Hi Veronica - You offer some sound advice. I need some help with the below situation. What can i do?
I am a separated woman. 3 years ago, I started an affair with a married man. We fell deeply in love. We also had a child together. He was going to leave his wife and adopted daughter. When he told his wife, she refused to let him go. He crumbled under the pressure and decided to stay in his marriage. But he is not willing to give up our son - he wants to be there for him. He wants to move to where I am, so he can play an active role in my son's life. His wife is ok, as long as maintains no relations with me, but she does not want my son to call him his dad. She wants him to stay as an "uncle"
My question was around the child - do I agree to let his father remain a part of his life, but be known as the "uncle"?
My fear is that this could potentially have a bad effect on him when he grows up and discovers that the person he thinks is a relative, is actually his father.
I have tried to cut myself off, but my son's father won't let me - he loves our son too much.
I want to make a clean break, but both the husband and the wife won't let me. yes, the wife keeps calling me and saying she wants to let her husband remain a part of my son's life, but that she won't accept him calling her husband Dad.
What do I do?
You have every right to tell your son who is father is and he every right to know the truth.
Just because your relationship with this man began as a "secret affair" doesn't mean this child should grow up believing a lie! (The truth comes out eventually)
How would you feel if you were told this lie as a child?
His wife has no say this matter!!!
I suspect the reasons she doesn't want the child to him dad is because she was unable to give him a child and she wants their adopted daughter to believe she is his only child.
It's a good idea for this man to be active in child's life. Hopefully you are also getting some child support.
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