Fantasising about someone else is a lot less harmful than making it a reality.

  14. profile image57
    marriagemuseposted 13 years ago

    Yes, it's wrong. It's called lust, and it's like the gateway drug. The more you do it, the more you become desensitized to it and to the things that follow - flirting, dressing to impress them, looking forward to seeing them, etc. and so forth.  Your best bet is to not allow yourself to linger on these thoughts. Instead, take a good look at your spouse and remember that you've got a history with this person who has vowed to love and take care of you for the rest of your life. And, do the same for them.  Don't lead yourself into temptation.

  15. MarieAlice profile image73
    MarieAliceposted 13 years ago

    I guess that we all  felt attracted to someone else, but I guess that is natural, and I also think you may have some "dirty thoughts" as you say.  But I believe that you can control them, And you have to give the best of you to do that!!!

  16. adamleaf profile image39
    adamleafposted 13 years ago

    I think it is, you should only look at your spouse and no one else.

  17. HendrikDB profile image71
    HendrikDBposted 13 years ago

    I am married now for 32 years. I love my wife.She loves me. We are devoted to each other and she is the only one I ever had an intimate relation with. But, a man is a man and one of the things that makes us tick, is that we can fantasize about other women. If not, then we would not be men. This include some dirty thoughts but a man will stop doing this the day he dies! My wife knows this - we have open communication and it just motivates her to be more than the perfect lover. Her philosophy is that as long as the mind wanders off, but she will get worried when something else wanders off . . .

  18. anna20 profile image58
    anna20posted 13 years ago

    it depends on person to person. If the relationship with spouse is not good then thinking dirty about others is not bad.

Closed to reply

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)