Is it wrong to text your ex if you just want to be friends but your current one

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   Cass13posted 8 years ago

   Is it wrong to text your ex if you just want to be friends but your current one doesn't like it?
   
   

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   bead at home momposted 8 years ago

   yes it is...it's fine that you want to be friends with the old but do you really want to be with your current one? Which is more important to you the old or the new?

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      Cass13posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I love my boyfriend a lot, but he wants me to change quite a bit which at times gets frustrating. My ex texted, asking about my pet and the Christmas program here and my boyfriend got really upset. It's stressful.

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      bead at home momposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Ask yourself why does your new want you to change? Why does it upset him so? There sounds more behind this than just the initial question reveals...and more to this than meets the eye. Life is too short to be unhappy or stressed. I hope it works out.

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   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   It's really not about right or wrong but rather agree or disagree.
   Some people have no issue with remaining friends with exes.
   The problem is they (choose) someone for a mate who dislikes it!
   Ideally the goal is to find someone who is naturally in agreement with you and shares your same values. However most folks fall into a trap of trying to convince their mate to "change" or see things "their way".
   Another tactic often used is "sneaking" or lying by omission to one's mate while staying friends with their exes. This erodes trust.
   In order to experience happiness you have to be true to yourself!
   If either person has to "change" their (core being) in order to make a relationship "work" it means you're with the wrong person!
   Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air and screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
   Whenever someone feels {forced to accept or give up something} there will always be a current of resentment within the relationship.
   The goal is to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with. If it's that important for you to remain friends with your ex it doesn't mean you are right or wrong.
   It just means (your current mate) is the wrong one for you!

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      Cass13posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your response. He does require me to change in some ways, which may be for my benefit but stressful nonetheless.

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      bead at home momposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I would agree more with this take on it...it's not right or wrong, moral or immoral it is more of being with the right one for you...This is not necessarily a black and white answer. What does your gut tell you?

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      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Cass13,
      The goal is to be loved & appreciated for who (you) are!
      If your boyfriend "requires you to change" it's for HIS benefit not YOURS! Remember he is not your father!
      Too often women later complain about getting "lost" in relationships.

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